Chapter 41 The Things She Made Me Do
I restrained myself, pressing my back hard against the car seat as if it could keep me away from her. As if it could quell the violent hunger I had for her.
Why was she sitting so close to me? And comfortably too.
So relaxed, while I had to hold my demons on leashes, pulling them back from roaring, grabbing, swallowing her whole.
I couldn’t wait for the day I didn’t have to hold back—when I didn’t have to second-guess myself. It wasn’t in my nature to withdraw, to wait, to be permitted. And yet, there I sat, watching her.
Absolutely enthralled with the little creature before me. I had no words at the moment—or strength, if I was being honest—not to mention my shoulder, even though it had calmed to a dull ache.
“What are you thinking?” Cee said, her voice dropping an octave lower.
I could write a full thesis on the effect of her voice. Her tongue rolling against perfectly white teeth to create sound felt like a skill only she possessed.
The sounds weren’t just sounds at all. She made mere vowels and consonants ring like shaman bells in deep deserted forests, calling forth my very life force, reeling me closer like a ritual. Trapping me in enchantments. Holding me hostage.
Like an exorcism—forcing the demons within me out of the deep, dark crevices of my being and injecting me with fierce need for her.
“Nothing,” I replied after reeling back my deviating thoughts.
“I call bullshit. You look like you’ve thought up a whole universe. There’s no way it’s just nothing.”
I focused on the meaning of her words this time, not their effect on me. I had to repeat them twice in my head before they landed.
“Later. I’ll tell you later.”
“Alright then. I’ll let it go—and then I’ll pick up on working on your shoulder.”
I almost groaned.
“No. No. Don’t do that.” She wasn’t letting go of the blasted shoulder talk.
“I can see your face. You’re not very sleek with hiding, you know,” Celene said with a chuckle.
“That’s because you’re looking at my face, love,” I answered as another realization dawned on me.
She was staring straight at me. Not being coy, not hiding behind her hair like other women. She didn’t see me as a threat or find my gaze infringing.
Cee squinted and moved even closer, almost crossing the middle of the car.
“You sound like it’s a weird thing to do. Do you find my gaze… intimidating?” She puffed her shoulders, trying to look fierce.
I laughed.
The idea that her gaze could intimidate anyone was ridiculous. She was as dangerous as a kitten drenched in bathwater. Like Mufasa thinking his roar was anything but a squeak to a pack of hyenas.
“Yes, love. You’re very scary.”
“See? I knew I had a tough face.”
I held back a full guffaw, settling for a chuckle to release the pressure. Any other man would’ve had tears in his eyes. From the look she gave me, she knew I was trying not to laugh. I knew better than to laugh outright. Kitten or not, she could still scratch until she drew blood.
My feisty Celene.
“Haha. Very funny,” she muttered.
I was about to reply when the loud sound of the church bell rang in the distance. The children immediately began rounding up, reverend sisters cleaning after them and taking head counts.
“Oh shoot! It’s time for evening mass. They hold one in honor of my mother every year. I guess you’ll be joining, yes?”
I wanted to say no. I needed to refuse. I’d never been religious.
In fact, I’d only entered a church once... because a fool thought hiding behind a crucifix would save him. It hadn’t. The soaked, bloody crucifix and pews were proof enough.
I’d never worried what God thought of that display. I’d known I wouldn’t be back to hear it. But now...
“You planned to feed the children and just leave?”
“No, I’m... I’ll just come in then.”
I didn’t even get the chance to take it back. Cee was already out of the car, rushing to my side and opening the door.
“Just come in. If you don’t like it, it’s fine. You can leave then, Mr obsessed with a season character. What’s with that anyway?”
She turned and walked off like she hadn’t just cornered me completely.
I straightened my clothes and followed.
It was going to be torture. I knew it before I stepped inside.
I stopped at the edge near the door and settled into the last pew. Not because I’d bolt—but because it felt safer. Less intrusive. Someone like me wasn’t meant to be there.
But I stayed. Till the very end. For her.
If anything dangerous happened, I knew I’d be running deeper into the church toward Celene without hesitation.
Cee joined the hymns while I stood there, glaring at any reverend sister or child that came too close.
Fucking hell...the things she made me do.