Chapter 113

My panic had stopped as Wictor’s question choked me to the core.

“What?” I asked.

“Marry me. I will take care of you, and the baby. I will claim it as my own. No one will ever need to know the truth. I will love the little thing, you know I will. And we can raise the baby together. We’ll be a family,” he told me. I could see the sincerity in his eyes. He thought this was the best idea.

“One, you’re an idiot,” I told him. “Two, I love you,” I continued and kissed his cheek. “Three, don’t you think people would start to question why the baby is … you know… white?” I finally asked.

“Oh, well, yeah, that might be hard to explain,” he admitted.

“And what about Anthony?” I asked.

“What about him? We can all move in together. Say he’s a friend or something.”

“You really are an idiot. I don’t think he would enjoy that. I know I wouldn’t. Everyone would assume I had an affair with ‘the best friend’ or that we were a thrupple. I think I will just deal with people looking down at me for being a single mother,” I told him.

“Fine. But you are not alone. Screw Hunter, you and I, and probably Anthony, can do this. We’ll be the cool uncles that the kid loves more than their mother because we let them do whatever they want. I can teach them how to draw, paint and do digital art and Anthony… well, someone needs to help them with their maths homework,” Wictor said. How I loved this man. From the moment he had knocked on my door that night he had been looking out for me.

“You think I can do it?” I asked.

“I know you can. You are strong. I know you don’t think of yourself like that, but you are.”

“I’m only strong because you are always there to prop me up when I can’t do it on my own,” I told him.

“And I always will be. You and I are family, and now that family is growing.” He wasn’t wrong. Maybe I could do this.

“I need to tell Hunter,” I said to Wictor.

“Are you sure?” he asked. I nodded.

“I can’t keep something like this from him. We still run into each other and I don’t think I could take it if he thought the child was someone else’s. He has a right to know. I will just say that I expect nothing from him. But I need a clear conscience going into this. Fuck, am I really doing this?” I asked Wictor.

“Yes you are,” he told me. I couldn’t hold back the smile. It was such a relief to accept that I didn’t have to terminate the pregnancy. I wasn’t alone. Even if I wouldn’t have Hunter, I would have Wictor. And probably Anthony. At some point, I knew I would have to have a tough conversation with my child about why their father wasn’t in the picture. But I could do that. If they were loved, we could get through it. Wictor stayed for a couple of hours and made sure I had dinner before he left. I had made him promise to only tell Anthony and to swear him to silence. I wasn’t ready for this to get out yet. I sighed and pulled out my phone to text Hunter. I typed and retyped the text six times before hitting send.

Me: Hi. Do you have time for lunch sometime this week or next?

I put the phone away, to pick it up the next second. I repeated this action until I felt I needed to stop. I had just decided I wouldn’t look at it, when it buzzed to let me know I had a new message.

H: Hi. Of course. I have a client meeting tomorrow. How about the day after? Should I pick you up and we can go to the sushi place?

Me: The day after next works for me. How about we go to the Italian place at the end of the promenade?

I couldn’t think of a good reason to tell him I didn’t eat sushi at the moment. I was hoping he wouldn’t ask.

H: Sure. I’ll meet you there at twelve?

Me: That sounds good. I’ll see you then. Thank you for agreeing.

H: Always.

I had a day and a half to think about how to tell him.

I was walking to the restaurant. I had tried to make a plan on how to handle this conversation. But I still drew a blank. My plan was to not have a plan. To just go with it. Hunter was waiting outside. He looked as handsome as ever, and my traitorous heart skipped several beats as he saw me and gave me a smile.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” I replied. I didn’t know if I should hug him or not. So I didn’t and for a moment we just looked at each other.

“Should we head inside?” he suggested.

“Right, I’m starving,” I told him. We went inside and took a table in the corner, it was perfect for having private conversations.

“Is everything okay? You look… tired,” Hunter said after we had ordered. I did my best to smile.

“It’s fine, but I have been feeling a little tired of late,” I confessed.

“Is it the bakery? I hope there isn’t any trouble.”

“No, no. The bakery is doing fine, better than expected. It’s really nothing to worry about,” I said. I knew this was probably the last time I would see Hunter. Before, we could have remained friends to some extent. But with the baby, I knew Hunter would want to keep away, and I didn’t blame him. I just wanted one last meal. We talked and ate and everything felt relaxed, even if I caught Hunter giving me worried glances every now and then. When we were done eating, I knew my time had run out. “So. This has been nice,” I said.

“It has,” he agreed.

“But I have something I need to tell you.”

“I figured,” he told me and put his hand over mine. “You can tell me anything.”

“First off, I need you to know that I’m sorry. I never wanted this to happen. But it has and that is just what it is,” I said. Hunter squeezed my hand.

“You are making me worrid, Hana. Tell me what is wrong, and we will fix it.” I almost flinched at the words ‘fix it’.

“Do you remember that day in court, in the bathroom?” I asked. A smirk appeared on Hunter’s face.

“That is not something you forget, sweetness,” he told me. I felt myself blush.

“Right. Well. We got a little… carried away. We forgot to use protection,” I said.

“Oh.” He looked to be thinking. “You're right,” he then said. He didn’t seem to connect the dots.

“I’m pregnant,” I said. I just threw it out there and then watched him. I could see the blood drain from his face and his hand that had been placed over mine was withdrawn. I had expected this, but it still hurt. A small part of me had still had hope that he would see it differently when it was a reality. But I knew that was not a realistic scenario. Hunter had been clear about how he felt. The silence grew between us, and it wasn't the nice kind I was used to when I was with Hunter. This felt pressing. “I’m not expecting anything from you. You don’t have to be involved or even acknowledge this. I just couldn’t not tell you. It felt too much like lying to you, and I can’t do that,” I tried to explain. Hunter looked at me for the first time since I had told him and he smiled. But it wasn’t a genuine smile.

“It’s okay, Hana. You don’t have to do this alone. I will do the right thing,” he told me. I felt like he had punched me in the gut. The tone of his voice made him sound like a stranger.

“No,” I said. Hunter looked surprised. “That is not why I told you. We will be fine. I can’t terminate the pregnancy. I don’t have the heart to do it. But I won’t take anything from you. We are not an obligation that you need to take care of. We deserve more than that. I know you are shocked. I sprung this out of nowhere. I was shocked as well. But please know that you are not obligated to us. I want you to be happy, not tied down. We will be fine. I’m not alone. I have people. If you want to talk, or have questions, you know where to find me.” I stood up and placed my hand on his shoulder. Hunter still looked shell shocked. I squeezed his shoulder and smiled. “It will all be okay. Take care of yourself.” He said nothing, so I walked away. I had to leave. If I stayed, I would cry. I had been so good and hadn't cried in all of this. I refused to break down in a restaurant. I needed to get back to the bakery and get on with the afternoon. I needed to start planning for the future.