Chapter 3
Nola perked up immediately. "Wait, Blair, have you suddenly grown a conscience? How many years has it been? Tell me, how many years have you left me to manage the company alone without asking about anything?"
Every word stung. I felt ashamed.
"You're keeping up with the times, while I..."
"While you what? Everyone knows how talented you are." Nola sounded frustrated. "But your Mr. Morgan having you focus on family - that's kind of a waste of your abilities."
Hearing words like "focus on family" made me sad. It used to be something I enjoyed doing.
But I really needed to work now. At least it would help with fighting for custody of Celestia.
"I'll come back to the company soon. I'll contact you then." I wasn't sure which day exactly. Without a response to my resignation, I couldn't settle down.
"Blair, did something happen?"
Nola could tell I had problems from just one phone call. Why didn't Levi ever care when I contacted him? I was such a failure. I'd been so slow to realize. What had blinded me, keeping me from seeing through Levi's heart?
"No."
I denied it, but she'd guessed right.
Right now, I couldn't even exit gracefully. Even resigning required Levi's approval. When I first joined the company, he didn't agree. Now that I was leaving, he'd probably agree quickly.
"Then I'm on standby anytime." Nola didn't press further.
After hanging up, my heart still felt empty.
The cold coffee, Jessa's bright smile - all that beauty should have belonged to me, Blair. Would things be better if there were no Levi?
How could I just let go like that?
I sighed helplessly. The cold air from the AC made me shiver. My gloomy heart found some temporary peace. I was tired.
When I woke up again, it was already evening. I coughed a few times, sat up, and turned on the light.
I seemed unable to climb out of the abyss of longing, missing my Celestia more and more.
I hesitated, then hesitated again.
I really wanted to ask what she was doing, but I told myself I had to resist reaching out to them. If they thought of me, they'd contact me... right?
I wasn't tired anymore, and I didn't feel hungry either. I felt like I'd been hollowed out, unwilling to connect with this world. I wanted to go back to childhood. I missed my mom...
A grown adult actually missing her mom like a child - people would laugh at me for saying that, but I'd already become a joke anyway.
Levi, you're so heartless. And me? I'm even more foolish.
My phone suddenly lit up. Celestia's profile picture appeared on the screen. I was about to answer, but they'd already hung up.
Did Celestia miss me?
I couldn't wait to call back, but a bitter smile crossed my lips. I really was pathetic - with just the slightest movement from them, all my mental preparation instantly crumbled.
If they needed me, they'd contact me again.
I forced myself not to respond.
Five minutes passed...
Ten minutes passed...
My head felt like it was splitting, but I still hadn't received a call from Celestia.
What if she ran into a problem?
What if she missed me?
So many worries popped into my head. I really couldn't control my longing and concern for Celestia.
So I called the villa's landline.
"Hello, who's this?"
"Bianca, it's me."
"Oh, Mrs. Morgan, Celestia is about to head out."
Hearing news about Celestia lifted my mood a bit. "Where is Celestia going? She just called me..."
Bianca interrupted me. "Oh, just now? She dialed the wrong number. She meant to call Ms. Greer, but accidentally called you and hung up."
"They're meeting?"
So it was meant for Jessa. A wave of bitterness washed over me.
"Yes, Mr. Morgan is going too. They're about to leave." Bianca continued, "Mrs. Morgan, Celestia is really smart. She even played a piece of music for me today."
The fact that my daughter performed for the housekeeper suddenly made me envious, even jealous.
When I visited her, she didn't show me anything - she was just busy having me help her make gifts for Jessa. My treatment seemed worse than Bianca's...
Loss and defeat wrapped around me tightly.
"Who is it?"
Levi suddenly asked, pulling me back from my thoughts.
"It's Mrs. Morgan's call."
My heart jumped, hoping Levi would say something more.
But there was nothing.
"Dad, let's go. Don't keep Auntie Jessa waiting." Celestia urged.
The faint sound of footsteps faded. They'd left.
Levi didn't say another word. He showed no concern for me.
I hung up the phone. Bitter feelings spread through my entire body. I shouldn't reach out to them anymore. My constant thinking about them was so cheap.
In a world without me, Levi was taking my daughter on a date with another woman.
In days without my daughter and husband, I should learn a different way of living. But my Celestia - if given a choice, would you choose your mom?
This kind of choice was cruel. In these six years, what I'd hoped wouldn't happen had happened anyway. The incomplete parental love I experienced - my daughter would go through it all over again...
No matter what, I couldn't reach out to them anymore. They didn't need me anymore. Unwanted love would just become a burden.