Chapter Fifty-Five-1

Chapter Fifty-Five I have a hard time telling myself that the only reason for my attendance at Lee's party is to bid him a wonderful birthday along with a final goodbye. That's it. Both of our lives have diverged into different paths now. Lee is taking responsibility of Penny and her baby and his company. I am taking responsibility of my mother and future. Mom hasn't responded well at all. Due to her aneurysm bleeding again and again, the doctors keep cutting my mother open every time she codes. So far, they have been able to keep the bleeding at bay. Thanks to Madam Jin, some of the best are operating on my mother. However, they are still only human. The doctors say there is nothing else they can do and one day, they won't be able to stop the bleeding. I've begun avoiding the hospital all together. From spending every waking day there, I now try to go everywhere else but my mother's deathbed. Focusing on classwork, friends, my future. If the doctors can't reach me, they can't force me to make any decisions...right? "Pencils down," the professor announces. I finish bubbling my last question for my Classical British Literature final. With that, my first semester at college is over. I breathe a sigh of relief once the exams are collected. I stand, wrapping my red knit scarf around my neck as I gaze out the windows. The class is on the second floor of a busy street. Light snow trickles down into the city, the kind that seems slow and light. Cars are honking, per usual, but even more so as the snow causes accidents and traffic. "What'd you think of that exam?" Giselle says, catching up to me as I leave. I roll my eyes. "Thank the lords it's over is all I can say." "Tell me about it! I swear half the questions he pulled out of his ass," she says, appalled. She pulls down her white beanie and we walk down the flight of stairs. "You up for some food?" "Mm, sure," I tell her. "You want to try a new coffee shop in Manhattan?" She gleams. "You betcha." Giselle and I have not forgotten our adventurous foodie commitment. We haven't gotten to go anywhere all week or month because of finals but now that finals are over and Christmas is around the corner, our weekly ritual of finding a new place to eat or drink at has been resurrected. Occasionally, we invite other people from our friend group but usually, it's our thing. "Invite Dan, Tan, Jess, and the rest or no?" she asks before laughing. "I love rhyming." I laugh along with her. "Sure," I decide, "why not? One last hurrah as finals end and before we all disappear for like a month and a half. Everyone's going back home soon." The word home feels like a punch to the gut. I barely remember what that is anymore. Not the room with the constant technical beeping that reassures my mother's alive. Not the empty house back in Brownwood that seems like a lifetime away now. Not the dorm I am about to move out of. I have no idea what to do for Christmas. The same fear I had for Thanksgiving creeps up my throat again. Can Brent even make it back? Or is he going to Panama with the rest of his frat friends for vacation? I miss him. I miss Candy. I miss my old life. A couple metro rides later, Giselle and I reach downtown Manhattan. It's not hard to find a new place to dine. There's at least ten restaurants every street. On the corner of two streets, we find a quirky looking cafe with the theme of clouds and no stress. Since no stress would be very much appreciated in my life, we decide to give it a try. Giselle texts everyone the address and soon enough, the rest of our friends come trickling in. Inside, there are bean bags and plush sofas. Stars and clouds hang from the high ceiling on strings. A fake fireplace releases real warmth in the corner where we decide to sit. Fifteen minutes later, I am sitting in a purple bean bag and drinking hot chocolate. As the front door blasts cold air inside, I look up. "There's Tanner and Daniel." The two idiots are both hatless and gloveless. At least Tanner has enough brain to wear a scarf. Daniel's nose and ears are bright red as he enters, just a coat keeping him warm. They leak water from the melting snow off of their clothes as they walk over. "Nice place," Tanner comments, taking a seat next to Giselle on the loveseat directly in front of the fireplace. I shoot Giselle a flirty look and she rolls her eyes. "Yeah, warm too," Daniel says, clearing the fog off of his glasses and then putting them on. There's no more seats as there is only a sofa and a beanbag in this section. He places his bag down and sits himself down near my legs, taking a seat on the beautiful carpet in our little area. I glare at Daniel. "Well, you would be much warmer if you wore a hat and gloves. Even a scarf, Daniel!" He turns and looks at me, flashing me his signature grin. It's hard to be mad at this idiot. "I'm immune." "Yeah, right!" I press his ear with my fingers. They're insanely cold. "Your ears are nearly falling off from the frostbite you will probably get in this weather." "It's fine, I'm fine," he says, waving me off. "Where's Jess the Mess and Suzy Woozy?" They got their names from their behavior at the frequent parties on 7C, the hub of partying at our residential hall. "Unfortunately, our dynamic duo said they had a date before they both head in separate directions for break, so, they won't be joining us," Giselle answers. She wiggles her eyebrows. "They said not to call or text for the next few hours." The boys "oooooooh" and Giselle and I laugh and roll our eyes. Tanner and Giselle start talking about how their finals went together, heads leaned in towards each other. The atmosphere has changed around them. It's suddenly tense and—yeah, they're definitely going to be a thing by next semester. I turn to Daniel, finally glad to get some down time with him. Though he's been very prominent in my life, always helping me to not forget meals or classwork during my mother's hospitalization, this is the first time I've really seen him since the hibernation to study for finals. The only place I'd been recently had been the library and the secret dining room that nobody knows of on the sixth floor of our residence hall. "Hey," I say, taking a sip of my milky brown hot chocolate and then staring at Daniel's eyes, which seem to appear the same color at the moment. "Hi," he says, head touching my knees. He wraps an arm around my leg, rubbing my knee softly as he speaks. It's strangely endearing and makes my heart warm. "How have you been?" I could tell him it's been hell. But I end up replying, "Good. Fine. How were finals?"