Cherished

Cherished
BLANCA

I am disgusted with myself. I’m a regular degenerate.
I’ve just finished watching that video on Doc Maize’s phone for like…the ten hundredth time and I can honestly say that I am one sick little birdie. 
Each time I watch it my heart nearly explodes with joy and I almost can’t contain my squeal of excitement. 
Weird? Yes, I know, but if ever there was going to be proof that Max cares for me beyond my servitude, it’s here. On this video. And I hate to say it, but I don’t see myself tearing my eyes away anytime soon.
Despite the fact that it has been harder and harder to watch each instance of violence that was enacted upon me on repeat, I have chosen to do so, over and over again simply to get to the last five minutes of tape and practically swoon. And no, simply replaying that last bit without enduring the beginning and the middle would not be adequate. It would be cheap. The fact is, by that point, at the end of the recording, I was unconscious and had no idea that what transpired between Max and myself, right at that moment, would be anything worth missing. But now that I’ve seen it…now that I’ve seen him, devastated and broken and almost…helpless with fear…my hopes have been reborn. Despite that I warned myself not to…I’ve decided that the daydream that is Max is absolutely worth fighting for. 
He called me his angel.
Right after a particularly gory segment where he turned Corlys into a fountain of death, he fell to his knees before me and he’d said, ”Oh Good Goddess…no…what did they do to you? What did they do to my angel?” Then he’d shouted, “Fuck!” Then wept, “I’m so sorry, Blanca, baby please. This is my fault. All my fault. Stay with me, baby. Just stay with me.”
Did I say wept? Yes, indeed I did.
Meanwhile, every one of those boys had stood watching in shattered silence, their smiles and laughter forgotten as they watched their Alpha lift me into his arms as if I were a cherished treasure, and then disappear into the back of the Suburban before leaving them in a cloud of dust.
Me…a Shiftless slave.
A murderer.
Cherished.
Although it is undoubtedly the his and not the angel that I am partial to, I have decided to commit every instance of his using that endearment to memory from here on out.
As far as the rescue is concerned, watching that thirty or so seconds in which Corlys is posed to stomp me into the ground, as if I am not more than a disfigured farm animal that needs to be put down…does something to me. Certainly, it is frightening to watch and Goddess knows the risky attempt made by that heroic young Gamma to shield me from harm by placing himself between me and certain death, all in the space of a heartbeat, has me cringing every time I see it, but beneath all that…something burns anew. Deep in my chest, right at my core, a white-hot brilliance of fire sears all my fears away. Forcing my eyes to remain watching as that dead bastard disrespects my life. Treating me as if I am nothing and no one and not even worth his gaze as he deals the killing blow. Something raw and ferocious and so aggravatingly sharp that I swear I nearly sprout fangs, bites at my senses, steeling me from within. Transforming me into a vengeful, wrathful, servant of the Goddess’ forgotten children, a reminder that the spirit of the wolf still resides within.
Suddenly, I know…this is what the Goddess chose me for. To endure the struggle and become the burn of change. It might be that Max being my mate, becomes my assured survival. Perhaps that is why I was chosen and no one else. Maybe that small fact is what made fate favor me as a murderer turned champion and ultimately caused my failed execution. Perhaps…
Suddenly, I gasp, my eyes falling closed as that voice, once again, finds me and I see myself as I am now, reclined in my hospital bed, my eyes closed as I rest. But a quick look around me fills the room with glowing shadows and thick lavender mist. The Goddess stands in the doorway, her face draped in shadow as the light of the moon glows brightly behind her.
I feel her next words like a touch upon my skin as her voice resonates between my ears.
She says, ”Dearest Blanca, you are no simple fact of fate. No mere coincidence. I handpicked you myself. You outshined every other soul for miles. The light of your spirit burns so much brighter than the rest it’s almost as if you volunteered. And as it is time for all to leave the darkness behind, your fire will be needed to guide the disheartened to light, and to burn the lies which many have built their lives with. Do not forget your anger, sweet girl, for it is key, and next time you want to bite something…do it…
With a gasp I fall back into myself, throwing a quick glance around to be sure that I’m still alone. I don’t know what I look like when that sort of thing happens to me…when the Goddess steps into our realm…but I do know that every time it happens in front of another soul I’m left wishing I could melt into the ground. Luckily, Doc Maize is still in the main wing of the hospital seeing her regular patients and I am spared the embarrassment of someone witnessing my…’spell’.
However, my relief is short-lived, because with it comes the Goddess’ last words…a puzzle I’m almost afraid to solve. And it isn’t until I decide to take a shower and am standing in front of the intricately gilded mirror, once again marveling at my flawless reflection, that I notice what I must have done to myself while I was watching that recording.
Was I biting my lip?
Obviously, I must have been, because right there for all eyes to see bears the evidence. Two identically shaped cuts, too deep to have been painless, yet I remember nothing of the act. And damn…I must have bit down hard puncturing right into my flesh and through to the inside of my lip.
Biting down gently in the mirror, I study the points of my sharpest teeth, wondering if one or the pair of them might have gotten chipped this morning while I was being exterminated, but they appear as unthreatening as ever, if not a little straighter than I remember them being and-
\-oh!
Oh my…
That can’t be right…
My teeth are much too close together to have caused this damage. Why…it’s appears as if...at one point…I might have had fangs…
“No…way,” I hiss, suddenly eager for Doc Maize to return.
The Goddess’ voice floats through my head unbidden, her final words urging the strangest of smiles to turn my lips… 
...Do not forget your anger, sweet girl, for it is key, and next time you want to bite something…do it…