Chapter 30 Chapter 29
Evelyn.
I paused for a moment, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as my heart skipped a beat. Then, an unrecognizable cry tore from my lips as I came undone, my body shaking as I clenched rhythmically against his fingers, tears rolling down my face. I don't know for how long I lie there, just shaking like a fish that had been pulled out of water. Finally, my body goes slack and I lay limp on the bed, completely exhausted. Alpha king keiran gently extracts just fingers from inside me, and I feel his body heat move away from me.
A long silent moment passes between us, with me wondering what's going to happen now. Draping me with what I would assume were my clothes, he removed the bind from my legs and wrists before pulling away the blindfold. I squeeze my eyes shut before slowly opening them, my eyes adjusting to the dim lighting. I glanced at him and found out he already had his back turned to me.
"You can leave now. You're dismissed." He ordered coldy, his voice devoid of any emotions. Almost like the intense experience didn't happen moments ago. I stared at his back, left in a state of shock. That's when I realized, he didn't take any pleasure from me. What about him? He started to walk away, leaving me alone on the bed. Dazed and confused, I climbed out of the bed, my body trembling as I put on my clothes. Occasionally, I'd glance around his chambers but he was nowhere in sight. I wondered where he disappeared to.
Feeling somewhat despondent, I finished dressing up and started to leave his chambers. Stopping slightly, I glanced back to the chambers, noticing the bleak atmosphere that was always present whenever I was around. Tears filled my eyes and a different kind of loneliness washed over me. Pushing such emotions to the bottom of my stomach, I sucked in a deep breath, opened the door of his chambers, stepped out and closed it behind me.
The darkness of night enveloped me as I lay in my small, dimly lit crib. The memories of earlier replayed in my mind, like a haunting melody refusing to fade away. I couldn't escape them; they clung to me like a relentless shadow. The Alpha King's chambers, his touch, his whispered promises – it all felt like a dream, or perhaps, a nightmare.
My heart raced as I replayed the vivid images of that encounter in my mind. His strong hands binding mine, the silk blindfold that masked my vision, and his commanding voice that sent shivers down my spine. Everytime I closed my eyes or moved slightly, I could still feel his hands on mine and his mouth on my bosom, a warm feeling spreading through my entire body at the memory. Every sensation was etched into my mind, a stark contrast to the pain and humiliation I had endured as his slave.
But what troubled me most wasn't the physical intimacy or the forbidden pleasure I had experienced; it was the undeniable truth that I had enjoyed it. My body had betrayed me, reacting with fervor and desire that I didn't understand. It was as if a Pandora's box of forbidden emotions had been unlocked within me. And I loathed it. How could I be so wanton?
As I lay there in the darkness, my thoughts were a tumultuous whirlwind. How could I reconcile this newfound attraction with the man who had enslaved me? The Alpha King, the one responsible for my sister's death, the ruthless ruler of our world – he was the object of my forbidden desires. It was madness.
I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms, trying to hold onto the anger and resentment that had fueled me for so long. But it was slipping away, replaced by an unsettling mixture of confusion and longing. How could I feel anything but hatred for the man who had taken everything from me?
The internal conflict tore at my soul. I was bound by a twisted web of emotions, trapped in a labyrinth of my own making. A part of me yearned for his touch, his presence, while another screamed in protest, reminding me of the pain he had inflicted on my family and me.
I could barely get any sleep that night, my mind replaying everything to me as I tried to understand everything that was going on. Once the first rays of dawn hit the sky, I quickly freshened up and began my duties, needing a distraction. Amaris joined me much later and after sharing pleasantries, we immediately settled to work. It didn't take long for Amaris to notice that something was amiss anyway.
"Is everything okay?" She asked quietly as I hanged huge pieces of clothing over the wire, biting my lower lip in worry. I turned to her, dazed for a while before answering her question.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" I said, trying to sound bright.
"You've been out of it all morning, and you've barely spoken." She said, eyeing me warily. "Did something happen?"
"No, nothing really. Everything has been normal lately." I answered, shaking my head as I debated to myself whether to tell her not.
"Well, you don't look it. But it's not in my place to press." Giving me a small smile as she walked back to continue washing. I watched her go, letting out a breath. It wouldn't be a bad idea if I talked with her, would it? Making a decision, I walked to her, seating beside as I stared ahead. She turned to gaze at me, patiently waiting for me to speak up.
"Is it normal to feel desire or something of that sort towards someone that you hate? Is it possible for you to feel pleasure from something that had caused you immense pain in the past?" I asked quietly, wringing my hands together as I stared at her. She watched me for a while before a sad smile hit my lips as she leaned towards me.
"Of course. It's perfectly normal. Why, is it your first time experiencing such emotions?" She asked and I nodded, frowning deeply. This conversation was too embarrassing to admit out loud. "It's perfectly normal." She continued away, "I feel it all the time when I lay my eyes on my mate who rejected me. I hate him yes, but I also can't deny the attraction I feel when he's around. It's something you can't help, no matter how hard you try."
Hearing her story, I groaned out loud, grabbing my head. "But it's wrong! Why would I be feeling such things?!" I understood why she would feel that way for her mate, after all, they are bonded. But to the Alpha King?! The man who had shown me nothing but pain and terror? The reason I had been living like this!?