Chapter Forty-Nine - Jessica

What was that?

I couldn’t believe what my wolf had done. She drew blood. On our mate! If I could have reached inside and strangled her, I would have done it.

That was not ok. None of this was ok. She'd taken over and pushed my thoughts and requests aside to gain control.

I hurried inside and up the stairs. Aaron yelled for me to get lunch but I didn’t stop until I made it to the bathroom counter.

Placing my palms on the bathroom sink, I stared at myself. This wasn’t right. What was going on with my wolf? Why did she seem so aggressive and in need of showing dominance?

My fingers wrapped around the counter of the sink, and my gaze fluttered toward my grandmother’s diary.

Mason must have placed it there this morning. After devouring two boxes of pizza, we both passed out the night before.

Grabbing the diary, I turned and sat down on the floor.

My hands fluttered to the dog-eared page as I opened the book again.

July 20th, 1976.

School starts soon. I can’t wait to start my senior year, even if it’s not in Texas. I miss my friends and the big city, but I can’t say that I’m not interested in getting to know Donovan.

My mother doesn’t seem to think it’s a good idea to hang around him. For whatever reason, I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about.

He’s nice. Kind. I even snuck out my window last night to meet him at the creek. With shaky hands, I used my flashlight to walk toward the fountain.

His strong hands led me toward the creek where he lit an old-time lantern so we could see. The night sky was full of stars. We laid back and looked at them for hours. The humid breeze lingered on my skin, drawing goosebumps up my body.

Until he grew suddenly weary and insisted that we go inside. The night was youngish at that moment, so I didn’t understand his need to leave, but I did as he asked.

He seemed almost fearful.

Of what? Maybe there were wild animals he heard that I didn’t.

I didn’t know, but I honestly, didn’t care. Electricity surged through me every time his skin touched mine. It was a delicate thing…lust. It was heavy and controlled at times, and completely unhinged at others.

Mother doesn’t know but I think Donovan and I are meant to be. I’m young, I know, which is the sole reason I don’t tell her. Dad either. He’d have Donovan’s head on a stake.

Well, maybe not a stake, but he’d get a restraining order at the least.

I don’t care. I like Donovan…a lot. Even though his eyes seem different every time I see him, my body reacts to him.

Better yet, my soul yearns for more time with him.

“Reading anything good?” Mason’s voice brought me out of my grandmother’s words.

I blinked and realized tears coated my eyes. They weren’t from my grandmother’s entry but from my wolf’s actions with Mason.

One single tear raced down my cheek.

It was all Mason needed to walk inside and bend in front of me. “Did you read something bad?”

I shook my head as he wiped my tears away. “No. I’m so sorry about my wolf. I don’t know what came over her.”

He smiled though it didn’t meet his eyes. He was worried about this. I could feel it in my stomach. Mason didn’t understand my wolf, none of us did. She was domineering at times. She…made me question my sanity as of late.

“It’s ok. We’re going to figure all of this out.”

I frowned. “What happens until then? I go around pretending I have a handle on my wolf. I pretend that she isn’t crazy?”

She moved around inside of me. Apparently, like most women, she didn’t like to be called crazy.

“She’s not crazy,” he said, sliding his fingers into my hair. “She’s new. We don’t understand her yet. She didn’t grow up in a pack.”

“She didn’t even exist until a few days ago,” I said.

“She did exist, we just didn’t know she existed, Jessica. You don’t have to feel bad about what happened. I don’t think any of this is your fault.”

“Then whose fault is it?” I asked, shrugging my shoulders.

Mason leaned backward onto his butt and stared. “No one’s fault. You can’t help your wolf. Not now anyway. You’re new. You don’t have control over her yet.”

Resting my head back against the bathroom counter, I sighed heavily. “Mason, something feels wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

I sighed. “She feels wrong. Like she’s fighting against something inside. One minute she wants to submit and obey and then next, she’s ready to take down the pack.”

Mason furrowed his brow. “We’ll figure it out, I promise.”

I smiled at his promise, not feeling as if anything would make sense, and crawled over to his lap. He curled me into his arms and rested his chin against the top of my head.

“The festival is coming this weekend. Do you still want to go?”

I nodded into his chest, relaxing in the smell of his skin. “I’d love to. Do you think Jacob will let us with everything going on?”

“I think we’ll probably all go. We can go off to ourselves but they’ll be near just in case.”

“The entire town will be there?”

Mason nodded. “Most of them, yeah. Why?”

“Wouldn’t that be a great place for us to be? Think about it, the lycan is turning people, right?”

Mason nodded and watched as I pulled away to look at him. “That would be the best place for a lycan to turn someone. He or she will have the pick of the town. Maybe we can pick them out easily.”

“It’s a good idea.”

“Are you afraid for the town?” I asked.

Mason shrugged. “We’ve lived here our entire lives. There have only been a handful of rogues passing through. We’ve never had lycans. It’s hard to believe all of this is happening at once.”

I frowned. “There has to be a reason.”

“We’ll figure that out too,” he said.

I chuckled. “You’re completely optimistic and I love it.”

Mason smiled. “I try to be.”

“Someone has to be, right?” I teased. “Since I’m on a current negative downfall.”

Mason scooped me into his arms before standing up with me. “You’re worried. It’s okay to be worried because you’re going through a lot.”

I was going through a lot. My entire life had flipped upside down since arriving at Slade Springs. Mason began to carry me out of the room. “Where are you

taking me?”

“To eat. Don’t say you’re not hungry because I heard your stomach growling.”

“I am hungry. But I don’t want to go eat with everyone. They know what my wolf did. I can’t imagine the hostility they have toward me, right now.”

Mason shifted me in his arms. “They won’t say a word to you.”

“No, they’ll be thinking it,” I groaned.

Mason sat me down on my feet. “A pack is symbolic of a brotherhood, now a sisterhood, too. We don’t judge one another for our problems. No one thinks you did anything on purpose. We’re figuring this out together. The pack won’t hold anything against you. Come on, the food is ready. We don’t want to miss out.”

I followed Mason downstairs. I didn’t want to eat with them. Even though I had Jacob, Dad, and Mason on my side no matter what, I felt like a lone wolf.

A wolf that doesn’t fit in.

A wolf that isn’t a wolf at all.

Perhaps Liam was right. My mark was red because I was lycan.

And if it was…how would we fix it?