Chapter 44 Before I Turned Away

Chapter 44 Before I Turned Away

Wren Pov

Cole’s hand stayed in the air for a second too long. It was just there suspended between us.
Everything felt so awkward and without even thinking much I stepped back.

His fingers curled slightly but his hand remained like that for a while but I had already created space between us.
His gaze shifted from my face to the space between us and back again.

“I wasn’t…” he started but then stopped. I didn't want to hear that right now.
There was a brief silence except for the dryer that hummed behind me
“I wasn’t trying to…” he tried again but I shook my head.

“Don’t.” I said in a tone that came out softer than I meant it to.
He swallowed and his hand dropped to his side.

“I know, you don’t have to explain.” I said quickly, waving my hand.
“That’s not…” He exhaled, frustrated, dragging a hand through his hair. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
I didn’t answer because I already knew what this was. Guilt.

That was what it was.

“I heard what she said,” I added, because the silence was getting too heavy. “Jade. I heard enough.”
His jaw tightened slightly. “Then you know…”

“I know this isn’t my business,” I cut in, waving my hands as I stopped him completely.
“It became your business when she showed up here with a folder about you,” he said.

“That doesn’t mean you have to fix it.”
“I’m not trying to fix it.”
“Then what are you trying to do?” I looked at him harder.

He didn’t answer right away. His eyes stayed on mine, steady in a way that made it hard to look anywhere else.
“I’m trying to tell you it’s not what you think,” he said finally.

Hearing that I let out a small chuckle. It was something between a laugh and nothing at all.
“It always is,” I said.

His brows pulled together slightly. “What does that mean?”
“It means..” I stopped, pressing my lips together for a second before starting again. “It means people don’t suddenly change for no reason.”

“I didn’t suddenly change.”
“You did,” I said, meeting his eyes properly now. “At school, you…” I gestured vaguely, like I could point to all of it at once. “And here you’re… this.”

“What?”
I didn’t have a word for it so I just shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does.” He stepped forward.

“No, it doesn’t,” I said, more firmly this time. “Because whatever this is…” I motioned between us, quick, like touching it too long would make it real “It’s not real outside this house.”

Something in his face shifted. Although it was subtle, it was noticeable.
“That’s not true.” He shook his head as he closed the gap between us
“It is,” I nod my head as I look up at him.

I held his gaze because looking away would make it easier to lie to myself, and I wasn’t doing that tonight.
“At school, I’m still… me,” I said. “And you’re still you.”
He didn’t argue with that. That was the worst part.

“I don’t need you to—” I paused, searching for the right word and hating all of them. “—step in. Or defend me. Or explain things to me after.”

“I wasn’t explaining things to you,” he said, quieter now. “I was trying to—”
“Make yourself feel better?” I offered.

His head snapped slightly, like the words hit harder than I expected.
“That’s not fair.”

“Maybe not,” I said. “But it’s easier.”
“Easier for who?”
“For me.”

The room went still again.
I could feel it then. The edge of something I didn’t want to get close to. The part where this turned into something else. Something complicated. Something I wouldn’t be able to walk away from easily.

So I stepped back again.
Not physically this time. Just enough.

“You don’t owe me anything, Cole,” I said. “Not an explanation. Not… whatever this is.”
His jaw tightened. “You keep saying that like I’m doing you a favor.”
“Aren’t you?”

“No.”
The word came out fast. Immediate.
Like he didn’t even have to think about it.
I blinked.

He took a small step forward, then stopped himself halfway, like he remembered what happened the last time he moved too close.
“I’m not doing you a favor,” he said again, more controlled this time. “And I’m not—” He exhaled sharply. “This isn’t about feeling bad.”

“Then what is it about?”
He hesitated.
And that was it.
That half-second pause.
That was all it took.

I nodded once, like he had answered me anyway.
“Right,” I said quietly.
“That’s not…”

“It’s fine,” I cut in. “You don’t have to figure it out for me.”
“I’m not figuring it out for you.”
“Then don’t,” I said.
Silence.

The dryer clicked as it shifted cycles, the sound loud in the small space.
I moved past him to the door before I could think about it too much.
“Actually I should…” I gestured toward the hallway. “I have homework.”
It was a lie. But it was a good enough one.

“Wren.”
I stopped.

Not because I wanted to. Because my name sounded different when he said it like that.
I didn’t turn around.
“It’s not what you think it is,” he said.

There was something in his voice this time. It was not frustration or guilt.
I tightened my grip on the door handle.
“I know,” I said.

It wasn’t true but it was easier than asking what it actually was.
I opened the door and shut it behind me then I quickly walked through the hallway.

I didn’t look back, I just wanted to get back to my room. I walked to my room, closed the door behind me.
Then I leaned against it for a while. I looked up at the ceiling and my chest felt tight.

I tried to steady my breathing but my chest kept beating rapidly not out of panic before but it was something I couldn't place my hand around.
Suddenly someone knocked on the door.