Chapter 181: Chapter Fifty-Three-3

"Who are you?" I demand again. "Ivory." That voice. No. I freeze, every bone and muscle in my body stops. Suddenly, the room is smaller than it already is and my hand lowers from pointing it at the stranger. I refuse to turn around. My breathing speeds up and my heart begins to beat at a rate that feels like ten thousand beats per second. "Ivory," the voice says, softer this time and I hear footsteps inching their way to me. "Out," he says to the two other men in suits. They leave the room, shutting the door behind them and suddenly it's like everything is too still. Like the world isn't turning and my entire life is in this one moment, in this one room. I feel numb and also like I'm going to throw up. A hand touches my elbow and turns me around. It's gentle but everything I feel right now is more of a tsunami of emotions. I look down, I don't want to see. I hear his breath do an intake but I refuse to look at him still. His hand is still on my elbow, holding it with a soft touch. I do not need this right now. I do not— "Your hair has grown." I tell myself I look up because I have to face the situation, because I can't just stay here all day looking at the ground. That's what I tell myself. But even I know...that's a lie. "Lee," I say and I don't know why I say it. It's a poor greeting, but I don't have anything to say to him. I shouldn't have said it. I haven't said that name in months. It feels foreign in my mouth, but my heart hasn't forgotten anything. When I look at him, I feel like someone's punched me in the gut. His hair is a little shorter and styled back as always, darker almost. Did he dye it? Is it because the summer glow is fading from his hair? His eyes are still the bluer than the sky, a little dull now. He looks tired. Has he been working too much? His face looks strange because I haven't seen it in months—out of place, new. The saddest thing in the world is you can know every curve and dip of a person's body, every whisper of their heart, but time can break and change so much, and suddenly the person you knew better than yourself...is a stranger. Lee's suit is gray, his tie a lilac color. His hand is outstretched, about to touch my hair almost out of habit. Is he looking at how much I've changed? Have I changed? He pulls his hand back quickly, his eyebrows pinched together in pain. We're not close enough to those things now. I remember our fight vividly. First, we broke up because our worlds were too different. Penny's pregnancy and his new reputation as his company's president—everything was fragile and would've been ruined if we kept dating. It was a mutual breakup. It hurt but we both had accepted it to some point and lived. It was for the better for both of us. It made sense. Then the first weeks of college rolled around and he had asked me to meet him. I was a hopeless girl, thinking he'd found some way to fix it all so we could be together. I had dressed up and met him at a restaurant...only for him to accuse me of selling his secrets to the world in anger of his engagement to Penny that had been announced the night before. That didn't make any sense. The anger, the feeling of betrayal, the hurt. It's like I put a small bandage over a gushing, open wound. I'm still angry, still hurt. Everything I felt still feels raw. But. But, why...why do I feel something else as well? Hope? I can't name the feeling. "What're you doing here, Lee?" I ask, my voice calm but just distant enough to show the gap between us. He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the crisp look of it. "I got a call about your mother." My eyebrows raise. "You? Why would they call you?" Lee's eyes look everywhere but me. "Well, before, I had it set that if anything were to happen to her that they would call me. I wanted to make sure your mother was getting the best care and would continue to receive it. I've hired some of the best doctors to look after her and—" "You were doing this behind my back?" I don't know why I'm being so difficult. I should thank him for doing so much already but I feel angry. "Not initially," he replies, looking uncomfortable. "I had this in place from the moment your mother was in that accident. I just forgot to change it after we...led separate lives. I just figured it wouldn't hurt to leave all my doctors and contacts in place to make sure your mother would be okay." How can I even pretend to be angry when he's always had the purest intentions for me? But then again, if he knew me so well, if we wanted what's best for me—how could he think I could ever betray him? I think I'm just hurt from that accusation rather than us breaking up. It made me feel like I never meant anything to him.