Chapter 53

KATELYN.

"I understand, my child. It was my fault that our family fell apart. I was overwhelmed by sadness and problems and sought solace in another woman. But believe me. I didn't stay with her for long. I realized that your mother and you needed me," explained Papa as we sat in the living room. Since he regained his senses, he had been explaining to me about what had happened in the past.

I let him explain because I knew I had hastily judged my father. At a young age, I didn't consider his feelings and focused on how I was hurt by what happened to us.

I didn't even bother to find out what happened to him or why he suddenly left and went with someone else. All I knew back then was that he was a terrible father who abandoned us, a worthless father who was never there when I needed him.

That's what stuck in my mind. That's what Mama ingrained in my young mind.

"If only I had understood your mother better if only I had delved deeper into the reasons behind her change, we wouldn't be in this situation. I should have been there for her during those times, I should have been the one supporting you, but I was too weak and couldn't face that problem," I looked at Papa, his hands clasped, and his head bowed.

"It was a month after I left home that I also broke up with the woman who became my mistress. I returned to our house, but your Aunt Kaylie stopped me, fearing that the situation with your mother would worsen. I waited several months to come back to you, but by the fifth month, I found out that your Aunt Kaylie had taken you and brought your mother to a mental facility."

I was shocked by Papa's explanation. I had no idea that he had returned home but was stopped by Aunt Kaylie. I had no knowledge of what my own father had gone through.

"But why didn't you look for me? You had the right to take me as your child, and you could have taken me if you really wanted to, Papa!" I couldn't help but become emotional because I grew up without a father, and that was one of my grievances.

Every time there were school events, I never had a parent accompanying me. Every time I went to Aimee's house and saw how close she was with her father, I felt extreme envy. All those things he lacked, he could do them if he truly wanted to.

"Sorry, Katelyn, my child. When you were taken away from me, I spiraled into drinking and lost my job. I admit that I was incredibly weak, and look at where I am now. I know that if I were to take you, you would only face difficulties with me. Maybe I wouldn't be able to afford your education, and when I found out from Aunt Kaylie that you were attending a good school, it further emphasized to me what you would lose if I took you, my child. But! I tried to write to you and give you gifts on your birthdays or graduations, but your Aunt Kaylie refused to accept them," Papa replied, and he stood up from his seat.

"Wait a moment, I'll get all my gifts for you, my child," he said and quickly went up to the second floor of our house. Soon, he came back carrying a box and placed it in front of me.

"Go ahead, my child, open it," he instructed, and nervously, I opened the box, revealing various gifts. Some were obviously old and still childish. I think these were the gifts he intended to give me when I was only in high school, and he never had the chance to give them to me.

I couldn't hold back my tears when I saw each gift from every year he was gone. He never missed a single birthday of mine and had a few graduation gifts for me as well. Even letters that had been hidden in this box for years and never reached me.

"I'm sorry, my child. I didn't know your phone number or address because your Aunt Kaylie refused to give them to me. I was also afraid that you wouldn't remember me or that you didn't care about me, so I didn't look for you either." I shook my head and quickly embraced my father.

My father played a significant role in my trauma towards men because I used to believe that he betrayed my mother and went off with another woman while the two of us suffered. I thought he had no care for me and didn't see me as his child.

But all these years, it turns out that I was wrong about everything.

I deceived myself with my own thoughts. I never sought answers or searched for him. I simply buried my father in oblivion and blamed him for everything that happened to us, my mother included.

I didn't know that he had been waiting all this time, that he had been fighting to see his child again and be with his wife once more.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry for believing Mama's words so quickly. I'm sorry for allowing myself to be influenced by what happened to us, which still lingers in my mind, making me think that all men are unfaithful because you betrayed Mama," I explained, tears streaming down my face.

My father shook his head and gently stroked my hair, trying to comfort me in my tears.

"I also have my share of blame in that part, my child, so don't blame yourself. We can still fix everything if you accept me as your father," he replied, and I nodded, continuing to cry in his embrace.

"I wanted to visit your mother. I've been going to her hospital several times to bring her flowers, but your Aunt Kaylie wouldn't let me see her because she said Katherina still often experiences paranoia."

I remember there were always flowers on Mama's table whenever I visited her—flowers without thorns or any part that could hurt her and be used to harm herself.

"Dad, do you know who this man is?" I moved away from him, wiping away my tears, and took out a photo from my pocket. Papa immediately looked at the picture, his brow furrowing.

"Yes, but I can't remember his name anymore. But from what I know, he was courting Katherina back then." My curiosity about the man in the photo grew.

"Why? What's special about that man?" Papa asked, and I lowered my head, unsure if he would believe me if I told him the truth. I was afraid he would think I was paranoid or that I had the same illness as Mama.

But if I didn't try, I was certain that nothing would change, and I wouldn't find the answers I sought.

"Dad, would you believe me if I told you I see the things Mama sees?" I asked, seeing the surprise on his face. I was nervous about what he would say, so I bowed my head because I didn't know what to do if Papa didn't believe me.

But I felt his grip on my hand, and I looked up at him, and he smiled at me.

"I believe you, Katelyn. Explain everything to Papa, and I will listen." When he said that, tears welled up in my eyes again, and I felt like a child seeking his help.

I told him everything that had happened to me since I was a child, including the incidents with Eligor. I didn't withhold any details, not even the intimate moments we shared. I confessed everything to him.

I shared all the experiences I had with Eli, how I met him, how he helped me escape my trauma, and how he saved me from all my problems.

I revealed all the peculiar things to Papa—the strange dreams, the sudden death of the bully who tormented me before, the old man selling dreamcatchers, and even Loraine's arrival.

Papa's face was filled with questions as I explained to him, but as I gradually presented my evidence, he seemed to find clarity in the events.

"I remember that the man who was with Katherina disappeared when she chose me. We became a couple, and no other man got close to her because I made sure to protect your mother until we got married after graduating from college," Papa explained, and that's when the thought of the incubus crossed my mind—how if they fell in love with a mortal and the person didn't return their love, their hearts would stop beating, and they would die.

Suddenly, Eligor came to my mind, and my heart raced with anxiety.

What if Eli loved me? What if everything he showed me was real, and I ended things with him? Would it mean he would die?

"Katelyn? Why did you suddenly turn pale?" Papa asked, and I instinctively placed my hand on my chest.

"Pa, I think I need to leave. I need to find Eligor," I replied to him, quickly standing up from my seat, but Papa immediately stopped me.

"Eligor? Your boyfriend?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes.

"Do you love him, Katelyn?" he asked, and I didn't hesitate with my answer because I knew I loved Eli. I nodded in front of Papa, not saying a word.

"But you mentioned earlier that he might be the incubus who visited your mother, right?" Papa asked, releasing my hand.

"I won't stop you if you want to go to the man you love right now, but my child, I want you to find clarity in everything that's happening. You need to understand what you're getting into, especially when you don't know who or what they are. I don't want to lose my daughter again, so please, my child, use your mind along with your heart. I don't want you to end up like me, swayed by emotions and not considering the priority I need to focus on. It would help if you didn't make a wrong decision. If you truly want to go and find him, confront your past first, accompany me, and let's visit your mother," Papa replied, looking at me seriously.

To be honest, I was surprised because if I were to leave now, he would let me go and allow me to go to Eligor because that's what my heart desires. But he gave me a choice. He made me choose what I should prioritize so that I wouldn't make a wrong move due to my impulsiveness.

"I don't want you to get hurt because you don't know what you're getting into right now, so it's better for you to be prepared so that if you accept who he is, you won't regret it, Katelyn." I nodded, and he smiled back at me.

He looked at his broken watch and invited me, "Let's go and visit your mother as early as possible so that you can also see Eligor, and I can get to know him," he replied, making me cry even more.

I've only felt this way now, that validation I wanted to hear, the act of someone listening to you without judgment and believing in you.

I experienced that with Eligor, but it's a different story to experience it with your parents, who accept all your explanations and believe in everything you say.

I've found an ally, and I'm happy to know that it's only my father who can provide that for me.

He immediately called the driver, and we headed straight to Mama's hospital. The journey was quite far, and it took us five hours and three transfers. But while we were on the way with Papa, it felt like the years we spent apart were being filled.

He told me everything that happened to him, and I also shared other things with him. It's just delightful that even though we were separated for years, it feels like I saw him just yesterday because of how close we are to each other now.

"Call your Aunt Kaylie. I'm sure she'll be angry when she finds out that we're together now and going to visit her sister, Katherina," Papa said, and I nodded.

I also have many questions for Aunt Kaylie, so I want to talk to her today as well.

When we arrived at the mental facility where Mama was admitted, as soon as we got out of the taxi, Aunt Kaylie immediately greeted us.

"I didn't expect this from the two of you," she replied, folding her arms and looking at us with Papa.