Chapter 26 Standing between ice and fire
Hazel didn’t realize how long she had been staring at her own reflection. Her fingers brushed against her lips over and over again, those same lips Kael had kissed.
The memory came back in waves. The heat of his hand on her waist, the steady pull of his heartbeat against hers, the ache of everything unsaid between them.
She exhaled sharply, as if trying to breathe the feeling out of her body but nothing was working.
“You’re losing it”
She muttered under her breath and nodded in agreement.
But no matter how many times she told herself that, her heart didn’t listen. It throbbed, betraying her with every beat.
Dona who had walked in a while back moved close to her and tilted her head with a teasing smile, startling Hazel.
“Oh shit”!
Hazel yelled as she jumped back in fright.
“Make some sound would you”!
She said with her hand still on her chest while Dona went to sit on the bed.
“Well, if you weren't so lost in your thoughts, you would have heard me walk in”.
She said.
“You’ve been staring into that mirror for over five minutes Hazel. You might as well start living in it".
She said and Hazel turned, forcing a smile.
“Maybe my reflection listens better than you do”.
Dona chuckled but her eyes were searching and suddenly, she spoke.
“You’re scared”.
That made Hazel blink.
“What”?
Dona stood up and walked towards her.
“It's not that you don't like him or don't want to be with him, you're just scared of what you feel. Scared that loving him again means you'd have to deal with anything that comes with it”.
Hazel looked down.
“Maybe I am”.
She whispered.
“He left me once, Dona. One doubt, one misunderstanding, and he let me drown in it.”
Dona reached out and took her hand.
“And yet here you are, still catching your breath whenever he looks at you”.
Hazel smiled nervously.
“Maybe it's best to like him in silence, that way I won't expect much”.
Dona sighed but said nothing else.
Hazel then looked at her with her eyes opened.
“Ohh and… about Cathy".
As soon as Dona heard that name, she rolled her eyes.
“Can we not talk about her”?
She asked.
“I spoke to her, and she won't cross the line again”.
Hazel said and Dona just kept looking at her. She was grateful Hazel spoke to her, but Cathy doesn't look like one to listen.
“It's fine, I don't have to get along with her just because she's your friend. But I'll try not to have issues with her all the time”.
She said and Hazel's eyes immediately glowed.
“Really”?
She asked.
“Only… because of you”.
Dona said and Hazel immediately hugged her.
After a while, Hazel went to see Kael in his study.
“Hey”.
She said as he didn't notice she had walked in. He raised his head and gave her a smile.
“I was expecting you to be hiding away from me for a while”.
He said and she smiled nervously.
“You seem very busy”.
She said and he nodded.
“Mnn, just… making sure the borders are secure.”
He said and she went over to sit down.
“Is something wrong”?
She asked and he looked at her for a while before he sighed and rested back.
“Mnn, it seems Dragon pack has infiltrated out boarders again”.
He said and her eyes opened wide.
“That psycho, he's still trying to get Nightshade pack”?
She asked and he nodded.
Dragon pack has being a rival pack to Nightshade long before Kael's parents died. The old man, alpha Devon was very greedy and was determined to have Nightshade for himself no matter what.
Kael suspects he's behind the rogues as that's another way of getting allies.
“I can't have him gaining access into my lands, I have way too much to protect”.
He said and looked at her.
“Especially you”.
Hazel’s throat went dry.
“Why me”?
He looked at her and sighed gently.
“Because I care about you Hazel".
He said and she smiled.
“You’ve always worried, Kael. Even when you didn’t trust me”.
He flinched slightly.
“Hazel…”
She shook her head.
“Don't get me wrong Kael, I’m not bringing up the past to hurt you. I just want you to understand that it’s not easy for me. Being near you, it feels like standing between fire and ice”.
She said, trying to explain exactly how her heart felt.
“Then tell me which you want, and I’ll be it”.
Her lips parted, but no words came. She could see that he was trying, she could tell that he was sorry and was trying to get her back, but she just couldn't bring herself to trust him.
“You don’t get it, I’m scared of wanting you again. Because if I do… and you leave again, I won’t survive it this time”.
He looked at her, and for a heartbeat, everything went still. The world, the wind, her breath, everything froze between them.
Standing up, he walked towards her and sat on a chair right next to her.
“I meant what I said Hazel".
He said.
“About wanting to make this work, about us.”
Her pulse quickened.
“Kael, I…”
Before she could finish, he grabbed her hand, his fingers brushed against hers. The touch was light, hesitant, as though he was afraid she might pull back if he pressed too hard.
Hazel didn’t pull away, instead, she looked at him, like really looked at him, and the years between them collapsed into that one moment.
His eyes were softer than she remembered, filled with both longing and apology.
“You don’t have to answer now, but just know that I’m not going anywhere this time”.
Hazel’s chest tightened painfully.
The way he spoke was so steady, so sure that it made her throat burn. She turned away, pretending to look at the horizon so he wo
uldn’t see the tears threatening her eyes.
“I don’t know if I can believe you”.
She said softly.
Kael nodded and looked at her with so much sincerity.
“Then let me prove it”.