Chapter 118 WRONG
WILLA'S POV
The showerhead relentlessly rained semi-hot water as I stood beneath it, loving the way it warmed my skin. It was just the right temperature to soothe my irritation with Gallahan and his petty jealousy.
For bloody hell's sake! I was able to look past and even completely move on from my jealousy over his close relationship with Zuleika and Maliya. And yet he couldn't do the same with my friendship with Lewis!
The same Lewis who was a gay man!
Ugh.
A fresh new wave of annoyance surged in my chest at the mere thought of it.
I exhaled loudly as I lathered my body with soap, scrubbing harshly as I remembered I had intended to tell Gallahan how my conversation with Lewis went.
I had set boundaries with him in consideration of Gallahan's feelings, telling my dear friend that since the Fen Cottage was also Gallahan's home now, Lewis should inform me ahead of time should he wish to visit, instead of coming and going as he pleased like he always did.
Lewis was very gracious and understanding about the matter, taking it all in a stride and a kind smile. He didn't even bat an eye or raise a brow when I dropped the news that we would be moving to Moonshire soon for our safety.
But then Gallahan had welcomed me with a wry greeting. My intention to tell him about my exchange with Lewis was eviscerated in a heartbeat and was replaced with the feeling of pure exhaustion because I knew we were heading to another fight.
AGAIN!
Ugh.
My mood was ruined, and the relaxing shower was all I had as comfort at the moment.
It was while I was rinsing the fragrant suds of my soap that a series of knocks disturbed my pseudo-sanctuary in the bathroom.
I flipped the tap to stop the showerhead's steady stream, and complete silence quickly enveloped the bathroom.
"Willa?"
"What?" I said, my voice still ringing with ire.
A loud and heavy sigh then came from the other side of the door. "I know you're mad, and I'm sorry. For being immature and just... overall petty. I'm also sorry for not helping with getting the twins to bed. I just..."
There was a soft groan, then a mild thud followed, giving me the image that Gallahan stood near the door with his hand and forehead pressed against the smooth surface.
It urged me to quickly wrap myself in my bathrobe, foregoing the need to towel-dry myself first. But then I didn't have the guts to actually open the door and face Gallahan.
So I just stood there like a loon, a hand wrapped tightly against the doorknob.
"Let's talk when we're more level-headed about this, yeah? I'll just..." Another huff of heavy exhale interrupted Gallahan. But he managed to carry on, somehow finding the bravery he needed to bear his heart to me and be vulnerable. "I'll head back to Moonshire tonight. I'll bring my key with me so I can get back first thing in the morning. I don't want the twins to wonder or worry about me leaving so suddenly. I just think that it's best for us to be apart tonight and gather our thoughts about our relationship. Because you're right. We always just fight and make up. A cycle that has repeated over and over again. I hate to think we haven't completely outgrown who we were back in the war, Willa. I am scared that..."
There was a weighted pause, allowing silence to consume us for a couple of heartbeats. But it only took me one beat to know what he had left unsaid.
"That we are still as different and foolish as we were back then," I finished for him, heavily feeling the last dregs of the warmth from my hot shower leave my body.
Suddenly, I felt too cold and... bereft.
"Yeah," Gallahan affirmed. "I'm really sorry, Willa. I'm especially sorry that I ruined today. Let's give ourselves some time to think. At least one night."
I didn't want to. I truly didn't want to be apart from him, and a huge, huge, huuuuge part of me was bloody frightened that a night of thinking would lead Gallahan to believe that a healthy relationship between us was a pipe dream. That it still wasn't time for us to be together just as it wasn't time for us during the war. I didn't want him to reach the conclusion that maybe co-parenting was the best way to go about our family, especially because of the threat looming over us as his loved ones.
Even then... Even though every fiber of my being didn't want to agree to him leaving tonight, I swallowed my fears and said, "Okay. If that is what you think we need."
"I will be back, Willa..."
But his vow, no matter the pure sincerity it held, did nothing to soothe my worries.
It only drove the knife deeper, leaving me breathless. So I could only manage to whisper my reply. "And then we'll talk?"
"And then we'll talk."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry, Willa."
"I'm sorry too."
Letting our apologies be our parting words, Gallahan then left.
I allowed myself a minute or two to linger inside the bathroom, mentally preparing myself for the sight of our room being devoid of Gallahan after cradling the bright hope that everything was already settled between us. Obviously, it was a foolish hope.
That night, I wore Gallahan's shirt which was long enough to cover the comfortable lounge shorts I chose to pair it with.
But the comfort of the soft fabric of his shirt and the knowledge that I still had something of his were both useless against the fears that gripped my mind and fed me with endless thoughts of what-ifs.
But as sleep gradually took hold of me around a couple of hours after Gallahan left, a piercing scream that made my blood run cold jolted me back to alertness.
"AAAAAHHH! MOMMY"
"NO! MOMMY!"
I jumped off the bed, swaying slightly on my feet from the suddenness of my movements.
But I managed to regain my bearings quickly, the desperation to get to Calisto and Gillian fueling me in ways only mothers would understand.
Except for me, it was way worse. Because every nerve of my body was on fire and alarm bells were ringing in my mind like mad, the parental blood link working into overdrive just to tell me that something was awfully wrong.
But even with my own parental blood link working as it should be since the twins were in the midst of danger, I had no hope that Gallahan could sense the same thing.
I was on my own in protecting the twins tonight.