XXXVII. Heartfelt Vigil

Elva smiled softly at Alden as he handed her a bucket of clean water. The sun had just risen and the cool night air still clipped her skin.

“Has he woken up yet?” Alden asked.

She shook her head. “Not since-”

Not since he looked at her and asked her if he was dreaming.

Alden placed his hand on her arm, his eyes softening apologetically.

Elva cleared her throat, “It’s been a couple of days.”

“The rest is good for him,” Alden pulled her in for a hug and she inhaled, letting his embrace calm her nerves.

The fire still burned from where he had boiled the water. She lifted the bucket, “Thank you for the water.”

She looked over her shoulder and smiled as she walked away. For the past two days, she had been cleaning Eksel’s wounds. Alden always made sure she had clean water and bandages to do so. It was one of the few ways he wanted to prove that he was there for her and she was more than thankful.

The vendetta against Agnar and Arrion had been put on hold. Eksel’s men refused to move forward without him and Alden’s men refused to move forward without Alden’s approval. And he, of course, was wrapped around Elva’s pinky.

She walked over to their tent and when she opened the flap, she gasped, dropping the bucket to the ground.

Eksel sat, his eyes heavy with fatigue and his shoulder hunched over from the pain.

“Eksel,” She whispered in rush, hurrying to his side and kneeling.

She cupped his cheeks with her hands and turned him to face her. Recognition flashed in his gaze and he pressed his fingers to her cheek.

Elva smiled, biting her lips to quiet the scream she held inside.

Eksel smiled down at her before he grimacing. He frowned and looked around the tent, noticing the small bunch of skins in the corner where Elva has been sleeping.

He swallowed, “Wh-where are we?”

Elva’s lips trembled, “We’re at a camp near my home.”

He tilted his head down so he could see her clearly and ran his fingers down her cheek again, “You weren’t a dream.”

A tear rolled down her cheek and she shook her head, her smile widening. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up. I b-brought water to clean your wounds. And you were-you are awake.”

She leaned closer to him, closing her eyes when she pressed her forehead to his chest.

He stiffened for a moment before wrapping his arm around her waist, he hissed when it pulled on the lashes on his back.

Elva recoiled, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

She shook her head and twisted to stand, but Eksel gripped her arm, keeping her beside him.

“Don’t leave,” He whispered.

She smiled, but her brows creased. Relief washed over her and she could not stop smiling at seeing him awake. However, his pain was a reminder of everything that was done to him and everything that they still needed to do.

“I won’t leave,” She whispered while gently removing his hand from her arm.

She stood and went back to the entrance of the tent, grabbing the bucket. Not all of the water had spilled and there was enough for her to use.

Eksel watched her, his face illuminated by the soft glow of the fire that burned inside.

She brought the bucket with her and sat beside him, ripping the cloth her father had given her and dumping it in the water.

Neither of them spoke, both of them just relieved to be in each others presence.

Elva wringed the cloth and lifted it to his face but he pulled back frowning. His eyes twitched as he looked at her and suddenly his gaze unfocused.

Elva looked at him with a frown, realizing that though he was physically here, his mind was somewhere else.

Slowly, he lifted his hand, softly running his fingers across the gruesome wound on his cheek. It was deep and it stretched from his orbital bone down to his lips. He could feel his teeth, and he looked at Elva with wide and horrified eyes.

His chest began to fall and rise with heavy his breaths and he turned from her, covering his face with his hand.

His body shook and he shut his eyes tight, shaking his head.

“Eksel?” Elva whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.

She knew the feeling. She knew what it felt like when panic took over your body.

He stilled at the sound of her voice, lowering his hand and lifting his lips in a scowl, “Halfdan?”

Elva licked her lips, “Dead.”

Eksel nodded.

Elva tried again, lifting the cloth to his face but he grasped her wrist. She gasped and he shook his head.

“I’ll do it,” He whispered.

“No.” She shook her head.

He lifted his gaze and looked at her with a frown, only for it to ease when he saw the tears on her cheeks. His shoulders fell and he uncurled his fingers from her wrist.

Elva lifted herself to her knees and brought herself closer to him, until she could feel the warmth of his body on her skin.

Eksel’s breath caught in his tongue but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He had forgotten the softness of the curves on her face. And now it seemed to be the only thing that numbed the pain.

“We’re together now,” Elva whispered.

Eksel’s heart lurched in his chest.

“We take care of each other.”

Eksel’s eyes fluttered, his chest expanding with every breath.

She pressed the cloth to his face, dabbing it softly. “I’m sorry it took us so long to get to you.”

Eksel followed the straight line of her noise before watching her eyes as they shook. “I should have never left you with him.”

Elva stiffened, her nostrils flaring. She bit her lip, nodding before she continued.

Silence followed with Eksel hissing every few seconds.

“They say you’re healing very fast.”

Eksel’s eyebrows shot up, as if just remembering that there were so many more people involved in this. He shot a look to the entrance of the tent, wondering if they knew he was awake now.

Elva sighed knowing the thoughts in his head, and pressed the cloth to his cheek one last time before letting herself fall back onto her haunches. “I just- I want you to myself just a little bit longer.”

His heart beat fast in his chest and he reached for her, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck and pressing his forehead to hers. “If it were up to me, it’d be just me and you. Always.”

Elva chuckled, though it was muffled by the trembling of her lips. She wanted to cry and laugh, scream and jump, hold him and be held all at the same time.

A war brewed within her. They had just escaped danger, but she knew they would face it again soon. It felt as if it would never end. As if they would always have to fight for their right to be together.

She inhaled his scent, licking her lips. “What if we just go?”

Eksel pulled back, frowning.

“We can book passage across the sea.” She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

He rubbed his thumb down the column of her neck. “This is our home, Elva.”

She exhaled a shuddering breath, “I can’t- I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, little thing.”

A sob shook her.

“We cannot let them live. Not after everything.”

Elva frowned, pursing her lips, “But he’s your brother.”

Eksel tilted his head, understanding passing through him, “We do not have to kill Arrion.”

She snapped her gaze to his, trying to read the sincerity of his words. Is that what scared her? Is that what stopped her? It angered her that she still felt like she had to protect him.

Did Eksel not feel the same way?

“But you’ll kill your bother?”

Eksel stiffened, dropping his hand from her neck and hardening his gaze, “He raped you.”

Elva struggled for breath, her hands trembling and her chest heaving. “Arrion encouraged it.”

Eksel’s nostrils flared and jaw clenched, “They both deserve to die, Elva.”

She nodded, understanding the logic but not able to wrap her heart around it.

He grunted, moving the skins that covered his lap.

Elva’s eyes widened, “What are you doing?”

“We’re wasting time. The sooner we can end this the sooner we can- we can start over.”

Elva threaded her fingers between his, “I want that too. But you have to get better. You have to rest. It was- I thought you were dead, Eksel.”

Eksel shushed her softly as a sob broke through her. “I’m here.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she struggled for breath.

“I’m here.”

He pressed a kiss to her nose and she smiled at him, still crying softly.

“And I’ll never leave.”

He grazed his lips against hers and she closed her eyes, her heart aching for his touch.