Reinstatement

Reinstatement

It was a new day but Yaren was still reeling from what happened yesterday, everything seemed different; the air seemed thinner, the walls looked duller, and her body felt empty after having been filled by his fingers yesterday. The physical remnants of the encounter were a persistent ache between her thighs, it continued to remind her of everything, not that she could even forget in the first place.

After the office incident, the professor had bought her dinner on their way back to the dormitory. He’d maintained an unnerving silence which wasn't cold but heavy, it was a silence that was thick with the gravity of their shared transgression.

Yaren still hadn't been thinking straight, she still hadn't been able to believe that everything was real, that it had actually happened; it felt like she was dreaming, like it was all in her head.

And by the time they got to the dormitory, she was already reaching for the door, she desperately needed to get away from the confined space, she needed to be alone with the chaos in her head. But he stopped her; he pulled her over the center console, not caring about the position of the gear shift or the seat belt.

Her body was awkwardly hauled into his lap and he kissed her hardly just as she gasped in shock. His tongue invaded her mouth just like it had done back at the office, he explored her mouth eagerly and all she could do was moan quietly from how intense everything was.

She felt him massage her waist fervently before pulling away from her and guiding her back to her seat. It took a moment for the both of them to catch their breaths before he finally bade her goodnight.

Now, hours later, Yaren still couldn't calm herself. Her emotions were still conflicting intensely and she was so restless. A part of her had loved it all; she had loved his touch, the commanding pressure of his fingers, the grounding strength of his hands.

She loved his dominance, the way his orders effortlessly stripped away her responsibility and forced her into a submission that felt both frightening and safe. It wasn't just his touch, it was him, she loved him, she was sure of it now. It wasn't just infatuation or childish crush, she actually loved him.

Yaren may have been innocent and all, but she was certain she wouldn't have let him touch her like that if she didn't love him, she was certain she would have felt molested.

But yet, she knew it was all wrong. She could try to ignor the fact that he was her professor and a decade older than she was, but how could she ignore the fact that he had a wife. It wasn't just about the both of them and their sinful desires but also the woman he was married to.

The thought ached her, it really did, but yet she couldn't help her desires; she wanted the professor like her life depended on it. At this point, she was convinced her life depended on it.

Ethics aside, another part of her felt insecure about everything. The professor was the epitome of intellectual and physical perfection in her eyes. He was everything she idealized, and she was nothing but a young, inexperienced student from a background he couldn't possibly understand.

Yet he wanted her, the whole thing continued to baffle her. How could he possibly want her? What could he possibly want with her that he couldn't have gotten from somehow that fit his standard?

And the fact that he'd been so meticulous and contained continued to frighten her; he hadn't showed any signs that he was attracted to her prior to the incident in his car two weeks ago. The shift in his personality had shocked her to her bones; the disciplined professor had suddenly shifted to a man willing to break every rule to have her.

He had told her he wanted her, but she didn't even know what lay ahead. She didn't know what to think or expect. Was she a secret distraction? A brief, regrettable lapse? Did he go back his wife last night and relieve himself with her body? Did he forget about everything?

Yaren had never been more unsettled, more anxious and even scared about the future. Her insecurities continued to convince her that she was nothing to him, that she was undeserving of his attention and he just wanted her as a distraction.

But she forced the thought aside else she'd lose her mind.

She had been completely exhausted when she got back the previous night, her body was spent. She’d peeled off her soaked clothes, climbed into bed naked, and had fallen asleep even without having dinner.

The next morning, she pulled herself together, got ready, and headed out to attend classes, she moved through the routines with a blank face, trying to pretend all was well.

After her final lecture, she stopped by Ms. Rebecca's office, she hadn't checked in since the last time and that had been more than two weeks ago. She needed to explain her recent attendance issues, and to create a narrative that would satisfy any future inquiries.

She's been unwell, she didn't have medical reports but she'd been at the school clinic when she bumped her head and the nurse would confirm that if necessary, plus, the professor had said he'd take care of the paperwork.

Ms. Rebecca smiled on seeing her like she always did. "Yaren. I'm glad you came in. How have you been?"

Yaren settled down in the seat on the other side of the desk, her hands trembled every so slightly but she forced them to stay still in her lap. Somehow, she thought Ms. Rebecca would be able to see through her lies, she thought she'd be able to tell that she was unravelling slowly but surely.

She lied about being sick, and all. It was a brief meeting which lasted barely ten minutes. Ms. Rebecca offered standard advice about rest, hydration, and catching up on coursework, urging her not to stress like she always did. And like always, Yaren thanked her and headed out.

She was glad Ms. Rebecca hadn't asked further questions or probed, she was glad she hadn't tried to pick her brains or something.

It was already 5:16pm when she stopped out of her office, and normally, Yaren would head to the professor's office to check if he had a task for her, but since she'd lost the internship she had no business going to his office uninvited.

She paused in the hallway, she wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to go to him, she wanted to be around him, she wanted to see him, to talk to him, but she just couldn't. She was anxious, insecure, and terrified of what would happen next time they were alone.

She was still deliberating on what to do when her phone chimed with a notification. It was an email from the professor, and it had her heart falling to the pit of her stomach heavily.

Her body began to tremble with excitement and anxiety immediately. Her thumb trembled even more as she tapped on the email to display the message. The subject line was: Reinstatement.

She scrolled quickly to the body of the message and read:

'Dear Ms. Kaya,
Further review of the ongoing project needs indicates a greater requirement for dedicated support than initially projected. As such, I have reconsidered the recent termination of your services. I find it necessary to reinstate your position immediately.
I would like you to continue rendering your services to me effective from today. Please refer to the initial terms of employment and prepare to report to my office as soon as you're free.
The prior compensation provided stands as settlement for the aforementioned incident and past work. Your salary will resume as previously agreed.
I trust this resolves any outstanding administrative issues.

–Gabriel Whitefield.'

It was the most intoxicating message she could have received. He had reinstated her and she'd get to spend more time with him, but at this point, the payment was the least of her concern. She took a deep, shaky breath, her heart was racing so much that she almost couldn't breathe properly.

She still couldn't believe this was happening, she couldn't believe this was real, but a part of her knew it was the realest thing that had ever occured in her life and she'd never felt more alive than she did in that very moment.