CHAPTER 5

Elisabeth had a rough childhood, not with family, her family was nearly perfect. They were a small, Christian family living in a village house with a small garden. Her father was Spaniard but her mother was English but the difference in language and culture was not to be seen because they loved each other so much and did everything together. Her father worked as a gardener, tending to several gardens and farms for other villagers. He was well known for this reason and well respected because he grew healthy crops and always brought bountiful harvests to those whose gardens he tended to. Her mother on the other hand was a teacher. She taught the Spanish culture to children in high school. It was strange because she was English but she mastered the culture so well that she could teach it to others. They decided to give their children a taste of both cultures; while Elisabeth was born is Spain, Linn, her brother, was born in the Great Britain. They both started their early years in the small Spanish Valencia town together. Elisabeth loved it there because everyone was warm, welcoming and the villagers were tightly knit; it was like they were all one family. Her mother knew how to make the Spanish delicacies: albondigas (Spanish meatballs), calamari (fried squid), tortilla de patatas (a potato omelet), and other traditional summer dishes that included rice with vegetables, abundant seafood, and cold tomato soup. There was a wide variety of delicacies and all the fruits and vegetables were grown from their garden, including food which was given to her father as gifts during the harvest seasons. They worked in the garden every evening, once the sun had begun to set. Elisabeth hated working in the gardens because she had terrible experiences and believed that the insects that lived in the garden did not like her. She was grown now and she still felt the same way. One time, a swarm of bees attacked her in her father’s garden; it was strange that none of the bees bit her but the attack left her traumatized and she wept sore. Another time, some ants got into her boots; they left her foot badly swollen for days from the bites and stings. Her father had always told her she was a special child and that was why bad things happened to her in the garden. At first, she believed him, but it became more difficult to believe as she grew older. She also followed her father to work at other farms and gardens because she enjoyed his company and the fragrance of flowers. Her father decorated her hair with flowers he’d pick from the gardens and tell her how much he adored her.

She loved how everyone in Spain lived their lives slowly, peacefully and to the fullest. She loved attending the tomato fight festival with her brother and older cousins. Although they never partook in it until she left Spain, they would watch from the balcony of a selected building as the older children threw tomatoes from a nearby food stand at each other. It seemed like fun and it made her laugh so much till her stomach ached. Sometimes, she got stains of tomato splash that made her so happy. Her favorite festival was Semana Santa. She was allowed to partake in everything, but her father was there to guide her. She loved the elaborate floats, traditional costumes and the somber music played by live bands. Her father would let her sit on his shoulders during the processions. He would carry her around, walking in the midst of the crowd to allow her to see as the ceremony unfolded.

Elisabeth was not so close to her mother but they had a good relationship too. Her mother was the most beautiful woman she ever saw. Elisabeth wanted to learn the British accent so bad because she loved when she heard it bounce off her mother’s tongue. She loved to help her mother make Spanish meals and knit during her free time; dancing to the local songs was also top on the list of things she enjoyed doing with her mother. These beautiful moments soon came to an end for Elisabeth because they moved to England when she clocked ten. She never fit in. It wasn't her; it was the place. She could not help but feel alone even though she was with family.

“You should’ve call me first. I don’t like people showing up without informing me first.”

“Relax, Liz,” his broad shoulders brushed her aside as he pushed through the slightly opened door leading into the house.

“What are you even doing here?” she asked looking at him intently from head to toe.

“Manners?? Ask me to sit, maybe?” he retorted.

“Reuben, I don’t have time for games. Say what it is and go.” She responded still holding the door open to enforce her statement.

He chuckled and sunk his body into the sofa; the door tugged shut making a low thud sound.

Reuben was a tall man, broadly built with a deep, resounding bass voice. His hair was auburn, a weird contrast against his tan skin. His eyes were small, they seemed lost in his broad face. His big, broad nose lacked a ridge and sat comfortably below his eyes, miles above his thin, wide pink complexioned lips. He seemed even more muscular than he had been when they were still married; Elisabeth could not help but notice he seemed happier too. She shuddered at the thought of it and folded her arms.

“What do you want here?” she asked again but this time calmly, as if counting her words.

“You won’t even offer me coffee or curry soup?” he asked smiling deceptively.

She sat in the sofa opposite him and rolled her eyes tiredly.

“I thought you’d be at work today—” He began.

“So why did you come here?” she snorted, interrupting him but maintaining gentility while at it.

“I went to your work first. I was told that you were absent today. I became really worried as you were not answering your phone too so I decided stop over before going over to the police to make a report.” He responded, gesticulating.

“Who told you I was absent from work?” she asked him, wearing a worried look.

“Karen did. Why?” he asked her, shrugging.

“Karen from Filing and Records department?” she asked again, rhetorically.

“You know some other Karen at work?” he raised his thick brows in awe and total curiosity.

“No! Silly” she exclaimed as they both broke into a hearted laughter, his thick voice filling the room in a resounding deep echo. She missed him, missed this. There was no getting mad at Reuben, no matter how hard she tried. He had some traits that sickened her but he was a sweetheart regardless. He knew how to warm her heart and cause her belly to tingle.

“Black tea?” she asked shyly.

“I thought you’d never ask” he smiled as she moved away quietly.

Lisa and Reuben met in the most awkward fashion. They were both visiting an English restaurant for a blind date. Lisa was going to meet some guy named Matthew whereas Reuben was going to hang with some woman he met on Facebook. They had never met either of these people before. Lisa arrived really late for her date and was so certain it was Reuben because he fit all of the description Matthew had given her. He was at the far end of the restaurant, eating a salad, wearing a black leather jacket, wearing a punk hairdo and he seemed to be texting her back on his phone too. She hurried over to him and got on her seat facing him. She remembered the unimpressed look on his face and she understood; she looked a total mess. She was going through a tough heartbreak and was trying so hard to act alright. Her hair was a mess, so disheveled, her nails were in the worst possible state because her polish were peeling off already; she had cried just after getting her makeup done and didn’t have enough time to redo her makeup. She missed her appointment with the hair stylist, she tried so hard to figure out how to put her hair in a bun or recreate some other style, after watching several videos on YouTube, but she could not. By the time she had tried thrice, she was so frustrated she broke down in tears, ruining her makeup, sobbing with both palms on her face. She realized that she could not go on the date, Matthew called her severally but she wouldn’t answer; when she eventually took the call, he convinced her to come to him regardless. She grabbed her purse after trying to dry her tears without soiling her makeup further but to no avail. They ended up leaving the restaurant together after Reuben suggested an appointment at the salon. It was while they were at the salon that she realized he wasn’t the one she was supposed to meet with. Matthew called her again, cursing and yelling because she stood him up. She had walked into a completely different restaurant; Matthew was at the restaurant just at the other side of the road and Reuben’s date stood him up but she was glad at the turn of things because she hadn’t felt that happy in a really long time.

“Here you go.” She handed a small cup of tea to him on a saucer filled with three slices of toast.

“Thank you.” He replied smiling.

“You seem to be putting on some weight," she said wryly.

“It’s all muscle so I assume it is safe.” He responded in denial.

“Is it safe?” she asked meekly and watched as he nearly choked on his tea. She smiled at him.

“You have been under the radar and I must say that I am really worried about you—”

“That’s really sweet” she interrupted him still wearing a brilliant smile, “but I am fine, really, don’t I look it?” she asked with doubts in her voice.

“You should know that lying to me is not an option because I always know when it’s a lie and this, this is a fat lie. Probably even fatter than I am.” He watched as she laughed lightly first and then quietly began to sob.

“I’m sorry, I—” she tried to speak but the words became so incoherent, she could barely construct a sentence.

“Shhhh,” Reuben pulled her close to his chest and patted her gently at the back. “You can talk to me. You don’t have to apologize for how you feel. It’s okay Liz.” He stroked her hair as he spoke, his deep voice sending a comforting warmth through her body and down her spine. She sniffled and let out a sigh; slowly, she lifted her palms to her face and tried to dry her eyes.

“I feel so alone in this world, terrible things always happen to me.” She sniffled as she tried to prevent herself from crying “Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s true, I lost everything already. I lost my son, my brother and only sibling, my marriage and now, my job. It does not get any easier Reuben. It’s so hard to keep pretending to be strong and I am so tired of everything.”

“Your job??” he asked in awe while maintaining as much calmness and patience as possible in a bid not to upset her.

She sighed and snuggled closer to him. She didn’t mean to give him that information and now she couldn’t take it back. She closed her eyes and maintained silence, hoping it would make the question go away.

Elisabeth always dreamt of being married to a wealthy man. Although she loved her simple, humble background because she believed that the best things of life were appreciated more in poverty and humility. She still believed rich people had a lot of difficulty finding happiness and always had so much to bother about because they ran too many businesses; they also lacked family unity because everyone is always so busy making money, they have no time to feel love and understand it in its entirety. As a grown adult, who also ended up as a rich woman, Elisabeth still felt the same about her ideas. She knew these ideas were factors that further influenced her decision to get a divorce seeing as her definition of love and marriage was not exactly Reuben’s. Reuben saw fulfillment in wealth and more wealth. He would stop at nothing to keep acquiring properties, fame and more money even in hard currencies but Elisabeth wanted to live, love and laugh. She tried convincing him to retire one time but he would not listen; when she began to put a lot of pressure on him as regards the retirement and her plans after his retirement, he concluded that she was crazy and booked a session with the therapist for her. He could not understand how she wanted him to leave all his businesses and then spend the rest of his life traveling around the world with her. Elisabeth attended those sessions; she had hoped that the therapist would see reasons with her and then relate it to her husband in a more convincing manner but every day she went for each session, she knew her therapist considered her really crazy; she could see it in the elderly woman’s grey, aged eyes that she considered her crazy, but to be fair, who wouldn’t. How would she explain to the world that she wanted her husband to quit making money for the rest of their lives so they could focus on traveling and expressing their love for each other for the rest of their lives? That was definitely crazy! She eventually discarded the idea at the end of the session which lasted three months but she was so unhappy, displeased and unsatisfied. This contributed largely to the failure of their marriage even if she could not find the balls to say it in court. They both wanted the finer things of life but whilst Reuben wanted materialistic things more, Lisa wanted love, attention and affection more than any other thing.

“Are you having a problem with anyone at work?” Reuben’s deep voice pulled her out of her thoughts sending waves coursing through her legs; she shivered for a moment so brief that he didn’t notice.

“I didn’t say I was.” She replied, closing her eyes again and curling up even tighter around his body.

“You did say you lost your job. I know you do not mean that literally but it definitely means there is something going on at work and you’re trying so hard to evade—” he didn’t finish his sentence before Lisa sealed his lips with a warm kiss, preventing him from speaking further.

Lisa heard him take a deep breath as his fingers ran through her hair. His big left hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She knew she had kicked off something. They spent minutes going at each other hungrily, his hands running through every part of her body. She unzipped his fly and undid his leather belt. As she dug her hand into his pants and felt his organ, her body trembled. She stroked it gently with such lustful want.

“I want you.” She whispered sensually, holding him firmly. He groped her breasts as he rolled over on top of her, his breaths deep and fast. She lifted her head slightly to allow him kiss and caress her neck with his lips. He trailed the vein that led to her collar bone with his tongue. Her pulse was racing now and her brows were sweaty. He slowly unbuttoned her chiffon gown to expose her breasts. He stared in so much admiration at her perky nipples and pink areolas before taking one in his mouth and savoring. He cupped the other breast in his hand as he continued to suckle. Lisa felt her clit throb with shameless desire as she let out a moan of absolute pleasure and passion. She spread her legs underneath him as she felt his hand around her thigh. He slid further down the couch until he was at eye level with her clit.

“Still looks so beautiful," he said with lustful abandon. She hissed with passion as she felt his tongue lap her clit. He circled his tongue around her clit slowly at first and then began to lightly suckle on it. He suckled a little more intensely the more he heard her moan and felt her hand grab his hair. Lisa felt driven to ecstasy; her fingers shivered. She grabbed her breasts, moaning loudly, spreading her legs even further to accommodate all that pleasure resonating around her clit and thigh region.

“Yessss!” she screamed loudly. She could feel her orgasm building, mounting inside of her and threatening to burst out. She jerked in a frenzy, her orgasm close now as she rocketed towards her climax. She felt Reuben pull away from her.

“No, why did you do that?” she asked disappointedly.

“There is no fun in letting you cum so easily Liz, you know that.” He replied with a naughty smirk on his face. He pulled himself back on top of her and took her lips in his mouth again. She parted her lips to let her tongue savor his, she was almost going nuts with how much she wanted to feel him inside of her. He parted her legs further and guided his manhood slowly into her. Her breath stopped intermittently and then she let out a sigh.

“Please.” She whispered with her eyes teary.

“You want all of it?” he asked with pride in his deep voice.

“All nine inches.” unable to pronounce the words coherently; she swallowed.

She dug her nails in his back as she felt him slide deeper into her, a moan escaped his lips. He grabbed her arm as he thrust into her slow and hard at first. They both became lost in the passion, her legs wrapped around his waist, he gripped the back of her neck and bit down on her lower lip as he continued to thrust deep into her. Her body jerked violently underneath him as she let out a scream of ecstasy. He put his palm over her mouth as he watched the tears of satisfaction stream down her eyes. Spreading her legs even further apart, he continued to thrust in deeper, longer strokes. She kissed him as she raised her hips to meet his thrust, she watched as his eyes began to roll upwards and his hips began to gyrate.

“Please cum inside of me.” She pleaded as he hit climax, his deep voice filling her head and the entire room. He deposited his seed deep inside her and collapsed on top of top of her.

Not a single sound could be heard throughout the room safe for their breaths and the humidifier. Elisabeth couldn’t remember the last time sex with Reuben felt like this. She believed that they had exhausted all the possible sexual pleasure they could derive from each other after they married. Before marriage, she thought they would never stop wanting each other. She was so sure because they always acted like children around each other and they just couldn’t get enough. Sex with Reuben was heaven for her, she enjoyed other things that would seem of little importance with him too. She loved to snuggle by his side, walk with her hand in his, stare at him and even cook with him. After they married, everything changed; it started with the sex and soon they couldn’t even stand each other. Now here they were, and it felt new all over again.

“Feels like the first time all over again," he said with a low, satisfied tone.

Elisabeth looked away, “Mmhmm” she mumbled in reply.

“I know what you are doing Liz, all too familiar.” He teased.

“Of course you do, you were my ex-husband.” She fired back at him, her temper rising.

“Why are you acting like this is the first time we’re doing this since after our divorce?” confusion was written all over his broad face.

“No! Why are you acting like this is the first time we are doing this since after our divorce??” she reiterated, her voice getting louder.

“What’s wrong with you Liz??” Reuben asked firmly, he was frustrated already.

“What is wrong with me?” she thundered back at him as she threw his shirt at him in a fury.

“Yes. I would rather you communicate than throw tantrums like a little child.” He responded curtly, trying to suppress his now growing anger.

She looked in his eyes as she drew deep breaths; she was overreacting and she knew it but she could not help herself. There was a lot of pain and despair buried deep inside of her and a large percentage of that emotions was Reuben’s fault, so she believed. She could see the genuineness in his eyes, he was clueless and completely ignorant of what it was. He was right about the sex, it felt like the first time but she was burdened by many other things.

“I’m sorry.” She muttered.

“It’s alright Liz. I’m not mad.” He replied with a shy smile.

“It’s just, I hate to remember that you and I are no longer an item; it is a lot to deal with.” She buried her body in the sofa right opposite him and rubbed her face.

“Then why did you do it?” he asked her in a low, soft tone while staring at her intently.

“Now you want to blame me for it?” she stared up at him as she started to get defensive.

“Don’t do that Liz, we are having a simple discussion. You owe me this closure. Don’t you ever want to tell me where it all went wrong?” he sat up, his voice bold and firm as he spoke.

“You changed Reuben. You didn’t care for me as you used to anymore, you were not there for me, for us, for Umber. You were bothered about your properties, businesses and contracts that you didn’t see how much we were in need of a father and a husband. You’d go without seeing us for months and when I suggested you quit working and travel with me, you said no.” she paused and watched for a few seconds how he paid rapt attention, his eyes fixated on hers and his palms rubbing against each other; then she continued, “We promised to be there for each other forever, but you let work take you from your family and it broke me so much to see I had lost you. I tried so hard to make you understand but then you had me go for therapy because you thought I was crazy. The therapy session helped me though, it opened my eyes to see that I didn’t want to stick around if I wasn’t happy. It gave me the courage to walk away from this marriage.”

“Oh Liz! I wanted to make a lot of money so desperately so I could afford to give you and Umber adequate care. You wanted more children and that also meant more money. How couldn’t you see that I meant well?” he replied sounding distressed.

“We had more than enough money. I just wanted you to put some other person in charge of your businesses while we traveled. We needed to bond again, you and I, as well as you and Umber. He barely saw his father and I was so smitten by everything. Every day, I was loathing, hurting, unhappy; I had no choice, a divorce seemed like the answer”

“How was I to know, you never told me.” He argued.

“I told you Reuben but you passed me on to a shrink like I was some crazy old lady who was hallucinating about paranormal activities going on in her son’s house. You shut me up! I might not always know how to communicate my feelings properly but I always try. The least you could have done was turn up at therapy with me but you didn’t, you assumed I had a problem and you wanted to figure out my problem by myself with the help of the shrink but without you. You neglected me Reuben and you know it’s the truth.” She replied calmly but firmly, her fingers trembling.

“I’m so sorry Liz. I swear I didn’t know.” He covered his face in shame, shaking his head as he did.

“It’s too late now Reuben. We already signed divorce papers.” She smiled painfully.

“No. I believe we can work something out. I love you, Liz—”

“Nuh-uh,” she interrupted him, raising her forefinger and moving side to side to indicate her disagreement. “You can’t go around throwing about the L word. That’s not how it works,” she added with disappointment written all over her face.

“But I honestly do. I miss you, us, everything and I want us to go back to how we used to be. We could always correct things,” he continued. His tone was pleading now.

“This is just despicable Reuben, you’re married!” she snapped.

“That marriage is just a coping mechanism to deal with the divorce. My life shattered before my eyes after the divorce, I could not think about any other way to move on and I didn’t want to marry her; she pressured me into doing it.”

“You sound pathetic” she said again, chuckling; her face filled with mockery.

“I know I do but I don’t sound half as pathetic as my life is without you in it.”

“You have two kids with this woman for god’s sake, why are you doing this Reuben?” she asked with utter disgust.

“One of the kids isn’t mine. She was a few weeks pregnant when we met and married, she confessed to me afterwards. I want everything I had with you. I will give anything to get back with you.”

“What?!” she exclaimed as she stared at him in utter disbelief, he seemed genuine. She had never seen him so emotional, the fear and hopelessness in his eyes was new to her.

“Nothing is the same, Liz. Not the sex, the happiness, the food, the life. I am the most miserable of men. I’m sorry, I must sound pathetic saying all these things to you like this, especially after we just had a good time, but I guess I just wanted you to know that I am not out there leading a happy, perfect life as you might think. I miss you. I know what I lost and eight years is not enough time for me to move past it.” He feigned a smile and began to re-dress.

Elisabeth sat there in great astonishment, her heart’s rhythm suddenly chaotic. She knew he was telling the truth; she could see in his eyes and she heard it in the pain that his voice carried. He remarried two years after they had divorced, she had really thought he was leading a happy, fulfilled life. His businesses boomed, he was all over the newspapers, granting interviews for 'successful men in businesses.' His new family seemed happy, he went everywhere with his wife and little kid, even when she took in again, he took her everywhere with him. He dedicated every new idea to her, acknowledged her every time he was to give a speech, he called her supportive at every interview. Elisabeth became so miserable that she blamed herself, maybe she wasn’t patient, understanding and supportive enough, and maybe she was asking for too much. The loneliness ate deep into her soul, but Umber was her support system, until he disappeared four years ago.

“I would be traveling for a business meeting, alone this time. I want you to come with me. Let’s try that vacation you wanted together.” He asked politely as he grabbed his car keys and stood to his feet.

“What, no!” she exclaimed in shock.

“That’s alright. If you change your mind, you can call my phone. I leave in three days so you have all the time to really think about it," he said dipping his hands in his pockets and stretching awkwardly.

“Okay.” She responded quietly.

“See you around. I do hope you'll ring me; it’d make me the happiest man.”

Elisabeth watched as he walked out the front door and closed it gently behind him. It was unbelievable, she was struck, dumbfounded. She suddenly remembered when she served him the divorce papers; he was just returning from a trip, looking excited because he got the contract he had traveled so desperately for, despite that she had begged him not to go because it was her birthday and traveling meant being absent on her birthday. Her therapy sessions also already made her feel like she was some psycho of sorts because she informed her therapist on her birthday about how unimportant she had felt because Reuben traveled out despite knowing that he was going to miss her birthday. She expected some sort of justification from her therapist but the sexagenarian seemed to have pointed out that she needed to get a job, because she remembered her asking, “do you think you would not be bothered by all of these if you had a job of your own?”

That day, Elisabeth made up her mind to go through with the divorce. She hated the feeling of inadequacy too so she went in search of a job. She got it with “The Firm” just before the court hearing that eventually led to the divorce. She wanted to see if having a job would make her seek less attention from Reuben but it didn’t. Every day, she returned from work with so much to talk to him about but as usual, he was never home. He even flew in from Tokyo during their court session, they never had time to really discuss her decision to go through with a divorce. He simply signed the papers when she served them to him, no arguments, and questions whatsoever. She went through with the divorce without knowing how Reuben felt because he never expressed himself to her in anyway. This was the first time he ever spoke to her concerning their divorce and now that she casted her mind back at how things went, she found it difficult to believe all he had just said. Her phone rang, putting her out of her misery.

“Hello, detective Nathan.” She responded, exchanging pleasantries.

“The case on your son’s disappearance has been reopened as you requested. If you have any information that would help us find him, you can come to the police station or call my number," he said faintly at the other end of the receiver.

“Thank you so much. Yes, bye.”

She grinned so broadly that a tear ran down her right cheek. There was nothing else that mattered more than finding Umber. She sniffled and began to sob as she placed her face in her palms. She was so exhausted, she wanted everything to come to an end just as soon as it had started. She was trying hard to stay sane, strong and hopeful and more than anything else in the world, she wanted to find Umber, dead or alive.