Chapter Thirty-three

Gwen felt her heart sink from the mere image of her friend drowning in sadness as she cried on the bed, stuffing her face in a bowl of ice cream. It had been five days since she split up with her boyfriend and her condition wasn't pleasing to the eyes. Armani never said why he broke up with her, all her lips could mutter were, "he broke up with me," whenever Gwen asked for reasons.

"Armani..." Gwen cried out, resting her hands on her hips as she knelt on the bed. "You have to get up, I left you in this condition this morning before leaving for work and I came back to meet you like this."

Armani grunted in response as she took a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth, not minding if she had brain freeze or not.

"I'm with a man who doesn't see me in his future, we've not spoken to each other for five days but I'm not brooding and killing myself with sugar like this," Gwen complained, frustration knitted in her tone as she tried to snatch the bowl away, but Marni slapped her arms away with a scowl.

"Yours wasn't a breakup, Gwen." Armani's lips wobbled. "From what you explained yesterday, he didn't say he saw no future with you."

"Okay, fine. But I'm not doing this." Gwen pointed at her and sat on the bed, feeling a little irked. "Get up, there are many fishes in the sea, baby," Wendy stated a fact, rubbing at her leg. "Look, I'm not killing myself."

"Stop being petty, Gwen. Yours wasn't a breakup."

"He doesn't see me in his future, don't you get it?" Gwen plopped on the bed and Marni snorted.

"Stop being dramatic." Her voice had no difference from that of a frog and Gwen would have laughed if she wasn't lying about being happy.

Gwen was a miserable gut. She hadn't spoken to Mihai since five days ago and she didn't want to bring her pride down to apologize for overreacting.

"Stop being secretive and tell me what happened." Gwen retorted.

"Can you be sensitive?" Armani rasped, wiping her nose with a napkin. "After having sex with me-" Armani became breathless and she hung back, taking deep breaths in as her eyes brimmed with a hurt that threatened to tail down her cheek. "He-" she sobbed, shuddering as she swallowed hard and Gwen felt a wave of sadness, hitting her like a brick. "-he-he broke up with me."

Armani let the tears roam freely down her cheeks as her chest heaved.

"I feel foolish. He said he didn't want to hurt his girlfriend." She explained further and Gwen paid attention to every detail, never asking her to stop the tears. "He had somebody else and didn't consider her feeling till he slept with me."

"Did you know he had a girlfriend?" Gwen asked softly, pity flashing in her eyes as she finally took the bowl away and sat it on the bedside table.

"N-no." Armani stuttered, taking a shaky breath in and Gwen felt bad for the way she spoke to her earlier.

"I'm so sorry." Gwen hugged Armani, letting her head rest on her bosoms.

"He played me." Gwen sobbed. "After getting what he wanted he trashed me like a used car, after all he told me."

Gwen's eyes watered and she bit her lip, refraining from joining her friend–she needed to be strong for them. Slowly, anger stung her heart and spread like venom into her entire body. The heavier Marni's head became on her chest, the angrier she got when she pieced everything together in her head.

"Men are bastards!" Gwen exclaimed, becoming breathless herself as memories of her past relationship flashed in her head. "Bastards!" She screamed again, remembering when the guy before her ex used to abuse her emotionally, telling her of how she was a good-for-nothing who could only be adhesive like a cat.

She tightened her grip around Armani, and they cried like babies as driblets of tears rolled down their skins.

His ebony black curls bounced on his head as he yelled, earning visible red veins that mirrored the crooked roots of a plant and her heart pounded in horror when his fist almost brushed her face. Tears rolled down her cheeks, gliding into her mouth and she swallowed hard, the salty taste of her sadness lingered on her tongue before she gulped down again.

"Clingy thing!" His jaw ticked and his crooked nose blazed. "I wonder why I asked you out. All you're good at is shedding tears of pretense."

"I'm sorry." Gwen sobbed, hiding behind a couch.

"Beauty is all you got and maybe you're good in bed and then at that stinky ass job of yours." He spat, chest heaving as he burnt the couch with his gaze. "Now answer me, who were you sharing laughs with earlier?"

"My boss and it was just a silly joke he cracked." Gwen croaked, sniffling.

"Useless thing!"

"I'm not useless!" Gwen yelled out of her trance and shivered as the memory did more harm than good. It rose her temperature and made her skin red.

"Gwen, are you okay?" Armani jolted, cupping Gwen's cheeks and pulling her in for a hug.

"I'm not useless, it's not my fault I'm clingy, I didn't-"

"Shh..." Armani hushed, cradling her friend as her tears ran endlessly out of her eyes. "I'm here for you."

They got under the duvet and in no time, they slept, hugging each other like they were all they had in the entire world.

*****

Gwen couldn't get any good sleep; Mihai was all that rang in her head. What if Marni was right? Gwen shook her head; she couldn't be wrong... The world knew she hated being wrong and she sometimes had the fear of perfection.

She tossed and turned, grunting at how uncomfortable the bed felt. Her eyes traced the ray of light that snuck into her darkroom from a little open space in the window and the heavy feeling in her joints intensified, it was enough to bring a person down to apt depression. She soughed and turned to the other side, shutting her eyes tight and begging sleep to meander its way to her. Gwen kicked the blanket away and picked up her phone, scrolling through her contacts for none other than Mihai. She hated the feeling that lived rent-free in her heart, causing her stomach to twist itself into messes. She dialed his number but had a second thought and ended it before it could ring.

"Why is this happening?" Gwen whined, lying face flat on the bed and feeling worse than she did the previous day.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on her sitting-room door that made the hair on her nape stand at attention. She jolted, frowning for a bit, trying to rack her brain for the person at the door might be. Glancing at the digital clock, it was past ten and too late for a person to roam around the streets.

"Unless..." She trailed off, hope springing up in her then she quickly shoved her feet into her flip-flops and hurried to the door. "Who is there?"

"Regina." His voice sent tingles down her spine, earning an involuntary twitch of the edges of her mouth into a radiant smile.

"Mihai," she whispered, pulling the door open and glancing at the floor since she couldn't bring herself to look him in those hypnotic eyes he possessed.

"Can I-"

"Sure, come in." Gwen moved aside, inviting Mihai into her home and shutting the door after he strode in. "I'm sorry for being overdramatic and petty at the park, I didn't mean to be clingy, it just-"

Suddenly, Mihai slammed his lips on that of Gwen, claiming them like an alpha marking territory on his mate. His lips sandwiched hers and he grabbed her neck before trailing his hands down her waist, wrapping his arms around her thin waist. Gwen parted her lips and welcomed his tongue as it danced around her teeth and finally greeted hers. She sucked on it, swallowing down his saliva and taste of black coffee.

Slowly, he pulled away from the kiss and leaned his forehead on hers as they stared into the depths of their eyes, reading each other's souls. Her chest heaved as she breathed out from her mouth, returning the soft smile that he flashed at her.

"I missed you." He removed a hand from her waist and cupped her cheek, caressing it with his thumb as a flicker of apology glinted in his globes.

"Me too," she said, leaning into his palm and receiving a wet kiss on her forehead. "I'm sorry for calling you clingy."

She stilled for a second when the last statement brought about painful memories of her previous relationship.

"I love you just the way you are, but could you tone it down a little?" He pulled her, closing the space between them and her core twitched at the contact of his boner.

"I'll-I'll try." She stammered, blinking her gaze away from his. "Can we talk?"

"Sure."

"Are you okay with this position?" She inquired and he nodded.

"Okay," Gwen sucked in a sharp breath and rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "Why don't you love kids?"

"I love kids." His voice vibrated underneath her head as she felt his muscles spasm and she bandaged his waist with her hands, interlocking her fingers. "I plan to have two, maximum three. The fourth would be a mistake." He chuckled lightly and Gwen joined him, feeling safe in his arms. The laughter died down and they stood in silence, letting it sink in before Gwen broke it.

"Why-" she paused for a minute and chewed on her bottom lip as she released her fingers and was beginning to feel tired from standing. "-why are we dating?"

"Because I love you." He kissed her hair, his sonorous voice, keeping her in a relaxed state.

"Is there a reason for this relationship?" She asked again, feeling his body stiffen as his steady heartbeat gradually picked up its pace and his grip around her loosened for a bit. "Is there an end goal, like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?"

"Yes," he sounded a little timid, but he rid his throat of the uneasiness, pulling on his regalia of confidence as he spoke again, "Yes, to be with you forever. Aren't your legs sore?"

"Why don't you like the idea of marriage?" Gwen ignored his question, propping her jaw on his chest to catch sight of his face.

"Hmm," he rasped and avoided her gaze, chewing on his bottom lip a little too hard that the metallic taste of his blood strolled down his tongue. "Regina... Can't we just date, live with each other, and have kids?" His eyes wavered and his pupils increased in size as he stared down at her.

"Why?" She frowned, arching her cheek in confusion. "Marriage is beautiful."

Mihai withdrew from her hold, and she could see horror, flashing in his eyes as he gulped and ran his fingers in his hair.

"You don't get it. I-"

"Don't love me enough to get married to me?" Gwen completed his sentence, getting riled up as she sized him up and tightened the bottle cap of her emotions. "Then why the heck are we dating if you don't see a future with me?"

"Calm down, it's not that." Mihai gripped her palms and squeezed them lightly, holding her teary gaze. "You wouldn't understand."

"Talk to me." She cupped his cheek and he leaned in, basking in the warmth of her palms before shutting his eyes tight. "What is it?"

"I don't want to get married; I can't promise you marriage and fail you later." He muttered and she shuddered, feeling a prick in her heart as she jolted backward, disappointment camping on her face.

"Fail me later?" She repeated, hating the sour taste of these words. "Fail?"

"I'm too much for you to handle, I can't watch you-" he paused mid-sentence and Gwen watched all the life disappear from his face as he paled with fallen shoulders. "Die..." He muttered with glossy eyes. "Die of my inconsistency."

"We can work things out, you'll make a good husband, I'll be understanding, I wouldn't-"

"Isn't too early to be talking about marriage, are you that desperate?"

Gwen gasped, widening her eyes as her chest constricted, squeezing her heart and causing blood of hurt to flow into her veins. Slowly, she gripped her chest and staggered back, stopping when she hit her legs against the arms of her couch. At that moment, he scarred her heart, and the only thing that rang in her ears were his last words and the thumping of her broken heart.

"I'm desperate?" She blinked rapidly, pointing at her chest.

"No." His facial expression softened, and regret hugged him. "I didn't mean it."

"Do you-" she sucked in a shaky breath, shuddering as her chest heaved and the walls of her throat dried up like the Sahara desert. "-know how many times you've hurt me?"

She moved slowly towards him, repeatedly poking at his chest as the tears cascaded down her cheeks.

"Do you know how many men have hurt me emotionally, physically, and mentally?!" She shivered, struggling to breathe as it felt like her windpipes were closing up and giving up on her. "Why?!"

"I'm sorry." Mihai hugged her and she struggled, wiggling like a worm in a bid to free herself but he was too strong. "I didn't mean to."

"Let go of me!" She screamed, throwing her fists and hitting his face a couple of times. "What did I do to you?!"

"Nothing, I'm only trying to protect you." He responded, letting go of her fragile frame. Her rising and falling chest felt heavy and she struggled to stay sane. "I can't keep hurting you, it kills me."

Gwen swelled up with emotions as she gripped her chest, hoping it'd stop the pain that lived rent-free in her heart.

"I'm sorry." He shook visibly and for the first time, she saw a ball of a tear slide down his face before he turned his back on her and retreated but stopped in his tracks to glance over his shoulder and said, "I can't stop hurting you."

He continued to walk away, leaving Gwen no choice but to watch his retreating figure. Her throat was clogged, and no words could come out of it, her stomach tied itself into knots and nausea kicked in. Mihai stepped out, turning one last time to look at her apologetically before banging the door shut and leaving her to brood alone.

Slowly, she fell to the ground and cried, feeling like a grand piano had been placed on her chest. Wendy felt the four walls closing in on her and she screamed, screamed till she lost her voice, cried till her tears stopped, prompting her to lay lifelessly on the floor.