Mika Xarion

Mika Xarion
I groaned, opening my eyes with a smile as my mind went back to last night.
“Hey” Darius called from beside me, the covers slightly down, giving me the perfect view of his well sculptured chest.
“Hi” i muttered. A sigh of relief washing over me as i saw him.
He was still breathing, he was still alive. I get to have one more day with him.
“how did you sleep?” he groaned, stretching as he moved on the bed like a worm.
“my body hurts” i said, still smiling at him. He shot up from the bed, reaching for my shoulders to give me a massage “Darius…” i called, stopping him midway. “it’s fine, i enjoyed every second of it” i said, looking him straight in the eye so he would know that i meant every word. He looked at me for a moment, before nodding
I fought the smile that made it’s way to my lips as my mind went back to the way Darius had held me last night. The way he’d touched me like i was the most precious thing in the world, like I wasn’t something fragile about to shatter. There had been reverence in it, devotion. As if he was memorising me just as desperately as I had been memorising him.
I smiled wider, pressing my face into the pillow, feeling heat rush to my cheeks.
For a brief, selfish moment, everything felt… normal.
Then reality slammed back into me.
The smile faltered. My chest tightened. My breathing hitched as the truth crept in, cruel and uninvited. Last night hadn’t been just tenderness. It had been a goodbye dressed up as intimacy.
My heart started racing.
No. No, no, no.
I pushed myself upright, panic blooming fast and wild. The room felt too quiet, too still, as if the world itself was holding its breath. My hands began to tremble, and before I could stop it, tears burned behind my eyes. Darius looked up at me. His peaceful face had turned frantic
‘great, i have ruined everything’ i thought, trying to wave it off that it was nothing, but he pulled me closer, letting me lay on his chest for a minute, then i lost it.
“I don’t want you to go,” I whispered, the words cracking as they left me. “I don’t want this to end.”
My shoulders shook as the first sob escaped me, raw and ugly. I pressed my palms to my face, trying and failing to hold myself together. “I can’t do this, Darius. I can’t wake up one day and you’re just… gone.” i said, away from his embrace this time so that i could look at him as i spoke.
I felt him move before I saw him.
His arms wrapped around me from behind, solid and warm, grounding me as my breath stuttered. He pulled me back against his chest, holding me like he always did when my thoughts spiralled too far ahead.
“Mika,” he murmured softly, resting his chin against my head. “Hey. Look at me.”
I turned, tears streaking down my face, and the sight of him nearly broke me all over again. He brushed my hair back gently, his thumb wiping beneath my eye.
“Don’t go there,” he said quietly. “Not today.”
“How am I not supposed to?” I choked. “You’re dying.”
He didn’t deny it. That hurt almost as much as the truth itself.
Instead, he leaned his forehead against mine, breathing me in. “Then let’s not live in tomorrow,” he said. “Let’s not live in the end.”
I swallowed hard. “Then where do we live?”
His lips curved into that soft, maddening smile—the one that always undid me. “Right here,” he replied. “One day at a time.”
I clung to him, fingers curling into his shirt, terrified to let go. The fear didn’t disappear not really but his words wrapped around my heart like a fragile promise.
One day at a time.
For now, he was still here. “fine” i sniffed, taking in a deep breath to calm myself down.
“for what it’s worth, if you leave me without saying good bye? I would not miss you” i said, pointing at him aggressively, but he only threw his head back and laughed, pulling me closer for a hug.
“I love you Mika” he said, kissing my head as he spoke before he stood up.
He did not wait for me to say it back for some reason and i was grateful.
Not because i did not want to say it back because honestly, the words hung at the tip of my tongue, waiting to come out but i could not.
I love you most time could be a sign of good bye. “if you want to hear me say it back to you, you better come home on time” i said as i saw him place his hand on the handle, wanting to go out.
He looked back, smirking at me. “you best believe it!! i am only going to grab some milk from the store down the street and be back. I’ll be back so fast that you would barely notice i am gone” he said, already rushing out with a skip to his step like a kid that has been promised candy for christmas.
I smiled, my chest tightening a bit as i looked at the empty space around me.
I let out a sigh, looking through the house, trying to while away time when i found it. A book at the corner of the shelf.
I tilted my head to the side, i have never seen it before. I took a glance, not thinking much about it before i opened the last page.
when i am gone, i hope she is free to do whatever she wants and have a life she desires, away from the suffering… i slammed the book shut, breathing heavily as i tried to blink away the tears.
“fucking idiot, he is not going anywhere” i told myself over and over again.
I paced the house. He had been gone for too long.
“milk he said” i said, grabbing my coat and the house key when a knock came at the door.
Something was not right. Darius did not need to knock. He had his own key.
I gulped, rushing to the door with my heart gripping. The door swung open, revealing a man i had never seen in my life.
“Mika Xarion?” the name numbed me to my bones. Darius Hated that title with his life.
“Y-Yes?” i muttered, looking at the brown envelope he stretched towards me.
“Lord Darius collapsed and is in the hospital. He wanted you to have the documents to the assets and…”
“No” i whispered, the world slowed down. He would not die. Not when i haven’t told him i love him.
I thought looking down at the document.
to my love i did not treat the best. My final apology" was scribbled across the brown paper.
“i need to see him… i” but he shook his head, muttering something i could not quite catch while i stood there, the cold meaning nothing as i looked at the envelope…