Chapter 14

(Maggy)

“I WILL send someone to pick you up tomorrow. There were urgent things I needed to do that’s why I had to come to the rest house earlier. But don’t worry, I will be the first to welcome you tomorrow, along with my parents.”

How is it possible that despite my pain, my burdens, I could still feel yours? I leaned on the headboard of my bed while my tears kept falling. I’ve been feeling so worn-out ever since Clarice and I had an argument and she left furiously.

“Is something wrong?” I asked in a hoarse voice. Austin’s voice was unexpectedly sad tonight. No, sad was in fact, an understatement. Austin sounded lifeless.

“I love you so much, Maggy,” he replied instead.

I shut my eyes when I heard the tenderness in his voice.

“You can break me and everything that I have, sweetheart. But please, not my heart. Spare it.”

I bit my lower lip. I could never break Austin’s heart without breaking mine. For the past years, day and night, I’ve yearned for justice. I’ve yearned to be freed from these chains surrounding my heart. I thought I could only be freed once we’ve sent Benedict to prison and take back everything he stole from us. I even considered killing him the way he killed my parents. After all, even if I kill him, it still wouldn’t be enough as compensation for the two lives he took from me and my sister.

Back then, I wouldn’t hesitate to kill him in whatever way I can, I was willing to go that far. And after discovering Benedict’s condition, I knew it was possible to do it. But my heart kept wavering. It kept interfering with my plans. I still believe that Benedict’s illness was too easy as a punishment for all his sins.

No. I didn’t start this only to stop just for love.

“When I fell in love with you, I realized something,” Austin added. “Love is just like running a business. It’s risky. It’s thrilling but it’s also terrifying at the same time. And then there will be times that you’d feel... powerless over the situations you never saw coming. That’s exactly what I feel right now.”

I smiled faintly. That was my problem, too. “You’ve been talking in riddles since you called, Austin.”

“Am I?” was all he said before he disappeared on the line.

If only I’m not feeling too gloomy tonight, I would have called him and I wouldn’t have stopped bugging him until he tells me what’s going on. But I couldn’t do that right now.

I put the phone down and reached for my parents’ picture. I held it close to my chest before closing my eyes. I’m so tired, Mom, Dad. Out of all the things I’ve been through, today’s events are the most exhausting.

MY WHOLE body froze when Benedict’s face was the first thing I saw upon entering the garden of McClennans’ ancestral house. Just as Austin said last night, a driver came to pick me up this morning and brought me to this immaculately huge house that was filled with guards.

There was a maid who greeted me after I stepped out of the car and told me to wait in the garden. I didn’t expect to see Benedict as soon as I arrived. He was sitting on a wheelchair and had no one by his side except for his nurse who excused herself right away when I came. She left along with the maid.

I slowly walked closer towards the old man. Gone were the traces of cruelty on his face. He now looked so fragile as he stared in space. Who would have thought that many times in his life, he had committed grave crimes?

My blood pressure rose as I held his wheelchair. My instinct was telling me to push the wheelchair to the pool. Or just shoot him with the gun in my bag. Tears stung my eyes as I pulled out my gun and pointed it at him.

“Every time I miss my parents, I kill you in my mind, Benedict. And it sucks, you know. Because I can only do that in my mind. Heck, I’ve been planning on killing you since I was thirteen!”

Remembering my parents made me weep so hard. And when I could no longer stand it, I sat on the ground because I feel like I’d fall any second. I wanted so badly to do what Benedict did to my parents. But I couldn’t allow Austin to suffer the way I did. I couldn’t let him go through that same ghastly experience. My hands trembled at the thought of it. I wept louder than before as I put down the gun.

I can’t believe that I would still think about Austin even when my heart was hurting this badly. And that hurt me more. I feel like then and now, Benedict was still winning because I’ve fallen for his son.

I wiped my tears and forced myself to get up. “Benedict… How I wish I’m as cruel as you. I wanted so much to be like you at this very minute so I can kill you and easily walk away from it and live the rest of my life not giving a damn about it. But I’m not like you.”

I took a few deep breaths to calm my raging heart before I ran away. I didn’t turn around. I was afraid that I might change my mind and really shoot Benedict who could not even lift a finger at this moment.

And as I stepped out of the tall Iron Gate, things became clear to me. I should have noticed that something was wrong last night when Austin called me.

This was nothing but a trap.