Chapter 67 SIXTY-SEVEN
Lennox couldn't sleep. She lay next to Callum listening to him breathe, replaying Victor's words over and over until they felt carved into her brain.
When Callum finds out who you really are, he'll never forgive you.
Around two in the morning she gave up and went to the kitchen for water. Sat at the counter in the dark staring at nothing.
"Can't sleep either?"
She jumped. Callum was in the doorway, hair messy from the pillow.
"Didn't mean to wake you."
"You didn't. My brain won't shut off." He came over, leaned against the counter next to her. "Keep thinking about the acquisition we’re handling, whether we're making the right call with the valuation."
"Sounds stressful."
"It is. But in a good way, you know? We’re building something that'll last." He turned to look at her. "I’ve been thinking about after too. After we hit the two year mark and the will clause is satisfied."
Her chest tightened. "Yeah?"
"We could travel more. Actually take time off instead of just squeezing in weekends between meetings. Maybe buy a place somewhere warm where we can escape New York winters." He smiled, easy and genuine. "I've been looking at properties in Costa Rica. There's this house on the beach that's perfect, big windows, hammocks on the deck. I keep imagining us there, just existing without all the business pressure."
She tried to smile back but her face felt frozen.
"And kids, maybe. I know we haven't really talked about it but I think about it sometimes. What kind of dad I'd be, whether our kids would have your eyes or my stubborn personality." He laughed softly. "Probably both. They'd be unstoppable."
Her throat closed. She couldn't breathe suddenly, couldn't get air past the panic lodging there.
"Lennox?"
"I need to..." She stood too fast, knocked over her water glass. It shattered on the floor but she barely heard it over the roaring in her ears.
She made it to the bathroom, locked the door. Sank down onto the tile floor as her chest seized and her vision tunneled. The panic hit like a physical thing, crushing her ribcage, squeezing out any possibility of oxygen.
There would be no Costa Rica. No future children with Callum's stubbornness and her eyes. No lazy mornings in hammocks or traveling without pressure or any of the things he was imagining so clearly, so confidently.
Because Victor was going to destroy it all. Was going to expose her as Cipher and frame her for corporate espionage and Callum would look at her with hatred instead of love, would realize every moment between them had been built on lies.
"Lennox, open the door." Callum's voice, tight with fear. "Please."
She couldn't answer. Couldn't do anything except gasp uselessly while her body forgot how breathing worked.
The lock clicked. Of course he had keys to every door in the penthouse. He was inside, dropping to the floor next to her, pulling her against him.
"Breathe with me. In for four, hold for four, out for four. Come on, you can do this."
She tried to match his rhythm. Failed. Tried again. Her lungs burned, spots dancing in her vision.
"That's it. You're doing great. Just keep going."
Slowly, painfully, her body remembered how to function. Air came in shallow gasps at first, then deeper. The crushing weight on her chest eased just enough that she could think beyond the immediate terror of suffocating.
"What triggered this?" he asked quietly, still holding her. "Was it something I said?"
She nodded against his chest.
"The future stuff? Talking about after the will clause?"
Another nod.
"Why would that upset you?" He pulled back to look at her face. "Talk to me. Tell me what's happening in your head because I'm terrified and I don't understand."
The truth sat on her tongue, so close to spilling out. I'm Cipher. I've been investigating your company. Victor knows and he's going to expose me and when he does you'll hate me and there won't be any future in Costa Rica or children or anything because I've destroyed it all.
But she couldn't say it. Not without proof that Victor was the real criminal, not without something concrete that would make Callum believe her instead of the man his father had trusted for decades.
"I'm afraid," she whispered. "When you talk about the future, about us having this whole life together, I'm terrified that you don't really know me. That when you do, when you know everything, all the parts I've kept hidden, you won't want any of it anymore."
"Lennox..."
"You're imagining this perfect future but what if I'm not who you think I am? What if there are things about me that would change how you feel?"
He was quiet for a moment, his hand moving in slow circles on her back. "Are you trying to tell me something? Is there something specific you're hiding?"
Yes. Everything. I'm hiding everything.
"I just need you to understand that I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes, done things I'm not proud of. And when those things come out, because they will eventually, I'm terrified you'll look at me differently."
"Everyone's made mistakes. You think I'm perfect? I've done plenty of things I regret." He cupped her face, made her look at him. "Whatever you're afraid of, whatever you think will make me stop loving you, it won't. I told you before, I know your heart. That's what matters to me."
"You say that now but..."
"But nothing. Listen to me." His voice was firm but gentle. "I know you. Maybe not every single detail of your past, maybe not every mistake you've ever made. But I know who you are right now, in this moment. I know you're kind even when you don't need to be, that you're brilliant and funny and you make me want to be better than I am. That's not going to change because of some skeleton in your closet."
"What if it's a big skeleton?"
"Then we'll deal with it together. That's what marriage means, right? Even if ours started as a contract, it's real now. We handle things together."
She wanted so badly to believe him. Wanted to think that when the truth came out he'd remember this conversation and choose to forgive her.
But she'd seen how Callum handled betrayal. He was ruthless in business, cut people off completely when they crossed him. And this wasn't just business, this was personal. This was his wife lying about her identity while investigating his family's company.
"I love you," she said, because it was true even if everything else was lies. "I need you to know that. Whatever happens, I love you."
"I know. I love you too." He kissed her forehead. "And nothing's going to happen. We're going to hit that two year mark, satisfy the will clause, and then we're going to build exactly the future I was talking about. Costa Rica, kids, the whole thing."
She nodded and let him believe it. Let him pull her up off the bathroom floor and guide her back to bed, let him hold her while she pretended to sleep.
But her mind was racing, running through options and scenarios and the growing certainty that she had no choice left.
She had to tell Cole. Had to confide in him before Victor made his next move, before the cybersecurity audit found traces of her investigation or Victor leaked her identity himself.
Tomorrow. She'd reach out to Cole tomorrow and pray he'd help instead of destroy her.
Because Callum's vision of their future was beautiful and perfect and completely impossible unless she could stop Victor first.