Chapter 11 THE WEIGHT OF A HEARTBEAT
Linda's brows furrowed in confusion before her eyes widened in complete shock.
She gasped audibly.
"Don't tell me... you're pregnant? For your ex-fiancé?" she asked, her voice low with disbelief.
I shook my head slowly, finally daring to meet her gaze.
I hadn't meant to fall apart in front of her-but I couldn't hold it in any longer.
I was terrified, and I hadn't even been able to accept the results of the manual test I'd taken at home.
"If it's not Harry... then who is it?" she asked, her voice softer now, but laced with confusion.
"I... I don't know," I whispered, barely able to speak through the lump in my throat.
My tears slipped free before I could stop them.
"Nancy," she said carefully, trying to make sense of it, "that's... strange. I mean, there's only one real scenario where someone gets pregnant and doesn't know who the father is-unless... unless you were raped?"
Her words felt like knives.
The shame I already carried grew heavier.
"Do you remember the day we closed Mr. James' case?" I asked, lowering my gaze back to my trembling hands.
"You mean the day you got demoted to team leader-even though you deserved your own task force?" Linda asked, her tone clipped.
"Well," I began shakily, "the morning after that, I woke up in a hotel room... next to a stranger.
He said the night was a mistake-and that's exactly what it was.
A terrible mistake I made in my lowest moment."
The words caught in my throat.
"I've been trying so hard to erase it, to pretend it never happened.
But how am I supposed to do that now?"
A sob escaped me, and before I knew it, Linda had pulled me into her arms.
I buried my face in her chest and let the tears pour out of me.
She held me tightly, whispering softly, trying to calm me down.
I needed it-I needed to let the weight on my chest fall, even if just a little.
By the time I managed to compose myself, my head felt heavy, and my eyes were puffy and sore.
"Have you told anyone else? Like your mum?" Linda asked gently.
I shook my head and gave a bitter, humorless laugh.
"What's the point? It's not like she cares about me.
She hasn't spoken to me since Arabella was discharged.
She avoids me like I'm some sort of curse."
I reached for the tissues and dabbed my tears, trying to collect myself.
"How could you bottle this up and not talk to someone?" Linda asked, clearly overwhelmed by everything I'd just revealed.
"I don't know what to do, Linda," I whispered.
"I'm scared. I'm not ready to be a mother.
And definitely not a single mother.
I'm not in the right state of mind to raise a baby."
I met her eyes, my voice cracking with raw emotion.
"How am I supposed to tell my child that I don't even know who their father is?
Linda, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind."
"Nancy, calm down.
I need you to breathe and calm down, okay?" Linda said gently, reaching for my hand.
"First, you're not alone-I need you to understand that.
Second, we're going to run a pregnancy test just to confirm everything.
And I want you to open up to your mum."
But her suggestion made me shake my head immediately.
Just imagining the disappointment on my mother's face made my stomach turn.
"No. No, I can't tell her. She's going to be crushed.
And it'll only add to the disappointment she already feels-that I couldn't make things work with Harry," I replied, my voice barely holding together.
"You can't keep thinking like that.
Harry calling off the engagement wasn't your fault," Linda said firmly.
"And I want you to say that to anyone who dares to ask.
Harry was a cheat-he betrayed you, and he was the one who ended things.
But why do I feel like you're blaming yourself for his mistakes?"
Her words cut deep.
Her eyes searched mine, looking for the truth I was too scared to admit.
And she was right-I did blame myself.
Deep down, I always thought maybe I had driven him away.
I averted my gaze, not wanting her to see the guilt swimming in my eyes.
But it was too late-she already knew.
"Nancy," she said softly but with conviction,
"How could you even think that?
Harry could've chosen to work things out.
He could've fought for you.
But he didn't.
And I'm not going to let you shoulder the blame for his selfishness.
He's a jerk who got exactly what he deserved-and I hope he rots in hell with that other woman."
Her words made me blink back more tears.
"But I need you to stop blaming yourself for things that were never your fault," she continued.
"And enough of this pity-you're stronger than that.
Or... are you thinking about getting rid of the baby?"
Her question hit me like a slap, and I stared at her, stunned.
"What? Get rid of the baby? Hell no. I don't think I can do that," I replied, a little horrified by the idea.
"Then you need to start being strong, Nancy.
That baby needs you-whether you're ready or not," Linda said, her tone softening.
"We'll try to find the guy from that night,
but we'll need every piece of information you can remember.
Do you at least know his name?"
I shook my head slowly, ashamed.
"I don't know anything about him.
Linda... I'm doomed," I said, my voice cracking as fresh tears threatened again.
"You are not doomed," she said firmly.
"We're going to take this one step at a time.
Let's go in, run the test,
and then we figure out the next step."
I nodded silently, allowing her to lead me inside the hospital.
We were greeted by Linda's doctor friend,
who directed us to an obstetrician.
A few basic tests were done,
but it was the ultrasound that changed everything for me.
The moment the screen lit up
and the sound of a tiny heartbeat filled the room,
something inside me shifted.
That sound... it silenced the chaos in my mind.
For the first time in weeks,
I felt still.
And Linda never left my side.
She held my hand as I stared at the screen,
watching the little life fluttering around inside me.
I couldn't take my eyes off the monitor.
Tears ran down my cheeks again,
but this time, I smiled through them.
All this while, I had called it a mistake.
But now, I know the truth.
My baby wasn't a mistake.
"Hey, remember what the doctor said-you need to rest.
Stressing yourself is not allowed, okay?" Linda said for the third time since we left the hospital.
I couldn't help but smile, then pulled her into a warm hug.
"Thank you, Linda.
I don't know what I would've done without you," I said softly as we pulled apart.
"It's okay.
I'll see you tomorrow morning, alright?
Don't overthink anything-just focus on yourself.
And don't forget to talk to your mum.
She deserves to know," she reminded me with a look that made it clear she wasn't just suggesting it.
I nodded in response and stepped out of the car,
waving her off as she drove down the road.
As her car disappeared from sight, I turned slowly toward my house.
The weight of telling my mum still hung heavily on my shoulders,
like a burden I wasn't sure I could carry.
I headed inside and went straight in search of my parents,
only to find the house unusually quiet.
The silence was unsettling.
The only person I came across was Mr. Johnson,
our tractor driver,
who seemed to be leaving after a late evening on the farm.
"Your parents went out for some urgent deliveries.
It came in last minute, so they both decided to go,"
he explained before heading out himself.
I made my way back to my room, feeling completely drained.
All I wanted was to throw myself on the bed and sleep,
but I knew if I didn't speak to my mum soon,
I might never find the courage again.
So, I decided to freshen up with a shower first.
My mind was swirling with thoughts.
How was I supposed to find the stranger I'd spent the night with?
I didn't even know his name.
The more I thought about it,
the dizzier I felt,
as if the weight of everything was crashing down all at once.
Turning off the shower,
I threw on my bathrobe and headed back to my room.
Hopefully, Mum would be back soon so I could finally talk to her.
But as I opened the bathroom door and stepped back into my room,
I froze.
A figure stood in the middle of the room.
Arabella.