Chapter 238

Chapter 238
"You got this. Kick some ass," I smiled up at him, and he smiled back.

"I love you," he said and gave me one last sweet kiss on the lips.

"I love you, too, my little degenerate," I grinned, and he rolled his eyes at me with an equally loving grin.

I watched as Asmodeus hopped in the driver's seat and pulled out of the driveway, shooting me a last little look as they drove away. I smiled and waved encouragingly, but once they were out of sight I let myself frown as my heart pounded in my chest. The unworried front I had put up about this hearing was only down for a few moments before I walked inside, putting it back up for Layla and Jake's sake.

As the three of them talked amongst themselves, I brought Jake into the kitchen to get him something to eat real quick. As I got some stuff together, I noticed him staring at the picture that Asmodeus had in the kitchen of their parents.

"I don't really remember them," his little voice spoke, and I stopped what I was doing, my breath pausing as I turned to look at him, "Would that happen with Asmodeus if I lost him, too?" His eyes were big and slightly watery when he looked back up to meet my gaze, and I felt my heart break for him.

"You won't lose him," I said, walking over and sitting down on the chair next to him to put my hand on his shoulder. I knew it was true, too, because like I said to Asmodeus- even if he lost custody, he would never lose them. Jake didn't look like he believed me, so I stuck out my pinkie. He looked at it confused.

"Do you not know what a pinkie promise is?" I asked, not entirely surprised since it had been only Asmodeus raising him until recently when Layla came back. He shook his head 'no'. "Okay, so basically I say a promise, and then we link our pinkies together and it makes it a super-promise promise," I explained, and his brows raised a little at the power of a 'super-promise promise'.

He nodded his head, understanding, and then reached up to link his pinkie through mine before I said what the promise was. "Silly goose, you link your pinkie through mine after I say what it is," I chuckled, removing his pinkie from mine. He smiled bashfully. "I promise that you won't lose Asmodeus, or Layla, or any of the rest of us. We love you to much to ever let you go," I said, and this time I tapped him to let him know to link his pinkie through mine.

He smiled when our pinkies locked, and it made me smile, too. He giggled and we pulled our pinkies away before Layla walked into the kitchen to get some water. Jake trotted off, leaving me with her, and I frowned over to her as she stood with her back facing me, sipping her water and shaking slightly.

"Layla," I spoke gently, getting up and making my way next to her. She faced me and immediately tried to cover up her nerves, but her shaking hands and reddened eyes made this impossible. She must have realized this, since she let her fake small fall.

"I'm trying to keep it together, for the both of them," she told me, "I mean, someone needs the lady-balls in this family," she joked and chuckled before a tear fell. She quickly wiped it off of her cheek and looked back to me.

"Layla, even if he somehow does lose custody, which he won't, then my mom would snatch you guys up, or even any of the rest of us would, too. You're not going back, and Jake isn't going with you," I reassured her, and she looked a little speechless

"When it first happened, I, just," she paused, finding her words, "there was no one else who could take me in, that's why my mom had to send me away... but it's different now, and I guess I keep just going back to all those years ago when there wasn't any other option than to be put in the system. That helpless feeling is sort of burned into me," she explained, and I understood completely. "Thank you for helping ground me," she said sincerely, and I smiled softly, bringing her into a hug.

We all spent a little more time together before they all had to go, and I said goodbye to them as they drove off. I felt so so terrible that I couldn't be there with and for them all, but I knew that there was a pretty good chance that I would have just made it even more difficult with all my goddamn court triggers.

When I got back to my house, my mom was making some lunch for Connor and her, and she started making some extra when she saw me walk in and greeted me with a smile. As she was getting it all ready, I went to my room to change into even comfier clothes and Connor joined me, telling me that he would wait outside until I was changed like a proper little gentleman. When I told him I was finished and chuckled, he strolled in with his adorable, bouncy steps.

I was obviously stressed as fk, so when I fell down onto my bed and Connor crawled on top of me, I smiled softly and hugged him to me, taking it in and feeling his little arms coddle my soul a bit as they remained wrapped around me.

"Cwyssie?" Hs asked, moving to sit upright on my lap as I sat up against my headboard.

"Mhm?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight, I hadz a bad dream last night," he asked, and I pulled him in for another hug.

"Of course little dude," I said into his blonde hair, "any night you want."

When we pulled away from the hug, he went to tickle me in celebration, but I got to him first. The two of us were laughing and he was squealing as I tickled him relentlessly- until my mom came in telling us our lunch was ready. She had been really getting into cooking and food as an outlet- which is one of the most successful strategies that she had yet taken from rehab- and I was really really proud of her for it. (And a tad jealous of Connor for all the good food he was about to grow up having).

I tried my hardest to let the scrumptious food that she prepared be a distraction from the anxiety riddling my senses due to this court hearing. And I tried not to think too much about what was going on at it..