Chapter 15 15
Amelia's POV:
Even though my mind felt like a half-written book with missing pages, there was a voice in my head that whispered that the world around me was not as it seemed. Every answer, and every explanation, felt as if someone else had arranged their sentences for them, it felt as though they were compelled by Denary.
But why? Why would Denary forbid them from telling me the truth? What could he possibly be hiding?
What could I have forgotten that would make him keep the truth locked away? Did I do something unforgivable?
Is that why he is distant to protect me from my own guilt?
Or… did he do something wrong? Is that why he won’t look at me for long because he was carrying guilt of his own?
“Are you okay, my lady?” Mei’s voice pulled me abruptly back into the room, back into my own body. I blinked, realizing I was seated on a cushioned stool before my mirror while Mei worked her fingers through my hair.
I forced out a smile but it didn't reach my eyes.
“Yes, I’m fine ” I lied softly. But as my gaze drifted to my reflection, I asked myself. ‘What is the point of looking beautiful if my own mate never looks at me or touches me?’
I sighed again, louder this time. “My lady… are you certain you’re all right?” Mei asked, her hands pausing mid-braid.
This time I didn’t pretend. “No.” I murmured. “I… suppose I’m not.”
“Have I done something wrong?” She asked, genuinely concerned. Is the hairstyle displeasing? Or do you need something?”
“I need answers.” I replied.
Mei hesitated and I could the way her
shoulders stiffened, and the flicker of fear in her eyes.
“It’s all right.” I said quietly. “You don’t have to tell me anything, I know you all can’t.”
But suddenly Mei reached forward and lightly touched my arm. “My lady… I will try.” She said softly. “I will answer whatever I know, though… there is very little that a maid is permitted to know.”
I turned slightly to face her. “Then tell me this: Do you think Denary cares about me?
Mei drew in a slow breath. “If he didn't, then he wouldn't have saved you and brought you to Bloodmoon Pack.”
“Do you know where I was found?”
“No, my lady.” She shook her head immediately. “Only those who were present when he rescued you would know that.”
“And who were those people?”
“Other than Alpha Denary, Jasper, and the Blood Rage Army.”
I swallowed hard as Mei continued. “The Blood Rage Army is fiercely loyal to Alpha Denary, so they would never answer your questions. Not because they do not respect you, but because they are not allowed to speak about the Alpha… or to the Alpha’s woman.”
“So the only other option left is Jasper?” I asked and Mei nodded.
He always looked at me like I was something unpleasant, so he will definitely not provide answers to my question.
Sighing, I said. “So I may never truly know what happened.”
“Perhaps not.” Mei lowered her eyes. “But since Alpha Denary saved you and kept you safe all this time, then he must truly care for you.”
Honestly, I doubted Mei’s because nothing about the distance in his eyes felt like care.
But still… if he saved me… if he brought me here… then I should at least try to be good to him and make him happy. And if there is one thing I know about men, it is that other than filling their stomachs, there is one other thing that brings them undeniable happiness.
“Mei.” I said softly. “Do you know when Denary will return from the capital?”
“No, my lady. We are never informed of such things.” She replied. “But based on past patterns, he usually returns from the capital very late.”
I lifted my chin slightly. “Then… tonight, Mei… make me as beautiful as possible.”
Her eyes widened just slightly. “As you wish, my lady.”
The day passed quietly with Mei and I reading together, learning more about the Pack’s long history, while sipping herbal teas in the library until the sun fell behind the hills. By evening, I bathed in rose-scented water, anointed myself with soft essential oils and perfumed my pulse points. Then Mei helped me slip into a light nightdress, and tied my hair up with care.
When Mei was finished, I felt pretty and terrified as I made my way to Denary’s room with trembling fingers and sat on his bed, forcing myself to stay awake for as long as I could remember until the doorknob turned. I sat upright, heart pounding as the door pushed open and Denary stepped in. His eyes widened the moment he saw me. I met his gaze and slowly as I let my robe slip down my shoulders. Then I lifted one strap of my gown, lowering it with trembling fingers.
And when began walking toward me slowly, I thought. ‘Finally.’ But when he reached me, he caught my wrist then he guided my hand back up, pulling the strap into place. He lifted the robe and wrapped it around me, covering me completely.
But I tried to pull the robe off again, desperate to bridge the distance but he placed his hand over mine, stopping me once more.
“Stop!” He ordered, coldly. Then he turned around and walked out. While I sat there on the bed, wholly humiliated. And the only thought that formed in my mind was. ‘He is only with me out of pity.’