Chapter 77: Fake or Real?

Alicia

He looked down as I said that. I was scared and closed my eyes. I could still feel his gaze at me after a minute.

“Why?” His voice was bold.

My breath shattered as I thought of the answer.

Because I don’t love you? Ah… I don’t know his reaction. I can’t dig my own grave. I just shouldn’t.

But there is no other reason. I don’t wanna give him any hope. I don’t want him to think that there is any hope because I know now. I know Alistair is the one I want. And even if I can’t have him, that just doesn’t change a thing.

I don’t care if you gave up on me, Alistair. I will never give up on us because I know what you mean to me.

However, I don’t know what I mean to you.

“Tell me” there was a little anger in his voice that made me scared to the point that I got up. I looked at him and he was just looking down now.

I was scared and I moved a little back. I was breathing heavily.

“A-Asher, calm down”

“Three seconds, tell me”

“I-I am unsure of my feelings and I want time--”

He stood up and grabbed my hand by my wrist harshly. I looked at him scared. “Asher--”

“Well, you made a big mistake by telling this to me!”

“A-Asher--”

“What? You think I love you?”

I looked at him and suddenly my sadness and my fear changed into anger. I don’t know why I was angry even after I had expected it. So he was playing me. I don’t feel guilty anymore. I feel like I am the karma and I have to punish him.

“Great,” I said and got out of his hold. Fortunately and unexpectedly, I was strong enough to get out of his grip.

I started going out but he caught my hand and pulled me close. We were really close and he looked in my eyes.

“Let me out!” I acted strong but I was dead scared. Even with my anger, I just can’t win over him. He is definitely stronger.

“Never”

“What?”

He kissed me and I closed my eyes. No, I wasn’t enjoying it. Rather, I couldn’t believe that he was kissing me forcefully. Is this sexual assault?

He kissed me for some time and got away.

“One day you will kiss me back” he whispered.

“That day will never come”

“That day is tomorrow, if you don’t wanna create a scene”

“We are not getting marr--”

The doorbell rang and I sighed. Can’t they just delay the services? I mean, what is the use of such fast services?

“Open it”

I scoffed. Can’t he open the door himself? I went and opened the door. The person kept the food on the table and went out. I was closing the door when he came from behind and turned me around.

He pushed me across the door and I looked at him as he looked at my lips. Not again.

“Asher, get away” I whispered. He came close to my ears.

“We are getting married tomorrow, baby”

I couldn’t speak anything, it was already a very great thing that I was actually alive and breathing nicely and normally.

I looked at him scared in the same manner and he smirked at me. He knew how scared I was and what effect he was having on me. I hated it because I should not be afraid of him like this. But I can’t do anything even if I wanted to. He is stronger.

“We are not getting married!” I finally said with more courage. I thought he would get angry but he laughed.

“Keep dreaming”

I looked at him and he got away. “Eat the dinner”

I scoffed and went to the bed. “If you don’t eat dinner, it is gonna be a problem”

“What’s your problem? You don’t care if I die hungry anyway” I scoffed. Like that doesn’t even make any sense.

“Who said that to you baby?” he smirked.

“What?”

“I will take care of you, after all I got plans” he smirked more and my heartbeat raced more. Plans? What plans?

“What plans?” I asked him.

“You really think I am gonna tell you?” he sighed. “Are you really this dumb or are you trying hard today”

I made a face and stood up. “Whatever”

I sat down around the table and distributed the dinner in two parts. I gave him one and started eating the other.

I knew maybe he was lying but I just don’t know what I will do now. I don’t think running away is an option. I have ran away all my life from things. But I know now. Instead of running away, we should face them.

But how do I face this?

“The dinner is delicious, isn’t it?” he asked.

“Y-yes”

I didn’t know why I stuttered when I have been so confident and brave till now. I just want this all to end but he wants to start all this mess. I mean, it is for revenge, isn’t it? But why? I mean, okay I made a mistake.

Can’t he just let it go? I realised my mistake! That should be enough.

“You know what, Alicia?” I heard him. I looked at him.

“Hm?”

“You are good. You really are and I would have never thought of hurting you. Never. But you betrayed me”

“I have already told you everything. You know why I did it. Every single thing”

“I do”

“Then just, you know, understand it” I tried to make things better. It would be so good only if he understands it. I wanted good for him and that’s why I left him then.

“I don’t”

I sighed. He will never understand it and I can never stop him. I don’t know what I can do.

“Can you not understand it or you don’t want to?”

“Both” he looked at his food. “Now eat”

I sighed and nodded. That sigh was weird. I knew I was afraid. I was sad too. I was literally everything apart from positive emotions.

I was angry, anxious, scared, crazy and whatnot. But only if that could help me right now.

I ate the food and he ate it too. The waiter came and took it. Whoever he was. I went to the couch and laid down.

“You will sleep with me”

I ignored him and was about to sleep when the doorbell rang. Who could it be?