Chapter 29 His Blood Moon
Kian would destroy and burn down the world just so Raina wouldn’t hurt. He was in mid conversation with Jayce and Ridley when he felt this enormous pain slam straight into his chest then created fissures through his body. His breath caught as his body lurched forward in his chair. His hand already reaching for his chest as his mind and heartrate raced.
Jayce asked him what was wrong.
Kian murmured one name as if by instinct before his body leaped into action instinctively searching out Raina. He didn’t care how this would look to them. He didn’t care if he revealed his greatest weakness was her, because everything screamed inside him that something was wrong and his mate was in devastating pain.
When he found her by his personal office in his suite, he knew he was right. Her body radiated deep pain and trauma. Her eyes bled her fear, but she refused to speak of it. He couldn’t refuse her when she begged him to take her to bed.
It wasn’t that he’d ever refuse her now, but whatever haunted her haunted his very bones, heart, and soul. She wanted bury it away and not speak of it. She didn’t want to share her pain, but he couldn’t let it go.
He wouldn’t and couldn’t deny her immediate need for her comfort not then her eyes begged him for some sort of relief. He had scooped her up into his arms, carrying her in his arms until he was able to gently place her own his mattress. Her cognac eyes gazed up at him and it shattered his soul. It was like she was dying and begging him to breathe life into her.
“Please,” she whispered to him. Her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt. Tears escaped from the corners of her eyes.
Cupping her face in his hands, he leaned down and gently kissed her as if he was afraid she’d shatter before him like glass. She desperately kissed him back, but it wasn’t aggressive. It was like she was clawing her way out of death, but she was being sucked back down into quicksand. His heart ached and raced in complete helplessness, because he wanted to protect her from the type of pain haunting her, chasing her, and backing her into a corner.
Her hands shakily grabbed at his shirt and she tried to lift it off his body. He quickly rid himself of his clothes and he gently stripped her of hers. Frowning for a moment when she nervously glanced at her chest as if she was afraid there was a wound there. He watched her intently as her fingers touched there, tracing as if she was expecting there to be one. It was the same area he had felt his pain.
“I don’t understand,” she murmured brokenly as more tears fell.
His arms remained still, holding himself over her. “Do you want to stop?”
She glanced up at him and she shook her head. He nodded grimly, because he hated this. He hated feeling so helpless and if sex was the only thing that could help her right now who was he to deny her. When he eased her legs apart, he settled his body between her thighs and her legs automatically wrapped his waist. Was it a reflex or instinct after how many times they’ve come together like this?
Except this time… it was different.
His eyes went to hers, making sure this was what she wanted. Her eyes focused on his and her answer was a plea. Heart breaking into pieces as he finally pushed himself inside of her, because he didn’t understand what was tearing her up from the inside out. He wanted to be close to her as possible so he could show her that he was there for her. His arms snuck around her body forcing their bodies to become flush against one another. Her arms immediately wrapped around his back as he gently rocked his hips against hers.
Even though, her fingernails dug into the flesh in his back, he kept the pace gentle and steady. She clung to him. Tears spilled on his skin. He turned his head to capture her mouth in a kiss. Their kisses tasted of salt and tears, but he continued to kiss her like a tender caress. He could feel her heartbeat racing against his body and he was sure she could feel his.
Her breath hitched. Her body tensed. He rocked them steadily to her paradise. Only when her tears became soft whimpers and those whimpers became moans of pleasure did he finally allow himself to let his own pleasure build within him. This wasn’t about him, them, or even breeding.
This was about her.
This was about healing her… even if it was for a little while, because the pain he saw in her eyes still haunted him. It chilled him to his very core. What caused her that much pain was carved into his bones and imprinted in his muscles. When she finally lost herself into bliss, he allowed the pace to quicken, chasing after her next moment of bliss.
The only thing he cared about was erasing the memory of the pain from her body, showering with affection and care. He wanted her to feel only joy and pleasure so he chased after her moments of pure bliss, because he was too afraid when the desire cooled the pain would be back in her eyes and body again.
They had made love underneath the growing fullness of the moon, but it didn’t feel like it ought to when two people loved each other. It felt like he was desperately trying to piece her back together with his love. She didn’t even know it was love… and that was becoming a growing problem.
These secrets were a growing problem.
A lot of this pain could be avoided if all these secrets came to light, but he was afraid she’d hide away from him. He was starting to realize that she was hiding away from anyway. Maybe, it was time to stop these stupid secrets from taking root further. It had flowered, blossoming in a night garden hidden away from the sunshine.
Her love stayed hidden there and she didn’t know he walked through this sacred garden. She didn’t know he was secretly tending to her blossoms. They wanted each other’s love… why deny them what they wanted so desperately. What was the point of hiding it away anymore?
Especially when she refused to speak of her pain. That was when those secrets became even more of an obstacle, because he couldn’t push her to speak without revealing he knew too much.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” he whispered. He kept his tone soft even his arms around her body remained gentle but comforting even when she tensed.
Her breathing quickened, coming out in pants. If he pushed her too far, she would clam up so he waited patiently for her to respond… even if she didn’t, because that was a response in itself. She sighed then slowly sitting up in his bed. Her face turned away from him as she stared outside his window. The fullness of the moon bathed her with sunlight, illuminating her beauty.
It was his turn to gaze at her in awe. His breath hitched as his eyes took in the gentle curves of her femininity. The way the moonlight danced over her soft skin. Her lips puffy were from his kisses. Her tousled hair cascaded down her back like a river of silk. In his bedroom, he got to see a goddess before him in all her glory. She was beautiful in her own way, but with the moon dancing over her features gifting him a blessing he was only allowed to see, he realized how truly lucky he was that she hadn’t died from his own foolishness.
And he was being a fool again.
The secrets needed to stop.
Raina looked over her shoulder. Her eyes shimmered and his heart slammed into his chest. If he hadn’t already known, he knew then that he was in love with her. She was more than just a strong warrior and in the presence of the moon, he was able to see the truth of it.
“You’re beautiful,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.
Her eyes widened in surprise. Her mouth dropped open slightly. When her eyes narrowed slightly searching his for an ounce of truth, he wondered what she saw.
“But not beautiful like Mia,” she said plainly. A sad small smile touched the corners of her mouth. His heart burned at her comparison. “I’m not blind, Kian. You don’t have to pretend that you haven’t seen better or been with better.”
His heart clenched, twisting painfully. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Tonight, under the moonlight, he saw a side of her that he was never able to see — her softness and her vulnerability. The woman in her believed she wasn’t enough and all the times people had pointed that out to her crashed down around him. All the times, he had slept with Mia and unknowingly caused her pain.
All of that still poisoned her.
Tears filled her eyes and she bravely tried to blink them away.
“Raina,” he whispered as a couple tears slid down her cheeks.
She forced herself to look him straight in his eyes. “Please don’t.” She swallowed, biting her bottom lip for a moment. “Please don’t lie. If all you can tell me are lies, I don’t want to hear it.”
“I was once blinded by the sun,” he whispered, causing her to frown for a moment. “But in the moonlight, I can see your true beauty and it’s beyond anything or anyone I was blessed to witness. For a long time, Mia may have been my sun, but you have always been my moon. As creatures of the moon, you are the only one I will ever truly worship.” He watched her eyes widen the more words that poured out of him. He should feel embarrassed by them, but for some reason with her, he didn’t feel the burn of humiliation. “I’m a warrior, Raina, but you make me into a poet. What does that tell you?”
She took a shaky breath in. “Kian...?”
His name was hesitant and reluctant question on her tongue. Her voice shook with emotion. He wanted no more secrets, but he knew too emotion could overwhelm and cause more harm than good especially if she wasn’t ready to hear it. Everything he did from this point on was to slowly reveal to her the truth. If this was his first breadcrumb so be it and if she decided to blow it wide open, he would be ready.
If she wasn’t, he continue to leave a trail of breadcrumbs until all she saw was a museum of masterpieces devoted only to his greatest muse — her.
It was all for her.
“You are my moon,” he promised her. “To a wolf, that means you’re my everything. I promise you… next time, I won’t hesitate. I’ll kill him on the spot if he dares to come on our territory and anywhere close to you.”
Her eyes widened with understanding. “Even if she begs you?”
“I’ll kill him whether she witnesses it or not. It doesn’t matter.” His eyes searched hers as he continued his pledge. “Octavius is living on borrowed time and I’ll prove to you and everybody else that you are now both the sun and the moon. You are one in the same. Nothing will ever compare to you.”
She swallowed hard. Nervous eyes shifted away, but he didn’t mind. “Why?”
He paused. He could reveal that he knew she was his fated mate. He could outright set in motion everything. They could announce to the world tomorrow that they were fated mates. He could claim her right now and she’d wear his mark on her and hers would be proudly displayed on his body.
In his own way, he wanted to let her know that he knew even if he didn’t come outright and say it. It would be up to her to come to him and seal the deal.
The secrets started with her.
It needed to end with her.
“Raina, don’t ask questions you’re not ready to hear the answer to,” he finally told her and her eyes lifted to his. “When you’re ready to hear them, I’ll be waiting.”
She smirked, tilting her head to the side. “I guess we’ll just have to wait until Octavius shows himself to prove that before I’m ready to ask certain questions then.”
He would just hunt the wolf down himself right now if it meant she would finally let go of her secrets.
“Do you know what you’re suggesting?” he growled out. His wolf came to the surface, ready to meet his mate’s challenge.
She sighed, glancing to the moon. “It’s okay, Kian.” A small bittersweet smile crossed her lips. “We both know the truth though.” Her voice had grown softer, but he heard the next words clearly: “You always choose her anyway. I don’t expect anything less.”
A few tears fell and she tried to brush them away. Rage filled his body at the challenge. His little mate didn’t understand the challenge she put out, but he wasn’t going to finish it. If his moon called for blood, she would become his blood moon and he would give her blood owed.
Octavius was dead.
He was good as dead.
And he would die by his very hand while his mate watched him destroy the wolf that attempted to hurt her.