Chapter Twenty-Five-1

"Can I ask you something?" Before I had the chance to talk myself out of my intentions, I geared myself up to begin a conversation that would no doubt test limits. I knew Will enough to comfortably engage in serious matters, but this could have the potential to push certain boundaries. "Sure." Deep breath in, Rosie! Here goes. "Do you think Jen panics about Max and his appendix because of what happened to your sister?" My enquiry was intended to be that of concern, though I feared it came across as interfering. Will had previously opened up to me about his youngest sister and I couldn't help but link her tragic death to Jen's over protective nature towards her Son. "Erm...Yeah. I think we all do," he replied, thankfully impartial. "I can't imagine what it must feel like to watch your child suffer. I bet she was beside herself when he was in hospital," I continued, fighting the need to break eye contact. I had no idea what provoked me to say such a thing but assumed it had something to do with wanting to feel closer to Will. He adored his family and the more I knew of them, the greater my involvement with him seemed. "Apparently she was," he informed, offering me a sad smile. "What do you mean, apparently? Were you not there?" Will's entire body stiffened as I asked; his hesitation on the matter unavoidable. "No, unfortunately not." His guilt over being absent during such a crucial time was clearly weighing heavy on his shoulders, no doubt crushing him whole. I could only imagine how demanding his job must be and hated the thought of it keeping him away from a family crisis. "Were you on tour?" I questioned, sympathising with him to some extent. "Or working?" "Rosie..." "Sorry, is it hard for you to talk about?" I asked, sensing his resilience. I'd never seen him retreat so much and momentarily kicked myself for being the main cause behind such a reaction. Sure, I knew the subject was delicate but I never would have brought it up had I known he'd close himself off from me. "I never wanted to tell you this," he sighed, running a trembling hand through his dark brown locks. "My Mum insisted I should but I thought it best I didn't." "Tell me what?" I enquired, grabbing his hands when he started unknowingly backing away. "You can tell me anything." He stalled a moment longer before finally opening his mouth to speak. I could tell what he was about to say was out of obligation and feared I had bitten off far more than I could chew. "I wasn't there the night Max took ill..." he began, physically struggling. "I wasn't there because I was arrested on my way to the hospital." The very breath I had been taking faltered in the back of my throat, rendering me momentarily useless. I couldn't think straight and decided to get full confirmation before attempting anything else. "The accident?" "I- I wasn't on my phone and I wasn't drunk but I'll admit I was driving too fast," he stammered, seemingly frantic. Oh, no! "And my Dad?" I asked, unsure as to why. "He didn't deserve it, Rosie. He didn't deserve to die and I'm so, so sorry-" His entire body sunk into mine, feeling like deadweight in my arms. Head buried deep in my chest, he continued to hold me tight and never once showed signs of letting up. Not even when impatient tourists pushed past us. "I know you are," I soothed, unable to say much else. Emotions of the varied sort pulled me in every which direction, threating to overwhelm me if I wasn't careful. Relief, guilt, confusion; all of them passed through me at an unforgiving pace, intensifying to the point of no return. "I drank the last of the milk that day," I stated, prompting him to pull away slightly. "There was none left for cereal in the morning, so Dad offered to drive to the shop. I should've gone but I didn't." Silence. "We all wish we could've done things differently but unfortunately, it won't change the outcome. We can't go back in time and change our actions but what we can do is learn from our mistakes," I insisted, holding his gaze with my own look of totally determination. "You'll always live with your guilt and I won't ever try to change that." My need for him to accept my declaration outweighed all rationality and before I could take into consideration our surroundings, I selfishly reached up and kissed his luscious lips. At first, it was sweet but eventually our desperation for one another took control and in no time at all, my actions became involuntary. We both continued to ignore the inappropriateness of our behaviour and did so by holding on to each other as though our lives depended on it. And perhaps they did. Sure, I had lived twenty-two years before meeting Will but to what extent was I really living? The need to put other people's happiness before my own was something I did instinctively and as a result of that, I had become a walking contradiction. But I was no longer ashamed of it. Like Will said, it wasn't a bad thing and once I established the correct balance between mine and my loved ones happiness, all would be resolved. "Take me back to the hotel," I begged, breathlessly revealing my demand. "What? Why? Are you okay?" His inability to pick up on my intention gave me no option but to out-right laugh in his beautiful face. "I'm fine. I meant take me to bed." "Bed?" I thought Zoe said this part would be easy? "Our bed. At the hotel." The penny took a while to drop but once it did, I was relieved to find him just as willing to bail on our dinner plans as me. He didn't even need Google Maps to assist in his needs and simply got us back to the hotel through the use of perception alone. Impressive. "If anyone asks, I was the perfect gentleman all night and even paid for dessert," he smirked, pulling me through the entrance doors. "Okay," I giggled, skidding across the marble floor in my newly purchased shoes. The journey up to the fourth floor was completely chaotic and as far away from PG as one could get. Moans of pleasure filled the tiny elevator and had it not been my first time, I was sure Will would've taken to the idea of doing me right there and then. His desperation was like nothing else I had ever experienced and resembled that of primal hunger. He was no stranger to the act of intimacy and I could only hope he'd smoothly lead us both through the procedure, because me? I had no idea what I was doing. "Wrap your legs around me," he demanded, beckoning me with a squeeze to my bottom. I obliged, no questions asked and fell straight into his open arms, ungracefully so. His mouth found mine amongst the bedlam of everything and sought out my tongue, devouring it in an instant. "Won't there be cameras in here?" I breathed, finding great difficulty in stopping. "Don't care." Came his reply; hips grinding into my own. Delightful. "Ooooh!" It felt liberating to be experiencing all these sensations for the first time and although I struggled to keep up with them all, I certainly wasn't complaining. Will was assertive when it came to my needs and never once took the situation too far. He already had a great sense of my limits. "Back pocket...key card," he mumbled, never once taking his lips away from mine. I just about managed to sneak my hand around his back and upon doing so, prompted the elevator doors to ping open, revealing an empty corridor. Thank Goodness! With my legs wrapped firmly around Will's waist and my hand currently wedged in his trouser pocket, I could only imagine what sort of profanities we must've been displaying. "Found it?"