CHAPTER ONE
I woke up to not only my birthday but to the realization that my mother is in the hospital and my sister will be coming soon to get me so we can go visit her. I’ll be spending both my birthday and Christmas there instead of at home like we usually do every year. I’m a little depressed as I get dressed putting on my birthday present from her. Then I comb my hair and grab my keys and purse heading to the living room to wait. Before I can even sit down, I hear the horn blow and I walk to the door locking it and get into the car.
We say good morning to one another and then quietly ride to the hospital. You see a week ago my mother was admitted to the hospital after going or should I say being sent to the emergency room from the dialysis center that mog. Now it is a week later and she’s recovering from her triple bypass surgery. She was having a heart attack due to calcium buildup around parts of her heart valves. I thank God though for her coming out of these past surgeries and other ordeals cause if we go by the doctors opinions, she shouldn’t have made it through any of them. For those who don’t know or believe, I am telling you the power of prayer is amazing.
Once we finally arrived at her room on the eighth floor, we sat down and waited for her to wake up since she was still asleep. After about an hour she finally woke up and we all started talking and they wished me a happy birthday. She told us that she’ll be able to go home Wednesday if everything still goes well like it has been and she seemed very happy telling us. That’s definitely good news because I can’t wait for her to come home so I can stop coming up here. I hate hospitals and so does my mother.
Finally I am back home at about nine-thirty tonight since visitation ended at nine and I go to the bathroom for a shower then climb into my bed. “I spent my birthday in a hospital. This cannot be life.” Grabbing my pillow, I lay on my side and close my eyes slowly falling asleep. The next morning I wake up to my phone going off so I hit the snooze option on my phone and lay still for a few more minutes then I get up and text my sister to let her know that I will be ready in about fifteen minutes, then I head to the bathroom and start getting ready. Once I am done, I gather all the Christmas presents and head to the car when she gets here.
We get to the hospital and haul all the gifts up to our mother’s room and proceed to have a very different Christmas that we’re used to but a pleasant one just the same. Once again I make it home around nine-thirty and shower then crawl into bed, only tonight my phone goes off while I’m watching television and I check it to see that it’s a text. I hadn’t heard from this person in a while so if he is texting me that means he wants something, and I know exactly what it is he wants from me. I debate whether or not to answer when he texts me again.
“Hey. I saw you at the hospital earlier but I think you were leaving. I would have talked to you but I had to get on the clock.”
“Hello. Oh okay. I was heading home after visiting my mother.”
“How is she doing? Do you need me to come over?”
If I needed him to come over I would have called or texted. This is the same song and dance he does every time he wants sex. I don’t understand why he never just comes out and says what he wants. All of this is frustrating and unnecessary.
“Yeah she’s doing great. I don’t need you to come over, but you can if you want to when you get off of work.”
“I’m glad she’s doing good. Okay, I’ll come check on you when I get off and I’ll come visit her when she gets out.” I sit in my bed reading over his message rolling my eyes the entire time and laughing before finally answering.
“Okay that’s fine with me. Well I am tired and had a long day so I will see you tomorrow. Good night.”
Placing my phone on the charger I lay down and continue watching my movie until I fall asleep. When I wake up the next morning I see a text from my mother saying that she won’t be getting out today, but definitely tomorrow. My heart dropped because I really wanted her to come home. I don’t let myself wallow for too long. “Well it’s just one more day. I can wait that long.” I get up and then get dressed and make myself some coffee and she texts again telling me not to come up there anytime soon because she’s going to dialysis. I text her back saying “okay” and start to take some sausage out to thaw and peels some potatoes. “I’ll make smothered sausage and potatoes for dinner tonight.” When I finish peeling and cleaning the potatoes I cut them up along with the sausage and put them into the crock pot to cook.
While the food is cooking, I begin straightening up the house and just as I’m about to lay on my couch and watch a movie after all the cleaning someone rings the doorbell. “Are you serious? Who is just popping up at my house?” I get up and head to the door to see him standing on my porch. After making him wait a little while I unlock and open the wooden door keeping my glass door locked. He must have been able to tell I was annoyed because he looked at me smiling nervously. I take a deep breath then unlock the glass door and let him in pointing towards the couch as I lock the doors again then sit cross-legged back in my spot on the couch. In order to calm myself, I take two more deep breaths before finally speaking.
“Darrell, what are you doing here?”
He looked at me confused then he said, “ I told you I was going to come check on you. Don’t you remember?”
Times like these I really want to ring his neck but instead I just take another deep breath.
“Darrell of course I remember. Let me rephrase the question. What are you doing showing up without calling or texting first?” Now I’m unfolding my legs and stretching them a little waiting for him to answer and he grabs both of them putting them on his lap and begins massaging my feet. I won’t lie and say that it didn’t feel good but I needed him to answer me so I pulled them back slightly and cleared my throat. “Are you going to answer me?” I was getting impatient. Normally this would not bother me this much but I was already annoyed and frustrated dealing with my mother and other issues so I really wasn’t in the mood for him today. He looked at me and pulled my feet back towards him and began massaging them again. He began to speak just as I was taking a breath to tell him off.
“ Well, I just figured you already knew I was coming so I just stopped by while I was already out running errands.” Was I going insane? Did he really just use that as his reason for very clearly disobeying the rules? He knows damn well that he isn’t just supposed to pop up unannounced. Flings or casual sex or whatever you want to call this has rules to follow for a reason. I also have my own personal rules which I went over with him and the other two guys I’ve been having sex with though I’ve gotten rid of thm so currently he’s the only one. I probably should not have told him though cause I believe it has gone to his head. When we met we were both looking for the same thing and I thought it was a perfect match, but I am not so sure anymore. He seems to be developing some kind of feelings and I have to stop that right now. As I let him continue massaging my feet, I began speaking.
“Okay, I don’t know what you’re thinking but we have rules for a reason. I mean just because you’re the only one at the moment, that does not mean that you can pop up here. The fact that you were already out isn’t an excuse. You have a phone so you could have called or texted. What if I wasn’t home? You know my mama was supposed to be going home today.” He looked at me and nodded like he was thinking about what I was saying.
“If you weren’t home I would have just gone back home. It really isn’t that big of a deal boo.” For the second time today I want to strangle him.
“Let me come at you from a different angle because clearly you aren’t getting what I’m saying. We are not a couple so you can’t just come over whenever you feel like it without calling. I may have been out, had friends or family over, or even another guy over here and you showing up unannounced wouldn’t have been good if another guy was here. How would you feel if I just popped up to your place?’ Asking that question was a long shot but I tried it anyway.
“Alright boo, I see where you are coming from and I will call next time. How’s your mom?”
“Thank you. That’s all I ask and my mother is good. She will definitely be coming home tomorrow.” He looks at me and smiles very mischievously and before I can ask why he’s smiling my legs are underneath him and he’s on top of me kissing my neck and I let out a soft moan once my shock wears off. His hands are traveling all over my body and I slowly get into it until he makes the mistake of trying to suck on my neck. Quickly I slapped his arm, but not too hard, but hard enough to get his attention and pushed him off of me.
“Damnit Darrell you know better!”
“What did I do?” He asked me this with a slight smile while trying to look innocent, but I’m not buying his act.
“You know damn well what you tried to do and you know I don’t allow anyone to do that to me.”
“I don’t get what’s wrong with passion marks. Why do you hate them so much? I was just going with the mood boo.”
“Nothing is wrong with them and I don’t hate them, but I don’t want them on me. I never understood letting someone mark you like a piece of property.” Those words will definitely come back to bite me in the future little did I know.
“That’s not what it means though boo. It is just another way of expressing how…” I cut him off before he could finish.
“How what? Did you mean how someone possibly feels about the other person? Is that what you were going to say, because if so, I think we need to end this now.” He climbed off of me and sat down looking away from me then suddenly stood up and picked me up carrying me to my room and put me on the bed then took off his clothes and mine. I just laid there both shocked and a little turned on before he climbed on top of me and entered me fast and deep. I let out a loud moan as he started thrusting faster and deeper inside me. He lasted for ten minutes before he came and I just laid there looking at him and thought to myself “Why am I dealing with this ten minute man” then rolled away from him and went to the bathroom to get him a towel. I came back to the room and laid down handing him the towel and started thinking about why I never wanted a relationship. He moved but I figured he was just getting ready to get upso I kept thinking about the reasons I rather be alone when he turned and I felt arms wrapping around me. Panicking I jumped up and out of bed breathing heavily. I backed up until I was against my closet door and tried to calm my breathing. “Well that was unexpected” I thought to myself. That hasn’t happened in years and I thought I was alright but apparently I’m still having an issue.
“Boo are you okay? What just happened?”
Suddenly I had a flash of something that happened to me when I was younger and I quickly started picking up his clothes and told him to get dressed then started putting mine on and went back to the living room. Moments later he showed up still looking very confused. I really felt bad and tried to smile at him because he sort of didn’t do anything wrong. Cuddling is a definite no no as far as things that we can or can’t do is concerned but I would never react badly if someone were to want to do that afterwards. Then again considering what just happened I don’t think that he or anyone else will be trying that ever again.
He sits down next to me and I look down playing with my fingers then I feel him grab my hands and hold onto them massaging my knuckles and I start to calm down a little before looking up at him.
“I don’t know what happened. That has never happened before so I can’t give you an explanation, okay?” He doesn’t need to know the truth.
“Alright, well I have to run somewhere else before I head home for a nap before work tonight. You want me to check on you again tomorrow?”
Smiling a little I just shake my head and sigh. “ I don’t think that would be a great idea. How about you wait for me to call you. I need to figure out whatever this is plus my mom gets out tomorrow so I will be with her most of the day.”
He smiles back and gives me a hug before heading to the door. I walk behind him and wait until he gets into his SUV before I close and lock my door. “I need another shower.”
After dinner I sit in my bed with a glass of red wine and one of my books and curl up ready to read when my phone goes off. It is a text message from my sister saying she will be here to pick me up in the morning to go have coffee and breakfast. That usually means that she has something to tell me. I text her back to let her know I’d be ready and rolling my eyes putting my phone on the charger after setting the alarm. Picking up my book, I open it to the page I was on and snuggle under my covers sipping my wine every now and then. After an hour I put down the book and finish off my glass of wine before laying down and slowly falling asleep. The next morning I awoke to my doorbell ringing non-stop and angrily got out of bed putting on my robe and slippers stomping and yelling the closer I got to the front door.
“WHO IS IT?!” I yell at the person on the other side. I have no idea what time it is because I didn’t look at my phone before getting out of bed but I did know that it had to be very early in the morning because the sun was barely rising.
“It’s me.” Is this person serious? It is too early for these games.
“Who the hell is me? I don’t know anyone named me, so try again.” Normally I wouldn’t do all of this but I’m pissed. First Darrell popped up to my house yesterday and now so is this asshole. He must be drunk or maybe she finally kicked his cheating ass out, but either way why is he here on my doorstep this early in the morning?
“Baby come on. It’s Keith. Let me in the house.” I began laughing loudly and hysterically. This dude has some nerve.
“You need to go home. I’m sure you will be let into that house.” I turn to start going back to my room when he starts to ring my doorbell while yelling my name. Great! The last thing I need is for my nosey neighbors to come out or call the cops, so I go back to the door and quickly unlock both of them pulling him into the house and locking the doors again. I quickly turn toward him and give him a look that could kill.
“Have you lost what little mind you have in that big ass head of yours? I have neighbors, you idiot!”
“I need to talk to you baby.”
“We have nothing to say to each other. Everything was said that needed to be said two months ago.” I head to the kitchen to make myself some coffee and I hear his breath hitch a little.
“Quit looking at my ass Keith.” He always does that when he looks at my ass. I used to think it was cute but not anymore. There isn’t much about him that I find cute anymore truth be told.
“How’d you know I was looking?”
“Your breathing changes.”
“Seriously? I didn’t know.”
“Yeah. Look, why are you here? I don’t have time for small talk.”
“I miss you baby. I miss us and what he had together.” Again I laugh and just as fast as I start, it stops.
“Who do you think you’re talking to Keith? We didn’t have anything but sex together. You’re the one that caught feelings and I could forgive that but are you forgetting the reason I ended things?” My voice was rising now but I didn’t care cause I was pissed. How dare he act like I just ended things for no reason.
“Baby I know but why should we let that stop us? We were happy and you can’t deny we have the most amazing sex.” Amazing sex or not he knows why we can’t do anything together ever again and if he won’t say it, I will.
“ You’re married! Do you get that? You’re married and you didn’t tell me. I asked you if you were involved with anyone else and you said no! I straight up asked if you had a girlfriend or a wife and again you said no! You lied to me in my face just as easy as pie.”
“I know and I’m sorry but baby you know I’m not happy with her.”