XLII. Ripples of Desire

Elva walked back to the longhouse, Sigrid and Alden whispering to each other as they walked behind her. They spoke of hunting and the topic bored Elva to the point where she drowned them out.

The heaviness that covered them while they stood in that dark cell was nowhere to be found. A huge weight had been taken off her shoulders and she refused to dwell on the past.

All she had going for her now was her future with Eksel.

Her steps faltered when the longhouse came into view.

Eksel stood outside, speaking to Sten in a hushed voice. His brow was set in a frown and his hair was out of its braids, cascading down to his shoulders.

She swallowed, her mouth drying as she admired the exposed skin of his torso, his muscles on full display. He wore no shirt, letting his wounds breathe in the fresh air.

His chest heaved and he tensed as if sensing her presence immediately. He snapped his gaze to hers, those dark brown eyes full of so many unspoken things. The intensity made her shiver and she pulled her lip into her mouth.

Her heartbeat spiked. Eksel wanted her, the hunger was evident in his eyes and they had spent too much time apart.

Too much time struggling to just survive.

Too much time fighting for their right to live.

And the way his muscles rippled with every breath had her body tingling with an all too familiar sensation.

She froze, grimacing when it sent a pang through her chest. Panic bubbled and the memories of Agnar’s touch filled her mind until she could not breathe. She shut her eyes tight, willing the memories to go away. Did they have to come now? Did they have to ruin what she thought would finally be her happily ever after?

Steps resonated around her and she tensed. Her body reacted and she recoiled, a scream bubbling in her throat.

“Elva?”

But that deep, gentle voice was enough to ground her in newfound safety.

She shuddered and his warm hand caressed her arm. She slowly opened her eyes, fighting with all her might to not pull away from his touch.

His brows creased and those beautifully dark brown eyes traced the edge of her face in a worrisome gaze. She melted into his touch, her lips parting in relief at the sight of that warm look in his eyes.

He pressed his lips together before tracing his hand down her arm and to her hand.

“Come with me?”

She nodded, still too emotional to speak.

He turned and lead her away from the village and to the forest that surrounded them. She inhaled, breathing in the cool, damp air.

Eksel walked in front of her, his hand reaching back to remain attached to hers. A new need to cry bubbled behind her eyes.

Though the lashes on his back were healing, they remained deep and red and angry. The scars would be a maze, a painting. It hurt her to see the destruction, but it was all a testament to the strength he had.

He never complained. Never hated.

He stood strong and swallowed the pain.

The knowledge formed a knot in her throat.

Who was she to deserve such a man?

She was weak. Touched.

Dirty.

Used.

The words resonated in her mind, repeating over and over again until she struggled to breathe. She stilled, pulling Eksel to a stop.

She thought she had overcome her fears in that dark cell. She thought she had beat her darkest thoughts.

But standing in the face of a love so strong it could shatter her entire world, her foundation shook. What if it fell apart?

What if.

What if.

What if.

He looked over his shoulder to her, his eyes widening in worry and he walked to her, kneeling in front of her and cupping her cheeks between his hands.

She looked at him, her eyes filling with tears.

Eksel’s heart broke. His chest expanded in worry and he tensed. “What’s wrong, my love?”

She shook in a sob, the endearment taking her out of her doubt.

No. She wouldn’t let her fear overcome her. Not when they were so close to their happy ending. She let it keep them apart for far too long already.

“Elva?”

Her thoughts disappeared and she rested in his touch.

She inhaled slowly, though it was broken from how much her body shook. “I-I’m sorry.”

He frowned deeply. “For what?”

“We’ve gone through so much and I-I’m overthinking.”

He tilted his head, his brow twitching. “About what?”

“It’s just-” She inhaled, intertwining her fingers.

Eksel stepped away and watched her silently.

“You killed your brother. For me.”

Eksel swallowed.

“You attacked your village. For me.”

Eksel tensed.

“Y-you lost men. For me.”

“Elva-”

“You were tortured. Because of me. Because I came into your life.”

“And I would do it a thousand times again.”

The certainty in his voice had fresh tears in her eyes. Was she so lucky to have the love of such a man?

“I would do anything for you.”

She bit her lip. “What if I’m not enough?”

Eksel was shaken from his spot. He stepped to her. “Not enough?”

She stepped back. “I know. I know it’s crazy, especially after everything. But I feel - broken.”

Agony flared in Eksel’s eyes.

“I have nightmares,” She whispered, avoiding his gaze.

Ekself recoiled, frowning.

“About-about Agnar.”

Eksel scowled.

“About him t-touching me.”

Without giving her a second to breathe, Eksel stood in front of him, his forehead against hers and his chest heaving with an angry breath. “I should’ve killed him sooner.”

“I’m afraid-” She inhaled, closing her eyes tight.

Eksel watched her, his hands flexing beside his thighs to hold himself back from wrapping her in his arms.

“I’m afraid you will not want me because-”

Eksel pulled back, frowning at her. “Because he touched you?”

She exhaled, looking away as tears streamed down her cheeks and nodded.

“That’s impossible,” Eksel whispered, his mind spinning, trying to find ways to convince her that she is everything he ever wanted.

Elva pressed her lips together. “You still want me?”

Eksel exhaled in disbelief, “Elva.”

His eyes trailed the curves of her face an her body and she shifted. “I know you love me. I do. You did all of that for me. But I’m still- It still- It still shocks me.”

Eksel smiled, but his brows were still in a frown. “Can you imagine how I feel? How unworthy I feel of you?”

Elva shook her head, “How? How can you feel like that about someone that uprooted your entire life?”

“Because that wasn’t my life, Elva.”

“What?”

“You are.”

Her heart slammed in her chest and her ears rung.

“You are. You have always been. It just took me this long to find you.”

Her lips trembled with her breath.

“I will be by your side. Through everything. I’ll wait.”

Elva looked to the ground. “What if I take too long? To heal? What if you stop loving me before-”

“Elva.”

She trembled.

“Elva look at me.”

She lifted her gaze.

“You cannot get rid of me.”

He shook his head and she tilted her head up at him as if finally admitting defeat. “I don’t want to get rid of you.”

“You cannot push me away. Not now. I’m yours.”

She inhaled, “And I’m yours.”

He swallowed and reached for her hands, turning it in his grasp and trailing a finger across her palm, “You will just- you will have to tell me when it’s too much, okay?”

She nodded.

“I- crave you more than air.”

Her nostrils flared, that need igniting in the pit of her stomach but she quieted the panicked voice in her mind.

He stepped closer, “You invade my every thought.”

She inhaled his scent.

“My body needs yours.”

He trailed his hands down her arm, gripping her waist and pulling her toward him until she was flush against him. Her skin erupted in waves of goosebumps, but she doused the flames of panic that lit in her mind.

“So you need to tell me when to stop.” His eyes traced the curves of her lips.

Elva nodded once and Eksel took what she gave.

He leaned into her, hesitating for only one more second before closing the distance between them.

The press of his lips started in a gentle caress and Elva wrapped her arms around his neck. Eksel inhaled, slow and long. She pushed herself to the tips of her toes, deepening the kiss.

Eksel grunted, pressing his hands against her waist and pulling back, “Let’s- let’s just get to the creek before I fuck you on the floor right now.”

Elva was catching her breath and she nodded, her heart jumping to her throat.

He led her again through the maze of trees until they reached a quaint creek. He stopped just at the edge and snapped his gaze to her, giving her a hungry once over.

Her skin broke into prickles and she licked her lips as soon as he began to undress. Her throat constricted, her voice disappearing while he lowered himself into the water.

He grimaced slightly when the water ran across the lashes on his back but he kept his dark gaze on her, never once letting her feel alone.

Elva swallowed, shutting her eyes and reminding herself that this was Eksel. Her Eksel. He wouldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t. He would stop if she asked him too.

She snapped her eyes open, not letting her mind wander for fear of changing her mind.

Eksel groaned watching her as she gently pulled her sleeves down her arms. Her dress pooled at her feet, leaving her in thin undergarments.

She pressed her lips together and stepped into the water.