Chapter 1

Helena POV

Clasping my hands tightly around the cup, I took a deep breath, appreciating nature. From where I stood, I could see the glistening of the ocean under the moonlight, steady waves swaying back and forth. It was beautiful. Too bad I could only enjoy it from a distance. There was an incident in first grade where I was trying out for the swimming team, and I almost drowned. I haven’t gone near large bodies of water since, except when my mother and I would go to the beach. I would sit in the sand, collecting shells as I watched her, floating around, allowing the currents to drift her body where it desires.

"Oh, Mom." I fondled with the necklace around my neck.

It was given to me by my mother, as my fourteenth birthday gift, and I haven't taken it off since. The pendant was round, a starfish craved into the center, and inside was a picture of her and me as a baby. Holding on to it, I closed my eyes, allowing my brain to unlock the memories I had with her—wide smiles, luminous blue eyes, even the beauty mole right above her top lip. My dear mother, I love you... I always will love you.

It's been four years since her disappearance and numerous search parties led by both the community and the police department. Each time they came up with no clues further drove the stake of misery into my heart. After some time, it was no longer a missing person's dilemma. It was listed among the piling of unsolved homicides cases in this town. Some say she drowned; I say bullshit. I have seen my mother swim. There is no way she drowned.

It's has been just me and my father since then, alone, living in the middle of nowhere far from civilization. And I was jeered for this at school. I had no friends, and the teachers pitied me until a few days ago when Pete asked if I wanted to go to a party with him. I said yes, and here I was, standing alone. I’ve had a crush on Pete since the second grade. I admired how strong he was, his abs noticeable under his shirt drenched in sweat when he trained. All the girls like Pete, from the popular ones to the nerds. Pete talking to you puts you out there, but to be seen with him? That's something. Now, we have all matured and graduated from the same school, and this party was one last celebration.

"Hey." I felt an arm slithering around my waist. "You okay?"

"Yeah—yeah, I guess, but... I have to ask. Why did you invite me here, Pete?"

"So, I can spend more time with you." He caressed my chin, gliding his thumb over my lower lip.

"All you've done since we got here is pretend as if we aren't here together."

"That's not true, babe. Being popular is not easy, and after tonight, I might never see my buddies again."

He was right about that. High school is over, and sadly, most friendships will end with it.

"I am sorry. I wasn't even thinking about that. That's selfish of me."

"No, it's hot... You're hot."

His words made my cheeks redden with a blush that I tried to hide, though I was sure the dim light from on bonfire must have betrayed me. That was the first time a boy has told me I was “hot,” and I expected more, like in the movies. But Pete was no prince charming. He was a high school jock and a soon-to-be charismatic college boy. That's far as he would go when it came to a compliment, and I liked it.

"I—" I chuckled nervously, "Pete..."

"Shh..." He dragged his fingers down my lips. "I want to show you something." He gripped my hand, pulling me behind him.

"Where are we going?" I giggled as we ambled through the crowd of intoxicated teenagers, too caught up with their own drama to see us... together.

"You'll see." He smiled back at me.

Finally, we made it out of the crowd. Pete stooped under a rusty chain that barred us from the other side.

"Private property... do not trespass," I read the sign nailed to the post.

"What was that?"

"I don't think this is a good idea. We should head back—"

"Don't be a spoilsport. Where is the fun in that?"

"I know, but I just think—"

"Fine, go back if you want to. Just know I will just bring someone else."

And by someone else, he meant another girl.

"You're right. I’m sorry." I hunched under the chains as well.

"Show me."

After walking in silence for a few minutes, he froze in his tracks, turning around to face me.

"Are you ready to be amazed?" He grinned.

"Yea, I guess—"

Stepping aside, Pete gestured to a large hole in the ground behind him.

"What's that?" I mumbled, nervous as we walked over to it.

"I don't know... It wasn't here a few days ago when we were prepping for the party. It just appeared out of nowhere."

It was like a well, but larger. The stones packed around it were old. Whatever this was had been around for a long time. Peeping over in it, the first thing I noticed was the moon's reflection in what seems to be water at the bottom. I could see plants and colorful stones that looked naturally pigmented.

"Beautiful, huh?"

"Yeah, so are you saying this wasn't here before—" I turned around, with wide eyes, finding Pete behind me in his birthday suit.

Cleaning my throat, I looked away. So, that's the reason he brought me here.

"Don't you like what you see?" He slowly paced towards me.

"I-I think we should go back." I stepped backward as he got closer.

"Touch me," he whispered. The moisture flicked off his tongue as he licked his lips.

"Pete... let's go back."

"Why do you have to be such a bitch, huh?" he yelled, shoving me in the chest.

"Pete, let's go back... Pete, let's do this... Pete, let's do that," he continued, mimicking how I spoke.

"Pete," I glanced over my shoulders, looking down in the hole.

"What? Helena from first grade still afraid of a little water?" He pushed me again.

"Answer me, bitch!"

My ankles were pressed against the short sides of the well.

"Pete, let's just get back, okay?"

"Fuck you." He gave me one last push.

In the blink of an eye, my back came in contact with water, and I couldn't help but noticed how frigid it was. It should have been warm, but it wasn't, and that's strange for water that has been contained. Why was it so cold? Each time my head bobbed above the water, I gasped for air. This was different from the pool tragedy—maybe because someone was right there to pull me out before I started to struggle—but now, I am face to face with death. Each chance to breathe became harder than the last one. Drowning wasn't like what we saw in the movies with waving arms and screams, dramatically dipping a few times underwater, calling for someone to come to rescue you. This was reality. There was so much panic and fear of dying that the only thing to focus was staying alive. It was impossible to wave your arms when you found yourself trying to clutch onto the water, hoping to find something there to float on. You couldn't scream because when you opened your mouth, water filled you up, forcing you to gulp it down. How long this continued depended on you. Would you fight to survive, or would you give up and allow the water to be your grave?

I was getting weak, probably hallucinating, because around me I swore I saw large bubbles on the surface as if the water was boiling. It reminded me of when my father would turn on a burner under the biggest pot on Sundays to cook potatoes, but in this case, the hole was the pot, and I was a potato. Sinking to the bottom, I blinked a few times as the moonlight kissed my forehead for the last time. There was no hope for me. I was drowning.

Gasping for air, I coughed uncontrollably, opening my eyes slowly, forcing them to shut when the rays of the sunlight stung them. With a loud groan, I rolled over on my side, looking around. I knew this place, but why was I here? On the beach, I couldn't remember anything from last night. It was all a blur. The last thing I remembered was holding a cup in my hand, staring out at the ocean. How much did I have to drink? And I have been gone since last night. Wasn't anyone looking for me?

Standing up, I began to walk. My father must be worried. I had been gone for hours, and it would be twenty-four hours soon, so I’d better hurry to the house before he filed a missing person report. I could only imagine the pain he was going through because of my selfishness. Mom disappeared, and now his only daughter got wasted and reopened that wound. Taking a deep breath, I looked over my shoulders. I noticed a woman far behind me, but I could feel her eyes on me. I was near my house, so I began to walk faster, which turned into jogging. Glancing over my shoulders again, I didn't see her. She was no longer there, and there was nowhere else for her to go but into the ocean. I didn't see splashes from her swimming—maybe she wasn't there at all.

Twisting the doorknob, I pushed open the door, finding my father seated inside with police officers, all of whom wore a startled expression on their faces like they had seen a ghost. Had they? Was I dead, and my spirit was somehow roaming around?

"Helena." My father rushed over to me, hugging me tightly with repeated kisses on my forehead.

"Sorry, Dad. I know it was cruel of me, and—it's okay, Officers. I think I had too much to drink," I laughed nervously. "Woke up on the beach this morning. No hangover, though, thank God," I joked.

"Honey," my father placed his hand on my shoulder, "you've been missing for three days."