Chapter 182: Chapter Fifty-Three-4

"Well, um, I'm here, so it's fine if you have to leave," I say awkwardly. We don't have to be enemies. We can be civil. We can even be friends one day. Thinking about who we are to each other now hurts and who we'll be to each other in the future kills me. Lee bites his lip, holding back his words. He can't seem to look at me either. Eventually, he finds the courage to and looks me in the eyes. "Do you want me to leave?" All air leaves my lungs. I know he means in this situation, what's happening now. But his smoldering look and the words and everything we've been through—I can't help but overthink it. Is there a double meaning? What does this mean? Are we talking about us? I fumble with the vase in my hands, averting my eyes. "I-I don't mind. You can do whatever you'd like. I know you have work and your engagement. I wouldn't want to keep you here and waste your time." Why am I letting my hurt show? I feel so stupid and desperate. A few moments of silence pass. "I'll stay." I look up, pushing hair behind my ears. "Okay." He nods too and we just stand there in an awkward silence. We don't know how to be anything but who we were before. I don't know how to act. Are we friends? Do we tell each other what's been going on since we've last seen each other? Our feelings and history runs too deep to minimize our relationship now. I feel like I'm going to feel hurt no matter what we talk about. "Let's get that vase out of your hands and then you can take a look at your mother," he says, walking closer. His cologne is different. That's the first thing I notice. When he's close enough, he almost seems taller, but it might be just because I haven't seen him so long. It feels weird noticing new things about him because once, I knew everything about him. His hands clasp around the vase. "Oh, right," I say, my fingers moving to put the vase down. Somewhere in the moment, our fingers touch and just like before, it's as if time stands still. We both freeze, eyes shooting up. It's too soon. We can't go from being madly in love to acting like nothing's wrong. It feels as if time's changed everything and nothing at all. How can one small touch electrify everything? Lee backs up and I quickly shuffle to put the vase down where it was. I pick up the flowers, words tumbling out of my mouth as I face away from him. "Sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have acted so rashly. I just got a call about Mom and I was on edge." "No, I understand." I nervously laugh as if this whole situation is funny. When I put the flowers back in the vase, I almost actually laugh. "Would you look at that? The flowers were already dead, haha. So at least I'm not a plant killer." And then we both go still again. Memories come flushing back in. We're both thinking of that moment when he gave me a dead flower and when we spent that night realizing we were in love with each other. I still remember making fun of him from stealing a flower from my own yard and killing the romance. The sounds of laughter that night is a chilling contrast to the silence now. I stare at the flowers now, caught up in the past. Time passes by so quick. The sound of footsteps brings me out of my state of mind. He's walking closer to me. I hear him until he stops a few spaces behind me. My neck prickles at his distance. "Ivory," he says, his voice full of everything he wants to say and express. I feel his breath at the back of my neck, blowing on my hair. He's close. I feel his hand reach for my shoulder, his fingers sending small jolts through my body. It shouldn't feel like this, but it does. "Ivory, I'm so—" The door suddenly flings open and a panting Daniel walks through. "Ivory, can you please tell the security that I know you and—" Daniel's jaw drops as he looks over to where I'm standing—rather who I'm standing with. What does he see? Like the spell is broken, I suddenly flinch away from Lee's touch and turn around just to capture the hurt look on his face. I can't just forget everything he's done just because of how I feel seeing him after a few months. This is a normal reaction, not anything special. It's like reconnecting with anyone from your past—an electric need to know what they've been up to and more. It doesn't mean anything. I can't get swept up in the moment. "Daniel, I can—" "Lee Richardson?" Daniel gasps. His mouth opens and closes a few more times before he shakes his head to make sure what he's seeing is real. "Is that really you? Oh my god." He's suddenly energetic again despite rushing to get here. "I am such a huge fan, you have no idea! I need to know—" The guards from earlier suddenly walk in, one apologizing as he does. They both grab Daniel by the arm. "Sorry, sir, we couldn't restrain him. He slipped through while we were talking to the doctors." "Hey!" Daniel interrupts. "I know Ivory! I'm meant to be here." I look at Lee. "Let him go." Lee, who looks entirely confused, looks from Daniel who is jumping and trying to break free to me. A crease appears between his eyebrows as he calculates in his head. My eyes are pleading as I look at him. "Let him go, Lee. He's my boyfriend."