Selena's P. O. V.
After dinner, Mr Luther and I sit outside our tent, staring at the sky full of stars. The view is breathtaking-so peaceful. However, his presence brings an even deeper peace.
The way he gazes at the stars, it's as if he adores them deeply.
"You like the stars?" I ask, breaking the silence.
He turns to look at me with a small smile on his face and nods at me, his eyes sparkling. "Yes, I do. I love them because they shine even in darkness... just like you."
His unexpected words leave me speechless. Will he just stop doing this? It's getting hard for me to control my heart.
He moves closer and gently cups my face, locking his eyes with mine. My heart is beating so fast that I'm sure he can feel it. Like always, his proximity is sending shivers down my spine and making my breath heavy.
"My life was completely dark, and then you came into it like a ray of sunshine, illuminating everything," he whispers, brushing his thumb against my cheek. "You're my little star, Selena."
He says these words with so much honesty, leaving me speechless and causing butterflies to erupt in my stomach.
God! Somebody please stop him. He's driving me insane. I don't want it.
Maybe I want to, but I can't. I can't let myself get attached or fall in love. No, it can't happen. It's not an option for me.
"And your smile," he continues, "it has so much power over me. Just seeing it makes me forget all my stress and pain." His gaze deepens, his thumb continuously stroking my cheeks. "Your eyes-they shine like stars. Even now, they're glowing in the darkness."
At this moment, I want nothing more than to kiss him under the stars. I've never felt so connected to anyone before, but with him, it feels effortless-like it's meant to be.
But then reality hits me hard. He is my father's best friend and is fifteen years older than I am. What I feel for him is wrong-so, so wrong.
God!
I can't let him enter my heart because falling in love isn't something I've permitted myself to do. If my father comes to know what I'm doing with his friend, I'll be damned and I'll lose him forever. All my life, I have lived to make him proud of me, but now, I'm risking everything for a man I shouldn't even think about this way.
God, Selena, you need to control yourself. Push him away and leave. Just do that.
"Mr. Luther, I'm feeling sleepy," I say abruptly, rising to my feet, and feeling a pang in my heart.
What's happening to me? Why is it already hurting me? Fuck!
His eyes slightly widen in shock. "What happened?" he asks, grabbing my wrist. His touch sends a jolt of electricity through me, but I quickly pull my hand away.
I feel my chest becoming heavy as his hand leaves my mine.
"Nothing," I respond, trying to sound composed, but it's hard.
Pushing him away isn't easy when all I yearn to do is to stay close to him, to lose myself in the warmth of his presence. However, I know I can't. If I let my guard down even for a moment, I'll fall-hard and irrevocably-and there will be no turning back.
Because I'm certain this man has the power to make me feel all the emotions which I wasn't supposed to feel.
"Don't lie to me," he says in his bossy tone.
"This is wrong," I blurt out, controlling my tears from falling. "What's happening between us... it's wrong. Don't you understand?" His expression hardens, and I continue, "I've never let any man get close to me emotionally. I've never allowed anyone to connect with me like this. I have nothing to give you, Mr Luther. We should keep this... whatever this is... purely physical."
His dark eyes bore into mine as if he's trying to read my mind. For a moment, I think he's going to argue, to protest against the ridiculous statement I just made. Because deep down, I know-we know-it can never be just physical between us.
But if I don't keep this boundary, I'll lose every shred of control I've worked so hard to maintain.
"It's better this way. It's the only way this doesn't destroy us both." I can feel my heart breaking as I speak, but I force myself to stand firm.
His lips part as if to say something, but I don't give him the chance. I don't want to hear the truth he might spill, the truth I'm not ready to face.
"Good night." Without looking at him again, I turn and rush into the tent. My hands are trembling, and my heart feels like it's tearing itself apart with every beat.
The moment I zip the tent closed, I press my back against the fabric, clenching my fists at my sides. Tears spill from my eyes, but I wipe them away furiously.
I can't fall for him. I can't let myself believe there's more to this than I've convinced myself there is. Physical. That's all it can ever be.
But even as I repeat the words in my mind like a mantra, I know it's a lie. Whatever this is between us-it's already so much more.
***
James's P. O. V.
Fuck!
I fucked up everything.
I knew it if I would express my true feelings to her, she would push me away. And she did that only. I should've controlled myself.
But in that moment, how could I have stopped myself? She looks out of the world in the moonlight. The way her blue eyes were shining in the darkness was ethereal, I felt something I hadn't in years-a need, a desire not just for her body but for her presence, her soul.
And now, I've ruined everything.
I sit back down, staring at the stars she asked about, but their beauty feels hollow now. My hands clench into fists as I feel frustrated. I shouldn't have expressed myself.
I'm an idiot.
But fuck! This is happening to me for the first time-that I'm feeling something like this for a woman. I'm trying to control my emotions, trying to push them down like I always have, but it's impossible with Selena.
But I have to control myself. Selena has made up her mind to never let the walls around her heart crumble. And as much as it kills me to see her fight against what we both know is real, I have to respect her decision.
I know if I push too hard, I'll lose her completely and I can't let that happen. Not now, not ever.