#102 The wrong decision

The two wolves by my side exchange a look, and I can feel their hesitation. I take a deep breath, and nod.

"It's really alright, I promise. You two go back. There's no more danger now, nothing I can't handle alone. Go back to your mates, and everyone. They need you."

*...We need you too,* whispers Nora. *You have to come back, Mara.*

"I know. It's okay."

*We're serious,* growls Selena. *You'd better bring your ass back as soon as you can. We do need you, and I don't want to lose anyone else today.*

"I promise I'll do all I can to come back... As soon as possible," I add as soon as she growls again.

I hear them sigh in my head, but I try to stay reassuring. I'm tired, but... at least, I feel like the final fight is over. This is... just part of the aftermath. We did it. Now, it's only up to me to get to the bottom of things, and prevent it from ever happening again. Nora and Selena were a huge help, and I wouldn't have gone that far or even survived if it wasn't for them, but... this confrontation between Luna and I doesn't need to involve them. This is my cross to carry, and they don't need to bear that burden with me. I know they want to go back to their mates, and they deserve to. I turn back to Luna, still crouching in the snow blanket.

"Send them back. Please," I insist.

I may sound polite, but I make sure my voice makes it clear enough. She growls a bit, but, soon, the snow under Selena and Nora begins moving. They get in a defensive position, but I can see them being pushed away, gently blown back into the real word. They disappear slowly, as if an eerie blizzard had taken over the spot they were standing in, and the last thing I see are two pairs of glowing eyes, one blue and the other golden.

I wait until they are fully gone, and I look inside for them... My inner wolf easily reaches out to those soulmates of ours. I smile, feeling how relieved they both are feeling right now. They definitely got back to their mates. A knot comes back in my throat, and my heart suddenly feels a lot heavier, just as I am reminded I lost mine. I take a deep breath, but a couple of tears still come out. Liam... I'll end this for you, Babe.

"...It's just the two of us now," I tell Luna.

*Indeed... The crazy ones.*

"The werewolf witches," I chuckle. "You must have seen many of our kind in here."

I look around, in this strangely vivid memory frozen in time. Luna slowly gets up, but stays at a reasonable distance from me. I can feel her suspicion, her doubts. It's strange. Now I can... feel her, a bit. It's not as crystal clear as when I try to communicate with my pack, but there's definitely something familiar about it. She has a heart like Nora, or Selena's. Something that shines brightly, vividly, but with a heaviness to it. The heaviness of her past.

*There weren't that many,* she retorts in a cold tone. *Not even ten... Our kind is too rare, and the Curse took care of those who did live.*

"Like Clarissa, and little Mara. But I was created by the same Black Magic, so it couldn't kill me, right? The Curse tried to get into my mind, but I was different from them all."

*Of course you are. You were created by dark magic, yet also imbued with white one by your link to the Royals. There's something special about your existence... and your bond too.*

Again, that knot that chokes me up. I take a deep breath, trying to control it.

Destiny or the Moon Goddess probably didn't pair all three of us with the Black Brothers by some haphazard mistake... No, it feels like something bigger was at stake, like the wheels of fate making sure every piece falls into the right spot. I take another deep breath, and turn to the grave. ...I still see Liam's name, and it's painful as hell.

"...Tell me what happened, Luna."

She finally moves. Her paws silently dive into the snow as she walks up to the grave. She suddenly rubs her head against it, in a very canine-like way. I hear a faint whimper.

*I missed him so much... I would have given almost everything to bring him back. Perhaps a part of my wolf self had already known he was gone, but... Every day I spent with Luna, I felt him grow a bit further. As if she was telling me.*

"...Did you ever know how he died?"

*Luna said it was the humans... Perhaps it was also the wolves. By trading half of his wolfhood with the witch, my mate had become a stranger to his own kind. He wanted to become stronger, for the packs, but... He lost them. He lost their trust, and he couldn't get the humans' either. Luna was too different from mankind.*

"They hated witches."

*She hated humans just as much,* scoffed Luna. *She didn't just choose to live alone, she had no choice. She... scared them. She probably would have scared a wolf too, if she hadn't been so close to nature itself.*

"But you befriended her."

*She befriended me. Luna wanted a companion, after she had lost my mate, I probably came at the right time... She introduced me to her world, and began thinking that, with my blood as a pure werewolf and magic, we could do the impossible together...*

"Bring him back."

Luna suddenly growled, and stepped away from the stone, almost as if she was wary of it, or... scared.

*She didn't bother to tell me the specifics, she... knew it was something forbidden by the laws of magic. She... didn't know what she was doing.*

"Was the spell too powerful for her?" I ask.

*Oh, no, the spell itself would have worked... if it hadn't included a clueless, eager wolf.*

I frown. Luna is the one who caused the necromancy spell to... fail? I swallow my saliva. I feel like I'm standing in a sacred place hiding some terrible events. Actually, the whole place has suddenly taken a much more sinister look. Luna keeps moving away, and she's now slowly walking towards the house. Once again, the completely still state of our environment is disturbing. The snow under my feet makes no noise, I step on it as if it was a stable, thick ground. The trees, wind and anything around is completely quiet...

Luna stops a few steps away from the house, and I know where we are. This is where the spell was happening, right before I got out of that memory. This is where the two Lunas stood, above a magic circle. That thing is still carved in the ground, like a traumatic burn. Luna walks up to that thing, but she's careful not to step inside. She stops just a couple inches away from the border. Now that everything is much clearer and I'm using my own mind and eyes, I observe that thing with a strange feeling. It does feel very ominous...

*When I understood what Luna had tried to do... When I saw the grave, it hit me. On that stone was the name she had given my mate. He was the only male she had ever cared about, her first companion, just like he had been mine. I understood what she was doing, what we... were about to achieve. I'm not sure how long I stayed there, while the truth hit me violently. I just remember running back, and yelling at her to start over. What I didn't know back then was that she had already used too much of her own energy in the first attempt.*

I can imagine.

If Luna was on her own guiding the spell and using the she-wolf as a... battery, it must have asked a crazy amount of focus from her. Moreover, she did it using her own life force. She was a good witch, a witch that used only light magic, not a dark one. Which meant she used her own life force to try and bring him back. I can't even fathom how hard it must have been for her. Not just hard... she had to give up her own life-force. How much of one's life was to be given to bring another one back from the dead? That's... frightening.

*I insisted we try again,* whispered Luna. *Once I understood she was trying to bring my mate back, I became obsessed with it. I didn't care about anything else... about her. I'm still sure she was involved in his death. At the time, that was a good enough excuse to ease my conscience into using her.*

"...So you resumed the necromancy spell?"

Luna slowly lowered her head, her blue eyes on the lines of the circle.

*...We did. This time, I was fully involved in it, and... blinded. So blind, I focused on the magic, without realizing what I was doing to Luna. She had been the one to drive the spell, pour her life force into it. Now, I was dragging it from her, more and more, desperately.*

Her voice breaks on those last words. I feel... a bottomless sadness about her. She whimpers, and slowly crouches down on the circle. She looks at the other end of it, as if she was seeing something there, or someone. I feel her sadness melting with mine, adding to it like another weight on my heart.

*...She didn't tell me,* muttered Luna. *I kept going like a mad wolf, and she didn't tell me she was dying, or that I was using black magic without knowing. I just chose to save my mate, and disregard anything else. No matter the price, I couldn't let go... I couldn't do what you did.*

I try to take it all in. All her sadness, but also the heavy truth behind this tragedy. Luna and I are different in one thing... She had no one else. For me, I could stop because there were Nora and Selena, Ben and Kelsi, and everyone else in Silver City. I could hold on to the fact that, even if... I lost Liam, I wouldn't be completely alone. I wouldn't be the only one to remember him, and I would be able to share my pain and that burden with someone.

Luna had no one like that, but the same witch who had taken her mate from her. Actually, they both were. They had each other, but they could only hold on to the man they had both loved, and were desperate to bring back. They couldn't trust each other enough to know they'd be there to support the other. They were desperate to regain the one they thought would be there...

"I would have been scared too," I mutter.

*Then why aren't you?* She suddenly growls and turns around. *You didn't hesitate to give away a chance to be with your mate, and instead...*

"I did hesitate!" I growl back. "This was perhaps the hardest choice I've ever made in my life!"

*Then how!*

"Because I'm not scared to be alone," I suddenly drop.

I just realize that now. I scoff as it suddenly hits me, and shake my head, a bitter smile on my lips.

"You weren't... scared to lose your mate, Luna. You had already lost him. You were just... scared to be alone. Just like why you went to that witch, in the first place. You couldn't stay alone, so you went to the only person that was probably lonelier than you."

*No, you don't know what you're talking about,* she growls.

"Oh no, I'm just understanding now," I retort, turning around.

I walk back to the cabin, and push the door to get in. It all stayed exactly the same as in my memory, except that now, I'm seeing things from a human's height. It's still all the same. There are no smells, but... It's the same bed, the same table and the same stool. All for one person. One bowl, one... spoon, one meal that seemed to be cooking in the little chimney. There isn't even a space for another human in there... I shake my head, and hear Luna barging in behind me.

"You were both frightened," I continue, looking around. "You were both terrified at the idea that you'd be alone again, after you had experienced being with your mate. You didn't want to go back to your children by fear their pack would reject you, so you went to the only woman who could understand you, and was as lonely as you were."

*What?*

"The Curse didn't originate from a mistake in the spell," I declare, turning to her. "That spell was perfect, it was working. Even if you turned it to Black Magic, you could have emptied all of Luna's strength and brought your mate back. But it failed. And instead, you got trapped in it. You don't know how Luna died, do you? You're not even sure how your mate died, and you didn't know how that spell ended either!"

*No! I...*

"You weren't just the creator of the Curse, Luna," I said, stepping closer to her again. "You were also it's first victim. Your dark magic realized how scared you were to be lonely, abandoned again and fed on it. It pushed you to be alone again, and hate the only friend you ever had. It made you lonelier than ever, and yet constantly looking for a new host to experience your loneliness again. That's why it poisoned the minds of witches, forcing them to be alone again each time they had found a mate. Nephera ran from her second chance mate, although she was pregnant with his baby. Clarissa's mother was alone with her child too. All those women ended up alone because the Curse pushed them to leave, somehow."

*Enough!* She growls. *You're not making any sense! I killed Luna who tried to use me! I created the Curse with my dark magic!*

"...I don't believe you killed Luna," I mutter, turning around to look at the room. "I think you're the one who died trying to bring your mate back, and you didn't want to face the truth because you would have had to face your greatest fear to end that Curse. Embrace the loneliness, and renounce your mate forever. That's why you endured all those years, and survived through the Curse rather than to give up. It's like a... cursed loop. Making the wrong choice, over and over again, until someone could stop you. Until someone like me came along. Same story, same kind, and I was given the same choice. I can stop you because I'm not scared to be lonely, Luna."

*No, no, no. She died. The witch died when we created that Curse! Otherwise, why wouldn't she have stopped me!*

"She couldn't," I shake my head. "I think... The Curse you were trapped in was too strong for her to handle. She knew she didn't have the strength, as you took most of her life force. Moreover, it would have meant giving up on you forever... If I had been her, I wouldn't have wanted to make the same mistake twice."

I keep looking around the room, and I know what is missing. There's no witch tree here... Perhaps it didn't exist back then, or perhaps Luna herself invented it for the next generations to keep track. I chuckle, as the truth suddenly comes to me, so easily it's almost risible.

"She had children," I say. "I saw the witches' tree, and... Luna, the first witch, she had children. Back then I wondered which one of you the tree was referring to, but if it had been you, Selena and Nora, and their grandmother would have been on there. No, it was her, and she definitely had descendants, like Nephera. No, she lived. Luna lived, and she couldn't stop you, so... she did the next best thing she could. She made sure no one could ever use that spell again. I understand why there's only one Curse now. Your friend Luna was the one who made sure no other witch could go through the same thing as you did..."

*Wh... How?* She gasps.

"...She made sure there would be no more witches with three elements. She split them into a cycle. In that tree, all witches had one element starting from a certain point, but there was none under the oldest witches' names. Now I know why, I think. Perhaps until someone would be strong enough to have all three again... or enough witches would come together against that Curse."

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*Author Note: Thank you for reading! After a computer crash and major headache, we're getting back on track! Thank you for your patience, looking forward to your comments! ^-^*