Chapter 16
“Drake—”
“Why did you do that?” Drake asked. “He seemed nice.”
“Because of us.”
“Us?” Drake set down his coffee mug. “Jay, there is no us.”
His breath froze in his lungs. “What? But, y-you, y-yesterday, we—” God, he was stuttering. He hadn’t stuttered since high school after speech therapy. His face flamed hot.
“I’m sorry, Jay. Yesterday was a mistake.”
“A mistake?”
Drake shook his head. “It was completely my fault. I owe you an apology. I was on the rebound. Ross and I are over for good. I had no right to barge on over there and attack you like that when you had a date coming over.”
Jay didn’t know what to say. He just stood there staring at Drake, the hope he’d allowed to feel that maybe Drake was as attracted to him as he was to Drake shriveled and died.
“You are really great, Jay,” Drake was saying. “Beautiful, sexy, irresistible, really. But you’re also young. I’m in my thirties, you’re in your twenties. There’s just too much of an age difference between us to be anything other than friends.”
How had this all gone so wrong? He’d been nervous to talk to Drake, but he’d thought in the end, he and Drake would get closer. Not this. Never this. Suddenly the scarf around his neck felt like it choked him.
“Okay,” Jay said. He’d managed that much. His fingers went to the water color scarf and he undid it and put it on the dining room table. “You’ll probably want to give that to someone else.”
“No, Jay.” Drake left the kitchen and picked up the scarf. “I bought this for you. It was a gift.”
Jay bit his lip and nodded. “Maybe you can get your money back then. It’s too expensive anyway.” His throat constricted and he knew he had to get out of there soon. “I’ll let you get ready for work. I don’t want to be the cause of you being late.”
Before he could make any more of a fool of himself, he turned around and headed for the door.
“Jay.”
The last thing he wanted was Drake telling him to keep the scarf or, worse, telling him again that the age difference between them was too much. It all boiled down to one thing. Drake didn’t want Jay after all. And he never had.
“See you around, Drake,” he called over his shoulder. He closed Drake’s apartment door behind him and went into his own place. He twisted the lock on his door and went straight down the hall and turned on the shower in his bathroom.
Jay didn’t really know why, but he wanted to take a long, hot shower and then crawl into bed and make the day go away.
Why am I so stupid, he thought as he stood under the shower spray? What had he even been thinking? Drake had never wanted him before, why would he have wanted him now? Maybe he had been the one to make the move on Drake. He thought Drake had reached for him first, but now, well, everything was muddled in his head. And Drake had just gone along with it because he was on the rebound.
Even so, he couldn’t help but be glad that Drake had said he was done with Ross. He’d never thought Ross was worthy of Drake. Whoever Drake ended up with would be lucky.
Done with his shower, Jay barely dried off. He flipped back the covers in his bed and crawled under them naked and prayed for sleep.
* * * *
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Groaning, Jay swatted around his ears, trying to stop the annoying ringing. He grabbed his pillow and wrapped it around his head.
Ring.
Ring.
He blinked rapidly and reached for the phone on his bedside table.
“Unh.”
“Is that what passes for hello now?” Geoff asked.
He wiped a hand over his eyes and sat up. “Um, I was sleeping.”
“Sleeping? It’s three in the afternoon.”
“Yeah, well.”
“How’d last night go?”
“Last night?” He frowned.
Geoff laughed. “Yeah, with Bobby.”
“Oh. Um, well, it didn’t. Long story but I canceled the date.”
“Jay.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I don’t really need a lecture right now, okay? It’s a bad day.”
Geoff’s sigh was heavy. “All right. You working tonight?”
“I was supposed to work today, but I switched with my co-worker.” His idea had been to spend the day with Drake, of course.
“Good, got any plans?”
“Not a one.”
“Tammy’s making fish tonight and there’s extra,” Geoff said.
Jay leaned against the bed’s headboard. “That sounds great. Geoff?”
“Yeah?”
“Could-could I maybe stay w-with you guys for a few days?” He swallowed, hoping Geoff really wouldn’t pester him with a bunch of questions. He didn’t want to be alone.