Given Up

Given Up
I avoided Darian for three more days. Stayed in my house. Took late patrols. Ate when no one else was around. On the fourth morning, Celeste found me near the well. I'd gone to fill my water skin before dawn. Thought I'd be alone. I wasn't.

"Lyra," she said. Her voice was soft. Pleasant. "Good morning."

I didn't respond. Just kept filling my water skin.

She moved closer. "I wanted to thank you."

I looked up. "For what?"

"For giving Darian and me time to talk yesterday. He came to my quarters early. Before sunrise. Said he needed my advice on something important."

My hands stilled. "Did he."

"Yes. We spoke for hours. About the future. About choices. About what really matters." She paused. "He seemed conflicted."

I tied off my water skin. "I'm sure he was."

"He didn't tell you?"

"We're not speaking much."

"Ah. That explains it." She tilted her head. "He seemed relieved to have someone who understands. Someone from his world."

I stood. Started walking away.

"He asked about our families," she called after me. "About the old promises. Whether they still held weight."

I didn't stop. Didn't look back. But her words followed me. Dug into my chest like claws.

He'd gone to her. Early morning. Talked for hours. Asked about promises.

My wolf snarled. Wanted to turn around. Wanted answers.

I kept walking.

Later that day, I was in the dining hall. Alone in the corner. Trying to eat something that tasted like ash.

Celeste appeared. Sat across from me without asking.

"We keep running into each other," she said. Smiled.

I set down my fork. "What do you want?"

"Just to talk. No hostility."

"I'm not interested."

"That's a shame. Because there are things you should know. Things about Darian that might help you understand why this is so difficult for him."

I didn't respond. Didn't take the bait.

She leaned forward. Lowered her voice. "The debt my family holds. It's not just financial. It's personal. Intimate. There was a death. A young vampire. My cousin. Darian's father was responsible. After the exile, there were those who wanted blood for blood. Wanted Darian to pay for his father's crimes."

My chest tightened. "He told me about the debt."

"Did he tell you what my father did to save him? How he stood before the High Council and swore on our family name that Darian was worth saving? How he offered me as collateral for Darian's future good behavior?"

I stared at her. "What does that mean?"

"It means our engagement wasn't just political. It was a blood oath. A promise that if Darian failed, if he brought more shame to the vampire community, I would bear the consequences. My reputation. My future. My life."

She said it so calmly. So matter-of-factly.

"That's why he can't just send me away," she continued. "That's why he owes my family more than you understand. It's not about love or choice. It's about honor. About debts that go deeper than feelings."

I couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Every word felt like a weight pressing down on my chest.

"I'm not telling you this to hurt you," Celeste said. "I'm telling you because you deserve to know what you're asking him to sacrifice. What choosing you costs him."

She stood. Walked away. Left me sitting alone with her words echoing in my head.

That afternoon, I saw Darian crossing the square. He saw me too. Changed direction. Started walking toward me with purpose.

My heart jumped. Part relief. Part fear.

Then Celeste appeared from nowhere. Stepped in front of him. Put her hand on his arm.

"Darian," she said urgently. "I need to speak with you. Now. It's about the High Council."

He looked past her. At me. "Can it wait?"

"No. They sent a message. About the trade agreements. There's a problem."

His jaw tightened. He looked at me again. "Lyra—"

I turned away. Started walking. Didn't give him a chance to choose.

Behind me, I heard Celeste's voice. Heard her pulling him away. Heard his frustrated response.

Didn't matter. He'd let her interrupt. Again.

The next day, the same thing happened. Darian found me near the training grounds. Started toward me.

Celeste intercepted. This time she talked about her family. About urgent matters. About things that couldn't wait.

He tried to excuse himself. She held his arm. Kept talking. Looked up at him with wide eyes full of concern.

I watched from across the yard. Saw him trying to leave. Saw her holding him there. Saw him finally giving in.

He glanced my way once. Our eyes met. He looked desperate. Frustrated.

I looked away first.

That evening, I was walking past the guest quarters. Heard voices from one of the rooms. The door was slightly open.

Darian's voice. And Celeste's.

I stopped. Shouldn't have. Should have kept walking. But I couldn't.

"I understand the position you're in," Celeste was saying. "But you have to consider what's at stake. Your reputation. Your family name. Everything we worked so hard to rebuild."

"My family name died with my father," Darian replied. His voice was tired. "I'm rebuilding my own reputation. Not his."

"Are you? Because from where I stand, you're throwing it away. For what? For a wolf who doesn't trust you? Who runs every time things get difficult?"

Silence. Long. Heavy.

"She has her reasons," Darian said finally.

"Does she? Or is she just scared? Scared that you'll realize you belong with your own kind. That you'll remember what we had. What we could still have."

I should have left. Should have walked away before I heard more. But I stayed frozen. Listening.

"We don't have anything," Darian said. But his voice was softer. Weaker.

"Don't we? We have history. Understanding. A future that was planned before she ever appeared. And we have this."

Movement. I couldn't see through the crack in the door. But I heard fabric rustling. Heard Darian's sharp intake of breath.

"Celeste. Don't."

"Why not? You used to like it when I touched you here. When I did this."

My vision went red. My wolf exploded forward. I nearly shifted right there.

But I didn't. Just stood there. Frozen. Listening.

"Stop," Darian said. Firmer this time. "I'm with Lyra."

"Are you? Because she's not here. I am. And I know you, Darian. I know what you need. What you want. She can't give you that. She's too different. Too wild. Too unstable."

"You're wrong."

"Am I? Then why are we alone right now? Why did you let me stay? Why haven't you sent me away?"

"Because I owe your family—"

"You owe me. Not them. Me. I'm the one who vouched for you. Who risked everything. Who waited while you played house with a wolf."

More movement. Closer to the door. I stepped back into the shadows.

Through the crack, I saw them. Celeste pressed against Darian's chest. Her hands on his shoulders. His hands on her waist. Not pushing away. Not pulling her closer. Just there. Touching.

"I miss you," she whispered. Loud enough for me to hear. "I miss us."

Darian didn't respond. Just stood there. Holding her. Not moving. Not speaking.

My chest cracked open. Pain worse than any wound I'd ever taken flooded through me.

The bond screamed. Confused. Hurt. Demanding I do something. Say something. Fight.

I couldn't. Could only watch. Could only see him holding her. Could only hear the silence where denial should have been.

I turned and walked away. Fast. Before they could see me. Before I could do something I'd regret.

My wolf howled inside me. Rage and pain and betrayal all mixed together.

I made it to my room before I broke. Before the tears came. Before the sobs tore through my chest.

He was holding her. In his room. Alone. Touching her while I stood outside listening.

All of Celeste's words crashed back. All her careful comments. All her implications. They'd all been building to this. To me seeing them together. To me doubting everything he'd said.

And it worked. Because I believed what I'd seen. Believed the evidence of my own eyes and ears.

He wasn't free of her. Wasn't free of his past. Wasn't free to be mine.

And I couldn't keep fighting for someone who couldn't fully choose me.

My wolf whined. Confused. Hurt. Wanting her mate but not understanding why he was touching another female.

I couldn't explain it to her. Couldn't make sense of it myself.

Just lay there in the darkness. Let the pain consume me. Let the doubt take root. Let everything we'd built together crumble completely.

Tomorrow, I'd make a decision. Tomorrow, I'd do something. Tomorrow, I'd figure out how to survive this.

But tonight, I just broke.



I woke up with my face pressed into the pillow. It was damp. I'd cried in my sleep. My wolf was quiet. Too quiet. Like she'd given up fighting. I understood. I'd given up too.

I got up. Washed my face. Braided my hair. Put on clean clothes. Went through the motions like nothing had changed. Like I hadn't seen him holding her. Like I wasn't breaking apart inside.

I went to training early. Before anyone else arrived. Ran drills until my body screamed. Until the physical pain drowned out the emotional. Until I was too tired to think.

Darian found me an hour later. I felt him before I saw him. The bond pulled tight between us. Urgent. Desperate.

"Lyra," he said. His voice was rough. "We need to talk. Now."

I kept hitting the training post. "No."

"Something changed. I can feel it. Something's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Don't lie to me. The bond is screaming. What happened?"

I hit the post harder. My knuckles split. Blood ran down my hands. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He grabbed my wrist. Stopped me mid-strike. "Look at me."

I did. His gray eyes were wide. Worried. Searching my face for answers. "What happened between yesterday and today? What changed?"

"Nothing changed."

"That's not true. Yesterday you were angry. Hurt. But you were still there. Still fighting. Now you're gone. I can feel it. You've given up."

I pulled my wrist free. "Maybe I finally understand."

"Understand what?"

"That this doesn't work. That we don't work. That you're right. I'm running. I'm difficult. I'm not worth the fight."

His face went pale. "That's not what I meant—"

"Isn't it? You said I don't trust you enough. You're right. I don't. And I can't. So what's the point?"

"The point is we love each other."

"Love isn't enough."

"Since when?"

"Since I realized you'll always be tied to your past. To your debts. To her."

He flinched. "This is about Celeste."

"Yes. No. I don't know. It's about everything. About me not fitting in your world. About you not being able to fully choose me. About this being harder than it should be."

"All relationships are hard—"

"Not like this. Not this hard. Not this painful."

He reached for me. I stepped back. Put distance between us. "Don't. Please. Just don't."

"Tell me what I did. Tell me what happened. Let me fix it."

"You can't fix this."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not free. You'll never be free. And I can't keep competing with ghosts."