Chapter 42 STAY WITH ME FOR A WHILE

Chapter 42 STAY WITH ME FOR A WHILE
“Sorry, it’s a bit messy,” Xavier said, despite the fact that his place was always clean and smelled nice.

He opened the dorm door, letting Athena in first. She stepped inside slowly, her gaze sweeping over the neat room with a faint cinnamon scent from the diffuser by the window. Nothing had changed since she last left it, even the... glass she had drunk from—on the night of the dance—was still sitting by the bookshelf.

Xavier set his car keys on the small table by the door. He turned, noticing Athena’s slightly downcast expression. “Are you sure you don’t want to go home? I can drive you anytime.”

Athena sat on the edge of the bed, nuzzling the stiff sheets. She wanted to say that she had seen Brian and Auree, but she didn’t think it was necessary. “Do you mind? I won’t be long, tomorrow—”

Xavier kissed Athena’s cheek, making her stop talking. “You can stay here forever. Oh, no. I’ll buy a house, and we’ll live there together… later, after you’re sure you choose me over Brian.”

Silence. Xavier stared at the girl for a long time, then finally sat on the floor near her feet.

“Why don’t you want to go back to the apartment? Is there a problem?” Xavier asked softly. “If you don’t want to answer, it’s okay… I’m ready to listen to you anytime.”

Athena looked into the man’s eyes. “Brian said I should be honest with my feelings. But what’s the point of being honest… if the truth hurts everyone?”

Xavier moved a little closer. “It hurts, but it’s much more painful if you keep pretending.”

Athena looked away, her eyes starting to heat up. She took a breath, trying to stay calm, but inside her heart was a pile of various emotions. When she saw Brian earlier with Auree, there was an uncomfortable feeling that she herself couldn’t explain.

Not jealousy… just doubt, did the man really see her as Athena, or just… the same as the others? Maybe he would be the one to give her a bigger heartache.

Xavier's hand slowly touched the back of Athena's hand. "If tonight you just want to stay and sleep, that's okay. I'll sleep on the couch."

Athena nodded slowly, then took a deep breath and murmured, "I can stay the night, right? Just for a little while, don't think about anything."

Xavier was stunned for a moment, then nodded. "Of course, but I'll still sleep on the couch."

Athena looked at him. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

Xavier stood up slowly. "I'll stay here, in this chair, if that's enough."

Athena finally lay down on the bed, while Xavier sat on the chair beside her, holding the girl's hand which was still tightly in his embrace.

No words of love were spoken, but the silence of that night spoke volumes about unfinished feelings, about wounds that had not healed, and about two hearts that had almost united at that time.

Athena was restless, she stood up, then walked over to Xavier who was still sitting on the chair. She stopped right in front of him. Their gazes met, implying fatigue, longing, and unspoken pain.

“I can’t sleep,” Athena said, her face looking restless.

Without a word, Xavier slowly got up. He stood right in front of Athena, their distance was almost zero. His hand lifted, hesitated for a moment, then touched Athena’s cheek very slowly. As if afraid that the girl would run away from him.

“I want to hug you, Athena,” he said almost inaudibly.

Athena didn’t answer, but she stepped forward and leaned her head on Xavier’s chest.

The man immediately embraced Athena’s tiny body in his embrace—tightly, deeply, full of feelings that could never be written in words. His breath hitched every time he smelled the amber spicy scent that he always missed. His hug trembled slightly.

“I love you so much, Athena,” he murmured on Athena’s head. “You really make me want to die if I don’t see you for a day.”

Athena gripped his shirt tightly. “Don’t talk like that.”

Xavier bent down, kissed the top of Athena’s head gently and for quite a while, then he whispered, “I said what I felt.”

Athena lifted her face. Their eyes met again, this time closer. The distance between their breaths and heartbeats was so thin.

Xavier slid one hand to Athena's nape. Slowly he approached, but not in a hurry. His eyes sought permission in Athena's gaze—and when Athena didn't refuse, she only closed her eyes slowly.

Xavier kissed her cheek. Softly, greedily but not demanding, as if not letting any side of the skin of her cheek go untouched by his lips. Not a passionate kiss, but calming enough.

And when Athena opened her eyes again, tears were falling, but her smile was shy. "Enough, Xavier," she whispered.

Xavier wiped his cheeks. “I love you, Athena. I want to stay like this... for a long time.”

Again Athena did not answer, she slowly stepped back, pulling Xavier's hand to get on the bed. That night they slept together—not with passion, but with feeling. In that bed, Athena turned her back to Xavier, and Xavier hugged her from behind, his chin resting on the girl's head.

Xavier did not know how much time he still had with Athena. But seeing the anxiety she showed, he wanted the girl to know that she was not alone.

He fell silent. Athena turned around—facing him—her breath so close, warming his neck with a soft puff. The tiny body curled up spoiled in his embrace, her hands wrapped around his left chest—right above his pounding heartbeat.

"Athena...," he murmured softly.

The girl did not answer. Only regular breaths, her eyes closed. But Xavier knew, she was not asleep. The way her body tensed up a little, the way her lips occasionally moved as if holding back a smile... he knew.

“Are you pretending to be asleep?” Xavier whispered, but didn’t expect an answer.

Instead of moving away, Athena pulled herself closer. As if giving silent permission.

Xavier swallowed. His hand moved slowly, gently stroking Athena’s hair, tracing the fine strands as if carving them into memory. He kissed the girl’s forehead once more, then whispered something that made Athena’s heart beat silently.

“I miss you… every day and it’s getting worse.”

Athena didn’t answer, but her jaw clenched to hold something back.

Xavier lifted his body slightly, staring at Athena’s face that was pretending to be peaceful. He bent down, kissed Athena’s eyelids softly, then her cheek. His hand touched Athena’s cold fingers, holding them tightly.

“If this is just a dream, I will never want to wake up again. I want to be like this.”

There was still no response, but a small smile appeared on the corner of Athena’s lips. Xavier didn’t know, the girl’s heart was about to explode.

In the pain that had been held back for so long—even though Xavier's confession was not enough—but that night Athena was truly happy. Her love for this man could no longer be expressed in words. She also wanted to be like this... for a long time, until she was sure that Xavier was worthy of her.

Xavier chuckled softly, then hugged the girl tighter, his chin resting on Athena's head. He closed his eyes, trying to restrain himself and keep his promise.

"Go to sleep... but don't leave tomorrow morning, okay?" he whispered, barely audible. "Please... don't leave again, my love."