Chapter 69 Dancing with the Fire

Chapter 69 Dancing with the Fire
MAGDALENA couldn’t answer. She was just staring into  Lucian’s eyes as her tears continued rolling down her cheeks. She’s confused. She’s scared. She’s dying inside each day, dreaming of a beautiful and peaceful future with the people she loves. 

She loves Lucian so much, but choosing him will never be easy because that would mean betraying one of the most powerful people in this country.

“L-Lucian…”

“Magdalena, please…” Lucian whispered as he cupped her cheeks again.

Magdalena’s lips trembled. 

The fear in Lucian’s eyes was too visible. It was like he knew about what she’s thinking and he’s not accepting her reasons. He was so stubborn, but Magdalena couldn’t blame him because they both are stubborn.

“You shouldn’t have fought with him,” Magdalena said, voice barely above a whisper. She didn’t know how to answer what he said earlier, so she opened another topic.

Magdalena wiped her tears and looked into Lucian’s eyes. “You fought with your father, Lucian. You shouldn’t have done that.”

Lucian’s brow furrowed. “You think I should’ve just let him talk about you like property?”

Magdalena shook her head. “He’s your father.”

“And you’re not his,” Lucian said with gritted teeth. “You are not his property. Even if you agreed to marry him, he shouldn’t treat you like a thing he could possess.”

Magdalena swallowed hard. Her breath caught as she stared into his stubborn eyes. There was no sign of hesitance in his eyes. He was too certain about her and about the future he’s promising. It’s like he’s ready to shield her from every sword, arrows, and bullets aimed at her.

“I meant it,” he said quietly, stepping closer. “What I said earlier. Let’s leave. I can take care of you. Of Angel. We don’t need him.”

Magdalena’s heart squeezed in her chest. She searched his face, his certainty, his defiance, his desperate hope, and it broke her. Because she knew that no matter how strong those emotions were, their relationship is still wrong.
“How,” she whispered. It wasn’t even a question because she knew there would be no certain answer to it.

Lucian’s expression darkened with confusion. “What do you mean how?”

“You have six months left,” Magdalena said, trying to keep her voice steady. “Six months until you graduate. Six months until your future finally opens up. I can’t see your future falling down just because you chose me.”

“I don’t care—”

“But I do!” Magdalena snapped, her voice trembling while trying so hard to keep it low because she’s scared someone might see them.

Lucian stared at Magdalena as she took a step back, wrapping her arms around herself like she was bracing against the wind. But that action made Lucian’s heart hurt. It was so hard and painful to see the woman he loves step away from him like he was so bad for her.

“You think running away with me is romantic, but it’s not. It’s reckless. You’ll be throwing away everything you’ve worked for. Your name, your family, your freedom, and for what? For me? A woman who’s… already broken. Who has a daughter. Who’s marrying your father?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Lucian growled. His eyes sharpened as his expression darkened even more.

“But it’s the truth,” Magdalena insisted.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Lucian shook his head. “You’re the only thing in this damn house that ever felt real to me. You are the only one that makes me feel alive. So, losing you meant dying, Magdalena!”

Magdalena’s tears rolled down her cheeks again. She could feel his emotions through his eyes. The pain, the love, longing, sorrow, guilt, and desperation were too vivid. Magdalena couldn’t hold her tears back. She was dying inside like him.

“I love you,” Lucian said quietly, his voice hoarse and begging. “And you love me, too. I know you do.”

She did. God, she did. She knows in her heart that her love for him was different from any love in this world. Her love for him couldn’t be explained in words. Her love for him was too real, intense, and beautiful that it would be so impossible to feel it with someone else. But she couldn’t afford to be selfish.

There are so many things that tear them apart. Their age difference. His father. Her problem with her late husband’s family. And lastly, his future is on the line. How could she be so selfish to run away with him when the consequence is his own future?

“Maybe that’s exactly why I can’t r-run away with you,” Magdalena said, voice cracking. “Because if I do, I’ll be the reason your dreams fall apart. And I won’t live with that.”

Lucian stepped forward, desperate. “Magdalena—”

Magdalena stopped him with a hand to his chest. But Lena felt like she was burned, so she immediately pulled her hand back.

“I have to protect you the only way I can,” Magdalena whispered. “Even if it means… letting you go.”

Lucian’s heart was beating like a drum in his chest. It was painful. It was killing him slowly. Magdalena could make him feel so alive, but she could kill her instantly too.

The night breeze whispered painfully. Magdalena’s cheeks turned cold as the wind kissed her skin. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Lucian as he looked at her like he was drowning and dying before her eyes.

They stared into each other’s eyes until Lucian’s jaw tightened. His chest rising and falling in sharp, uneven breaths as he stared at her. The frustration in his eyes had reached its limit, not just from being shut out, but from wanting something that kept being pulled out of reach.

Lucian knew the consequences of all these, but he was risking   everything because he knew that fighting for Magdalena was always worth the pain and hardship. He wanted her so bad, not because Magdalena could make him feel so happy. But because he knew in his heart that she’s the only thing missing in his life.

Why can’t Magdalena understand that?

“Baby,” Lucian said through gritted teeth. “I can’t do this anymore. Pretending. Watching you vanish behind him. I can’t…”

“Lucian—” Magdalena tried to find an answer, her voice already breaking. However, she doesn’t know how to fight the strong feeling and the strong urge to be with him.

Lucian stepped forward, crowding her space, and before Magdalena could protest again, he crashed his mouth against hers, before pinning her back against the railing.

The kiss was rough at first, all fury and desperation, but it softened quickly. Melted into something deeper. Lucian’s hand cradled her jaw while the other slid to her waist, pulling her against him like he couldn’t bear the inches between them.

Magdalena gasped against his mouth. She was stunned and was suddenly trapped between excitement and fear.

Lucian’s lips devoured hers like there’s no tomorrow. His kisses were dominating her senses and stealing her chance to think rationally.

“Lucian, we can’t… Viktor—” Magdalena tried to grasp her senses, but Lucian was eager to  make her forget everything.

“He’s gone,” Lucian whispered against her lips. “Emergency meeting. He won’t be back for hours.”

Viktor left? She didn’t know. Somehow, her fear lessened. But then she remembered there’s someone else in the mansion.

Magdalena forced herself to push Lucian’s chest even with her trembling hands and racing heart. “But if someone sees us—”

“No one will.” Lucian kissed her again, breathlessly this time. “I don’t care anymore. I’ve waited long enough.”

Magdalena tried to push at his chest once again, weakly, half-heartedly, but her hands seemed to have found a perfect spot in his body. They only curled into the fabric of his shirt instead.

Lucian’s kisses became more aggressive. Their lips met again and again, deeper each time, until Magdalena was clinging to him, his hand was now at the back of her head, keeping her close.

Magdalena could feel it. Her lips were already swollen but she knew Lucian won’t stop at kisses.

Magdalena’s eyes shut tight as she found herself kissing Lucian back with the same hunger, heat, and burning passion. 

She had told herself to forget Lucian. That something like this couldn’t happen again. But then here she is. She’s letting him kiss her. She’s letting him touch her. Own her. Like nothing else matters more than them.

“Tell me you want this…” Lucian whispered against her lips.

Magdalena gasped as she felt his other hand making its way under her night dress. Her lips and hands trembled under his burning touch. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes as the heat drove her insane.

“L-Lucian…” Magdalena whispered under her ragged breathing as Lucian rested his forehead against hers, breathing hard. 

“Tell me…” Lucian whispered again. He wasn’t trying to manipulate her. He just wanted to feel that even after everything, she still wants him.

“I-I’m…yours,” Magdalena said instead of saying what he wanted to hear. She said it because she knew that she belonged to him. Her heart belongs to him, and nothing can change that.

Lucian pressed his lips to her jaw, her neck, reverent, like she was the only thing left in the world that could keep him sane. And under the silver hush of the moonlight, their shadows entangled against the wall of the balcony, they gave in. Magdalena gave in.

“Ahh!” Magdalena muffled her moan as Lucian took her, slowly and passionately.

She was gripping the railing of the balcony while Lucian was behind her, hugging her waist and moving like he wanted her to lose her sanity.

Magdalena’s back was pressed against his hard and warm chest as they both panted like they’re chasing something.

Magdalena knew this was irreversible. She already gave him another reason to fight and she wanted it too.

The wind continued blowing endlessly while their bodies joined and sweated together. No one was there. Just them, trembling, breathless, and desperate,  holding onto a moment that couldn’t last… but still meant everything.

“Oh, fuck!” Lucian growled quietly behind her as he buried his face against her neck.

Magdalena bit her bottom lip as she felt herself nearing. Her hands gripped the railing tighter. Her nails almost break.

“Oh, baby!” Lucian whispered against her shoulder as he continued chasing his release behind her. “Fuck! Baby, you are mine. Magdalena, you are mine. You will be a Moretti. But as my wife and not my stepmother.”

Magdalena’s body trembled when she felt Lucian’s hand reaching her most sensitive spot. Her eyes dilated when his fingers touched her folds and massaged her as he continued moving inside her. He was doing that as if he was trying to make her moan and she did.

“Ohh!” A long, muffled moan escaped her lips as her knees trembled and something came out of her.

“Oh fuck!” Lucian cursed under his breath again as he felt Magdalena’s warmth. He then buried himself deep inside her with one final thrust and poured everything inside.

Magdalena cried quietly against his shoulder when it was over, clutching him like she could make time stop. Lucian only held her tighter after her knees gave out. He turned her around and hugged her so tight, letting his body warm her.

They were both panting as they felt each other’s heartbeat. They weren’t saying anything and both of them knew that what happened would just lead to two ways. Either they’d fight for each other, or this will be the last time they’d hold each other.