***Chapter Twenty-Eight***
On this lovely Friday morning, Keegan surprised me by showing up on campus. He came early because he had work later tonight. Most of his shifts were in the evening hours since he worked at a bar. I’m shocked he was even awake to come see me this early. If I were in his position, I’d be exhausted as hell. That was Keegan for you, though.
I was thrilled to see him as we sat outside in the crisp fall air under my favorite tree. I grabbed a used blanket out of my bin for us to sit on. While Keegan brought some tasty fruits and me some chocolate—white chocolate, to be exact. It tastes like it was freshly made too. It was rich and so flavorful; I needed him to bring me more.
Eating another piece, I groan in delight at its sweet taste. “Where did you get this from? I need more.” The taste overtakes me.
He chuckled. “Actually, it’s a family recipe,” he tells me, to my shock. “My dad used to make chocolates for a living before he retired. It wasn’t anything crazy, but he built up a nice little business amongst our neighborhood people.”
That was fascinating to hear. “Why did he retire? This is amazing!” I gushed some more.
“Well, my parents are older, if you will. So, it was about time for him to take it easy,” that made sense. “Though he makes some from time to time, which is why I brought you some.”
I smile brightly. “I think this just sealed our fate forever,” I joked.
The chocolate is magnificent and I couldn’t wait to eat more. It was also interesting learning that his parents were older. He’s only 21, so they had to have him a bit later in life, if that’s the case. I wouldn’t ask for any ages because I felt that was too personal. However, I was curious about what it was like for him growing up. This was my chance to connect with Keegan some more. Maybe even move our relationship in a different direction.
The thing about Keegan, he was an open book and whatever I’d ask, he’d answered. Him being an only child like me, didn’t have many exciting stories to tell. Other than that, most of his friends’ parents were younger than his. He didn’t get to do a lot of things that they did with their families, but his childhood was far from horrible. The only thing he missed out on was taking family vacations every year, like everyone else. His parents were getting up in age, so going anywhere outside of his county was pretty hard. Other than that, he’s close to them and their relationship is strong.
“I never cared too much about that stuff. As long as we were all happy, that’s all that mattered,” he explained.
Agreeing, I smiled, wishing my family wasn’t a dysfunctional mess. “Are they still together?” I couldn’t help but ask.
He looks at me and nods. “Oh yeah, there’s no splitting those two apart.” His brow raises. “Is there a particular reason you asked?”
Now I got nervous. I’ve barely talked about this with anyone. Not even Dillon, because I don’t want to. It’s hard thinking anyone could relate to me, given the circumstances.
Everyone I know parents are happily in love with one another. How would they understand what I’m going through with them being separated? If this were a mutual thing, it wouldn’t bother me as much. However, that’s not at all how they ended up divorced. Not only that, my dad has started a new family without even batting an eye. Even at 19, it was hard to deal with.
Yet Keegan wasn’t here to judge me. He was only here to listen and I feel this was what I needed. I needed to talk about it to get my emotions out of my system. I’m still not ready to talk to my father, but airing out my misgivings felt amazing. My mom was right, the holidays were coming up. I needed to at least be able to look at my dad without wanting to sock him.
Sighing, I could feel the anger consuming me as I thought about it. “My parents’ divorce finalized about 3 months ago and I’ve not been dealing with it well,” I admit. “It’s not even that they divorced. Shit happens. It’s what led up to them getting said divorce and what followed.”
Keegan gives me an understanding look. “What exactly happened?” I expected him to ask that.
“To summarize, my dad got caught cheating, my mom wasn’t having it, so they filed for divorce, which takes a minute. Then once it was finalized, my dad proposed to the woman he cheated with the day after.”
Keegan scrounged up his nose. “Whoa, that’s gotta be rough.” He said, not liking the sounds of that.
I nod. “Not only did he do that, but I feel snubbed that he’s now playing husband and father to her and her daughter when he couldn’t do that for me or my mom.” I fight back the tears. “I just feel hurt and like…like ugh!” I yell, before the tears finally fall.
Keegan didn’t hesitate to hug me, consoling me the only way he could. Therefore, I don’t talk about it, because it makes me want to cry. It felt like throughout this whole process; I was losing my dad. Admittedly, he has tried to contact me, still does. But I can’t bring myself to talk to him without wanting to yell. The whole situation makes me frustrated, and it bothers me even more that mom is so nonchalant about it. They’ve been married for 20 years. You’d think she’d show a little emotion toward the situation. Her whole demeanor has been stoic. I guess to protect me and my feelings which is dumb.
Regardless, it was life, and I was going to get used to sharing my dad with someone else’s child. A child from the person who also played a part in hurting my mom, but I digress. My mom wanted me to talk to him, then I was going to try. She’s in communication with him as well, since she knew I’ve been ignoring those calls. If they could still talk after everything, what was stopping me? It’s not like they have to be in communication either. I’m 19, not 5. There’s no co-parenting arrangement that needs to be set up. I just needed to get the stick out of my ass.
Keegan wiped some of my tears, trying to make light of the moment. “I’m thinking it was a good idea I brought the chocolate,” he snickered.
I laughed, somewhat agreeing with him. “Chocolate makes everything better,” I sniffled. “You just listening helped a lot too, though. I…I haven’t exactly talked to anyone about this.”
“Are you trying to say I’m special?” He winked.
Rolling my eyes, I sat up, appreciating his comfort. “I don’t know about special, but you are something. Something I really like.” I say.
It’s true, I did like Keegan and not to just get over Drew. He was a different guy I would have never talked to before this. The way he made me feel comfortable being with him is a feat only a few people achieve. It has been a little time that we’ve spent together, but each time has been perfect for me. Every time I learn something new about him and he learns something new about me. That was always the best part about new relationships.
Still, the other part of me couldn’t see myself without Drew. He was undoubtedly so important to me. Even with him acting like nothing had happened, I still couldn’t fight my feelings for him. The hold he had on my heart wouldn’t loosen, making it harder to get close to Keegan. I didn’t want to lead him on, but I couldn’t just give him up, either. The situation should have never happened, but Keegan shouldn’t have been so charming at the bar that night.
Grabbing my hand, Keegan squeezed lightly before smiling at me. “Maybe one day I could get to being special.” He kissed my knuckles, sending a shiver down my spine. See, he’s a charmer.
My cheeks turned bright red as I smiled at the ground. “Well, there is one way to get things moving,” I’m an idiot.
That caught his interests. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” He wondered.
I contemplated on saying this. “We…we could kiss.”
I know, I know, I’m stupid. It was the only way to see if things would progress any further between us. If I felt the things I’ve felt when kissing Drew, then we could have potential to be even bigger. If that didn’t happen, it would be clear we’d be stuck in this weird flirting situation we have going on. It’s better to know, so I’m not wasting anyone’s time. Besides, now that I’ve had my first kiss, a second one with another indescribable hot guy wouldn’t hurt.
Keegan had other ideas, though. Standing up, he lifted me to my feet before leaving a kiss on my forehead. “How about we save that for another time? I don’t want to rush.” He says. “I just want to enjoy you.”
It hurt to be rejected, but I understood. “Yeah, you’re right.” I say quietly.
“I hope I haven’t disappointed you? This…whatever it is, means a lot to me. I want it to be right.” He said. I still can’t see where Drew thinks he’s a bad guy at.
I smile before hugging him tightly. “You don’t have to explain yourself, Keegan. I’m a big girl.”
He laughed before hugging me back. We stayed like this for a second before I opened my eyes to see an angry Drew skating by. His eyes locked on mine for a hot second while he continued to skate away. He wasn’t a happy camper, but that wasn’t my problem anymore.