Chapter 20

(Maggy)

“WHAT was I like before the amnesia?” I asked while Austin and I were in the middle of watching a movie. The theme was comedy but I couldn’t enjoy it. I had so many questions about myself. I worry about every single thing. I don’t know how to start rebuilding my sense of identity.

All I know was my name. Clarice said that I’m twenty-nine years old and that I’m the Chief Operations Manager of YCM or Yalena, Clarice, and Maggy’s Hotel and Resorts. She also told me that we’re the best of friends. I had a twin sister who was a lawyer and was currently in Nevada because she was handling a very important case there.

Austin mentioned that I’m in the Philippines for a vacation.

“Don’t I have any other family members aside from Yalena?” I remembered asking Clarice and Austin when I was still in the hospital.

The two exchanged strange glances at each other. Austin cleared his throat before he answered. “You had your Uncle Harry. But he’s gone now as well as your parents. I’m sorry, sweetheart. Your parents died in a car accident. But you had a happy childhood, Maggy. You told me that before.” He smiled. “You lived a wonderful life. You were one of the jolliest people I’ve ever known. You always have this positive disposition. And you always have a warm smile for every person you meet.”

I heard Clarice huffed but I remained looking in Austin’s direction. I tried to hold on to his every word. “Really?” He nodded. “How about us? How did we become friends?”

“We met in a restaurant. I approached you first. You were friendly.” He evaded my eyes for a moment. “It’s been half a year since we became close.”

“Half a year. Was that short or long enough?”

“You can say it’s long enough. Because you were able to meet my parents already.”

“Oh. And how was that encounter?” I felt bad. It looks like Austin and I shared so many happy and amazing memories together. It was such a shame that I’ve forgotten all about them. My head just hurts more every time I try to remember.

“You had… f-fun. You liked my parents. They liked you, too. It was perfect.”

I lowered my head. “I’m sorry I forgot those memories. Those are the things I know I should remember.”

I only lifted my head when I heard no response. I saw Clarice turned her back while Austin’s eyes were filled with emotions I couldn’t put a name to. He just took me in his arms. I smiled a little and embraced him back. It felt natural to be this near him. “We’re this close before?”

“Yes,” Austin whispered. “In fact, we are closer than this.”

My heart pounded. The day I woke up, when I thought it was the end of the world because I couldn’t remember anything about myself, I saw this man. And I didn’t know how it happened but there was something different with the way Austin looked at me that calmed me. I didn’t feel that towards the doctors and the nurses, even towards Alano and Clarice. And my heart was only responding to him. It beats so fast whenever I see him which makes me so confused.

“You were an incredible person, Maggy. You were playful at times. You have a big heart. You help those in need.” I stopped reminiscing when I heard those words from Austin. “You believe in God. You believe in all the good things.”

(Austin)

“WHAT the hell are you doing? You’re misleading Maggy!” While looking at Maggy, Clarice’s furious face crossed my mind. She yelled at me right after I close the door of Maggy’s room. The latter was now sleeping. The Doctor said she suffered from a severe concussion. But she can be released tomorrow.

I suggested that Maggy stays in our family mansion while she was recuperating so I can take better care of her. And she agreed. My mind was at ease now that I’d get to secure her safety. It would still be dangerous for her to stay anywhere since we haven’t caught her assailant yet.

Ansel would be staying in Davao for the meantime to take care of the power plants there that’s why Maggy had no reason to be alarmed about the people she would be living with. I feel relieved that I’m somehow getting her trust back. She still hasn’t softened up with Clarice yet that’s why the latter has been so anxious lately.

Maggy had completely forgotten everything. When I turned on the television in her room, she couldn’t recognize a single person there. She also had no idea about politics anymore, about the historical things that took place in our country, and about Nevada where she spent so many years of her life. Clarice also brought Maggy’s family picture but she still couldn’t feel a sense of familiarity over them.

“You told her the opposite things about herself!” Clarice exclaimed. “How will those make her remember?”

“And what do you want me to do? Remind her of her painful past? Maggy now had the chance to forget them all. Her revenge was the reason why she almost died, Clarice. If it wasn’t because of that, she wouldn’t have left me that morning,” I replied in a soft but firm voice. “If you want, then go ahead and tell her the truth. If you’re brave enough, then confess everything to her. Bring back her pain. Bring back her nightmares.”

Clarice was stunned.

She was right. I deliberately altered some of the information that I told Maggy. Because I didn’t want her memories to return. I didn’t want her to live in pain once more. I wanted her to start living normally now. She had missed so many things because she spent most of her life working so hard for her revenge. It was time that she become happy now.

Maybe Maggy’s amnesia was God’s way of making her start fresh because she'd been carrying so many burdens in her heart for the past sixteen years. I was also worried that she would leave me again once she regained her memories.

“You couldn’t do it too, right? Because it’s hard,” I said when Clarice remained quiet. I looked at her with determined eyes. “I’ve made up my mind. I will continue doing this. I’m willing to accept Maggy’s wrath once her memories come back. You can say I’m selfish but I will take advantage of this. If life is not going to give Maggy and I a fairy tale, then I will create one for the two of us. I will create the kind of life that she and I are supposed to have if only Dad didn’t ruin everything. Because we’re really supposed to be together. We love each other. But because I’m a McClennan, we couldn’t be together.”

“But it’s still wrong.”

“I don’t care anymore. Now, my surname won’t matter. Even the past won’t matter.” My eyes watered. “This is our chance to be together. And it will only happen while Maggy has amnesia. The second she remembers, all the pain would come back. And we’d also go back to our original tragic story. So please, have mercy and give this chance to me and to your best friend as well.”

Clarice was speechless. But she was so close to crying when I walked away.

“Was I a good friend to you?”

I took my eyes off the screen and turned to Maggy. I couldn’t concentrate on the movie anyway. She just smiled when I caught her looking at me. Even in a plain blue sleeveless dress, she still looked stunning.

Ever since I took her home two days ago, she had been refusing to leave her room. That’s why tonight, I asked her out. She was constantly worried and afraid to go outside.

“I must have been a good friend for you to care for me this much,” she said after a while. “Thank you, Austin. I wouldn’t have known what to do without you. I’m glad you’re here beside me. With you, I can relax.”

That’s because you love me. And I love you, too. I love you so much. I don’t even know if I can ever forgive my Dad for everything you’ve gone through because of him. Just thinking how you suffered for the past years makes me want to forget all about my family.

I took her in my arms when I saw her about to cry. When she was calmed enough, I lifted her face. I felt like someone just kicked me in the gut after I saw the tears in her eyes. Then and now, Maggy was still suffering. I caressed her cheeks and when I couldn’t endure it anymore, I kissed her lips. I closed my eyes and allowed my tears to fall. If I would let the logical part of me to take over, I would want her to recover her memories so she wouldn’t need to be like this anymore.

But then that would mean I would lose Maggy again.

If only my love could wash away all of my father’s sins, our lives would have been different.