Chapter 145 HERE LIES

Chapter 145 145: HERE LIES
MERRIELYNN.

The graveyard was quieter than I expected.
I thought there would be birds singing or wind rustling through leaves or something to fill the silence. But there was nothing except our footsteps crunching on the stone path and the sound of my own breathing.
Cormac walked beside me with his hand wrapped around mine. He’d changed out of the blood-soaked pants from earlier. He was wearing all black now. Simple dark clothes that made him look older somehow. His hair was still damp from the shower he’d taken after the guards finally cleared everyone out of the square.
We hadn’t talked much since leaving the palace. There wasn’t much to say.
He knew where we were going. He knew what I needed to do.
The path curved through rows of headstones. Some of them were elaborate with carved angels and detailed inscriptions that probably cost a fortune. Others were simple gray markers with just names and dates etched into the stone.
Cormac slowed his steps. Then he stopped walking completely.
I looked up at him and followed his gaze.
He was staring at a headstone about twenty feet ahead of us. It was plain gray, there was nothing fancy about it at all.
“That’s him,” Cormac said quietly. “Your father.”
My throat closed up so fast I couldn’t breathe for a second.
My dad.
I remembered everything about him now. I remembered the way he used to make pancakes every Sunday morning and burn half of them. I remembered how he’d looked at me the day we moved into the palace like he couldn’t quite believe our luck had changed so dramatically.
I remembered how he’d raised me alone after my mother died. How he’d been both parents rolled into one.
How he’d been the best father anyone could ask for.
Cormac squeezed my hand once. “I’ll wait over there,” he said. He gestured toward a bench sitting under a large oak tree about thirty yards away. “Take as long as you need.”
I nodded because my voice wasn’t working anymore.
He pressed a kiss to my temple. Then he let go of my hand and I immediately felt the loss of his warmth.
I watched him walk away. He settled onto the bench and leaned back against the tree trunk. His eyes found mine across the distance and he gave me this small encouraging nod.
I turned back toward my father’s grave.
Each step I took felt heavier than the last. My legs didn’t want to carry me forward. My whole body was resisting this.
But I forced myself to keep moving until I was standing directly in front of the headstone.
Otto Fortner
Beloved Father and Loyal Beta
May He Rest in the Arms of the Goddess
The dates were carved underneath in smaller letters. The day he was born. The day he died.
Forty-three years old.
Too young. Way too young.
I dropped to my knees in front of the stone. The grass was soft and slightly damp underneath me. Someone had been maintaining this grave. There were fresh flowers sitting in a small vase beside the headstone.
“Hi, Dad,” I said.
My voice came out as barely a whisper. The words felt stupid and inadequate. What was I supposed to say to the father who’d sacrificed everything so I could live?
“I’m sorry,” I tried again. Tears were already building in my eyes. “I’m so sorry I forgot you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you died. I’m sorry you had to take the blame for me.”
The tears spilled over and ran down my cheeks.
“I remember everything now,” I continued. My voice was shaking. “Every birthday party you threw for me. Every lesson you taught me about being strong. Every time you told me you were proud. I remember all of it and it hurts so much that you’re gone.”
My voice broke completely.
“You died for me,” I whispered. “You took the blame for something that wasn’t your fault and you let them execute you so I could live. How am I supposed to be okay with that? How am I supposed to live my life knowing you’re dead because of me?”
The wind picked up slightly. It rustled through the trees surrounding the cemetery and made the flowers in the vase sway back and forth.
“Cormac killed his father today,” I said. “He challenged him to a duel right there in front of everyone and he won. He’s King now. And he did it to save me. To stop them from executing me the same way they executed you.”
I reached out and touched the headstone. The stone was cold under my palm.
“I don’t know if you can see what’s happening from wherever you are,” I said. “But if you can, I need you to know something important.”
I took a shaky breath.
“I’m going to be okay,” I said. “I’m going to be Luna now. I’m going to help Cormac rule this kingdom and I’m going to make you so proud of me. I’m going to honor your sacrifice by living the best life I possibly can. By being strong and brave and everything you raised me to be.”
The tears were coming faster now. I couldn’t stop them.
“I love you,” I choked out. “I’m sorry I forgot you for so long. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. I’m sorry for all of it. But I promise I’ll never forget you again. I promise.”
I stayed there for a long time. Just kneeling in front of his grave and crying and telling him everything I wished I’d gotten to say when he was still alive.
Eventually the tears slowed down.
My breathing evened out into something more normal.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand and stood up slowly. My knees were aching from kneeling on the ground for so long.
I looked over at the bench where Cormac was waiting for me.
He was watching me carefully. The moment our eyes met, he stood up.
I took one last long look at my father’s headstone. Then I turned around and walked toward Cormac.
He met me halfway across the grass. His arms came around me without any hesitation and I buried my face in his chest.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
“No,” I said honestly. “But I will be.”
He held me for another long moment. Then he pulled back slightly and looked down at me with this gentle expression.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
I knew what he was asking.
If I was ready to visit the other grave. The other person I’d lost that night.
Lorelai.