Chapter 47

“Hey.” He looked around my shoulder. “Where’s Sam?”

“Upstairs.” I smiled, hoping to coax one out of him. “I took your hint and told him to work on his homework.”

“I didn’t want to talk about this over the phone,” Peter said as I shut the door behind him. “Though maybe I should have.”

My smile faded. Peter hadn’t been this somber the night of the ER trip. Shit, did the fact he left Morgan at home mean Morgan had been more freaked out than he let on about Sam’s attack? Then there was this whole impromptu trip to Monterey. My gaze slid to the stairs. I definitely didn’t want Sam to hear this conversation. If it turned out Morgan didn’t want to play with him anymore, he’d be even more self-conscious about his health.

I jerked my head toward the door behind me. “Let’s talk in my office.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Peter followed me in. Though he looked at the chair I offered him, he didn’t sit down.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Peter rubbed the back of his neck. “I think Morgan and Sam should play together when Morgan’s with Christina. I mean, only when he’s with her. For a while. And I don’t think we should…hook up anymore.”

I stared at him in shock. That was the last thing I’d expected to come out of his mouth. What did he mean, he didn’t want to hook up anymore? The sex was amazing. Some of the best I’d ever had, and certainly the best I’d ever had with a guy.

Or maybe…it was only that good for me. I’d been out of the loop so long, it was entirely possible I’d misread him. My face went hot, my embarrassed blush impossible to control. He had enough fuck buddies on the side to know a good lay from a mediocre one. And with our sons such good friends…well, clearly, their friendship was more important than scratching my itch.

“Are you sure?” Mentally, I slapped myself for such an inane question. I didn’t need to make this worse by begging him to change his mind.

Peter nodded. “When we started, it was with a certain understanding. Casual, no strings, and the boys wouldn’t know. And I really thought I could do that. But…but I can’t.”

“But we did great Friday night. All right, so I probably shouldn’t have crashed on the couch with you, but we were up before the boys were. They don’t suspect a thing.”

“That’s my point, Aaron. Youdon’t want the boys to know, and I respect that. I can also totally understand why you don’t want anything besides a casual thing. You’ve got to focus on Sam right now. But I’m…I’m at a different place. And yeah, I knew this when I kissed you, but like I said, I thought I could do it.”

Understanding was slow to sink in, but I think I was finally getting it. And it was almost as embarrassing as thinking the sex had been bad. “But you’re still looking for that real relationship. And this isn’t it.”

“Yeah. Right.” Peter swallowed. “And it’s not really fair to either of us if we’re not on the same page.”

“But that doesn’t mean Morgan and Sam can’t play together when you have him. It just means we stop fucking.” Which was the last thing I wanted to happen. Peter might have a point, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. Especially when every instinct I had wanted to shout at him that this was a rotten idea.

“Aaron, do you…” His question faded as he searched my face. I looked back curiously, wondering just what he was trying to see. “Yeah. I’ll call you when I get Morgan back and we’ll work something out.”

I squashed the rising jealousy that somebody else would be the one to benefit from Peter’s attention. “If it’s easier for you to just drop him off, you know, if you find somebody, you’re more than welcome.” I was proud of myself. I got all the words without choking on them. Because he would. It was only a matter of time.

“Well…thanks for the offer. But I don’t think I’ll be…I don’t think it’ll be an issue. I really am sorry, though. I didn’t mean to…mislead you or waste your time or anything.”

“A waste of time? Are you kidding me?” This entire conversation was turning too surreal. I rubbed my hands over my face. My cheeks were still hot to the touch. Peter must’ve thought I looked ridiculous. “Whatever you think about what happened, it wasn’t a waste of my time. I might not have been looking for it, and I know it’s been a long time for me, but Jesus, Peter, every time we got together, it was hotter than the time before. For me, anyway. So it definitely wasn’t a waste of time.”

Peter finally smiled a little, and it was like the sun bursting through heavy clouds. “No, I agree. The sex definitely did get better and better. Anyway, I should probably go. I promised Carla I’d only be gone for a bit.”

The concession about the sex was little comfort as I rose to walk him back to the front door. I didn’t want him to go. I’d been looking forward to seeing him all week. This wasn’t nearly enough, especially when he’d been so solemn the entire time when all I wanted was to see him smile and hear him laugh, and then to have the sex taken away, too? I felt like punching my hand through the wall.