Chapter Six - Heartache

Rory’s Perspective:

Hearing Sarai’s voice was a welcomed relief after everything that I have gone through during the past few days and as I wasn’t able to talk to her since her abduction, made this moment bitter-sweet. I spent the past couple of days searching for the man who could return me to Shanaledge, which proved to be quite a challenge. But I was fueled by the anger I felt towards myself for not protecting Sarai, for letting her down once again. But at this moment, I was filled with joy when I first heard her voice. Just knowing she is still alive made everything that much better for me, until the conversation drastically changed.

“Rory… I think I may have somehow truly started having feelings for Silas…” Sarai’s voice rang in my ears. The enthusiasm that was once there, had turned into sadness, tinged with guilt.

“That’s not possible, my love.” I started in disbelief, trying to reassure her that what she was saying could not be true.

“That’s what I thought… But…” Her voice sounded small, almost as if she were about to start crying if she wasn’t already.

“Do you love him?” I questioned as the pain from her words stabbed me in the chest like a hot dagger. I felt like I was losing her all over again.

“No… I don’t know…”

“Baby, he is just toying with your emotions. He is trying to confuse you to further his purpose. I told you that he will break you down, physically, mentally, and emotionally.” I stated, trying to reassure her, trying to reassure myself.

“Deep down, I know that. I do not feel the same way about him as I do for you. I mean, I don’t feel that same pull towards him as I do for you… But…” I heard her hesitation. Something happened that she doesn’t want me to know about. Something that she doesn’t want to admit. “But when he kissed me….”

“He kissed you!?” I asked as rage started burning within me. I wanted to beat Silas to a bloody pulp.

“Yes…” Sarai sobbed. I could feel her guilt in her voice.

I breathed out a sigh of defeat. "This isn’t happening,” I replied, more to myself than her, unwilling to believe Sarai’s words.

“I don’t know what to do, Rory. I’m so confused.” Her voice sounded weak and helpless.

“Sarai, I will get to you. I will save you!” I replied. “Sarai?” No response. “Baby?” Nothing. “Dammit!”

I need to find this man before it’s too late. I need to get to Shanaledge. I just found out how much of my willpower is stretched between defeating Silas and finding Sarai to try to break this ridiculous, toxic cycle. I have dealt with too many lifetimes with heartbreak and I just cannot go through one more knowing I failed Sarai yet again.

I reflect on the conversation I just had with Sarai. My mouth becomes dry as a lump swells in my throat. What if this is the reason why she always perished in the past? So consumed with guilt… No… This had to be something new… The uncontrollable rage I feel is accompanied by a pain in my chest. My stomach feels as though it is in knots. Nausea gets the better of me as I become sick and disoriented.

“You alright?” Eden’s voice breaks the silence.

Holding on to a tree, I began to think, ignoring Eden’s question. So what is Silas’s angle? He has never shown Sarai the slightest bit of affection, and now all of a sudden he has taken a special romantic interest in her? What the hell is going on?

“What happened? Did you eat a bad mushroom or something?” Eden joked half-heartedly.

I just shook my head in response. Gritting my teeth, I couldn’t take this anymore and started punching a tree to let off some steam.

“Dude, what is going on?” Eden questioned, thoroughly confused and concerned that I have gone mad.

“It’s Sarai,” I replied, voice hoarse.

Eden stared inquisitively, waiting for me to elaborate with attentiveness.

“She somehow found a way to communicate with me just now… He’s messing with her head.” The helplessness that she conveyed, made the pain in my chest radiate more. “Silas is making her believe that he is her soulmate,” I continued through clenched teeth. “He’s making her marry him.”

“What!?” Eden responded, becoming visibly enraged. “When?”

“Three weeks, in Shanaledge. We maybe have three months to here.”

Eden looked disgusted, unable to fathom what good could come of this.

“We need to get to her…” I began with determination. “We need to find this man…”

Eden nodded, readying himself for the journey ahead.

There is only one thing I can focus on now: getting to Sarai before the wedding. Something horrible is brewing, and whatever it is, I do not want Sarai to be the cause of it.

Sarai’s Perspective:

“Rory?” I sobbed, trying to reach him, but he wouldn’t respond. Is he furious with me? What would he plan on doing? How would he get here? What would happen if he did get here?

I want nothing more than for Rory to be here with me, but I don’t want him to die. Feeling worse than I did before, I spent the remainder of the night sobbing in my room, all alone, waiting to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

The next morning everything was the same as usual. Eleanor came in first thing in the morning, helped me into a ridiculous dress, and made sure I ate some breakfast. “Lord Silas would like for you to spend some time in the garden,” Eleanor said as she started gathering the dirty dishes.

The depression I felt had suddenly lifted. I was ecstatic about this. Finally! I can roam the castle freely! I thought to myself as I started to see the light at the end of this abysmal tunnel. I was still taken aback by surprise that Silas would allow me to leave this room, considering I had slapped him. Even though I did this, I must have some semblance of trust from him. Hopefully, sometime soon I will be able to find Ruth and get her the hell out of this place!

Unfortunately, me walking around the castle freely was not what Silas had in mind. Silas made sure there were at least two guards with me at all times. The guards outside my door escorted me down the corridor, around the corridor, down a few staircases, and through another corridor. When I finally reached the garden with the guards, I was suddenly cast back into a miserable state when I found Silas standing just outside the door, waiting for me.

Instantly, the weight that I felt melt away from my shoulders just moments ago, came back with a debilitating crash. Resentment rose within me as Silas stared at me smiling. His gaze made me squirm with embarrassment.

Silas began sincerely, “I know you are angry with me,” He started, still holding the same smile, “but you will soon understand that this is the way things were always meant to be.”

I stared at him confused. Why does everyone keep saying that this is the way things are meant to be? The thought crossed my mind bitterly. “What do you mean?” My voice sounded sheepish.

“We must be together. You are my one true love. We were meant to rule this land together.” He paused for a moment before taking in a breath. “For my vision to work, you must be by my side.” Silas’s eyes drifted at his last statement, as though he was speaking more to himself than to me.

“And you think forcing me to marry you will work?” I started heatedly. “That might be how you do things here, but where I come from, that’s not how things work!” I paused. “Well… In some parts that can still occur, but that’s beside the point!”

Silas smiled a little bit, partly amused by my last statement. “You will come around.” He stated with a spark in his eyes. “I have so much more in store for you.”

His statement sent chills down my spine. Oh crap… I’m in so much trouble… What else could he have in store for me? Nausea hit me, as I could feel the blood drain from my face. Terror-stricken, I was unable to speak.

“I’ll leave you to enjoy your garden, my darling. Until later.” He said, kissing me on the cheek. I felt the electric sensation spread through my body from his touch, causing a pang to hit me in the pit of my stomach.

After Silas left, I came to my senses. Looking at my surroundings, I noticed a guard positioned in front of the entrance to the castle. My heart sank as I realized that Silas must not trust me all that much.

Since I was out here, I took this opportunity to look around the beautiful garden. There was so much packed into the gorgeous area. I walked down the stone steps into the grassy area where a dirt pathway was built to guide one to different areas of the garden. The path on the left proceeded to a fountain that had interesting rose-like bushes that followed alongside the path. The fountain was fairly big with a statue on top of a woman. The path directly ahead of me was made of stone and leads to a pond, with a tiny wooden bridge. A few birds, that resembled ducks, were swimming around on top of the water. Just passed this bridge was the gazebo, where Silas brought me just last night. To the right of me was another dirt path which led to more interesting flowers and bushes. This path looked to wrap around the entire garden, so I decided to follow this trail.

As I walked this footpath, I walked past a few wooden benches along with an abundance of alien plant life. I took this time to forget about my worries. I was finally able to look at this garden that called to me… Even though I had no idea what plant life I was looking at. I still took it all in, staring, admiring the garden in all its beauty.

Psst.

The sound startled me at first. I looked around and found Asher hiding next to a stone wall behind a bush that was covered in pretty yellow-orange flowers, which kind of resembled tiger lilies. It was obvious Asher was sneaking around so Silas didn’t know he was here and so the guard at the entrance of the castle wouldn’t see him.

I glanced at the guard, who looked like a little speck now since I traveled so far along this path. I walked towards the bush, touching the flowers, to make it seem as if I was interested in the plant rather than talking to someone. Even though I was a good distance from the guard and my back was to him, I didn’t want him to become suspicious and investigate the area.

“Why are you hiding in these bushes?” I questioned in a quiet monotone.

“Silas cannot know I am talking to you. The guard cannot know I am here speaking to you.” Asher said, stating the obvious.

“So why are you here?” I continued, wanting to cut through all the banter. I wanted to enjoy my time outside of the castle, away from all the problems, not be constantly reminded of them.

“I needed to apologize to you for last night,” Asher admitted quietly, shame tinting his voice. “I am racking my brains, trying to come up with a solid plan to get all of us out of here.” He whispered quickly. “Look, the only logical thing for you to do at this moment is to go along with the engagement. I know you hate the idea, and I’m sorry it’s not the best plan to come to mind, but you know you must remain on Silas’s good side, not only for me, but for Ruth, Rory, and yourself.” He pleaded urgently. “If you piss him off, or decide against the marriage, he will kill Ruth. He will also kill Rory. And not that it’s any consolation, but he will kill me as well. He wants to beat you down by taking away everyone you hold close. He will even break you if necessary.”

“How do you know all of this?” I replied in disgusted awe.

“I am his right hand, Sarai. I was there while he discussed his plans.” He paused for a moment, taking note that the guard looked towards them. “Sarai, this isn’t good. The things he has planned to do with you… It’s just horrible.”

“So what do we do?” My heart started racing as I grew pale.

“For now… All we can do is play the game.”

I was not comforted by this information or Asher’s solution. ‘Oh no, go ahead and marry the person who wants to destroy the entire realm, and oh, by the way, he has some twisted designs for you to accomplish.’ Great. I breathed deeply, swallowing my pride, and decided to change the subject. “I was able to speak to Rory last night.” Tears filled my eyes as I remembered our conversation.

“Really?” Asher replied with surprise, glancing at me for a moment, before looking back toward the guard.

“He said he was going to find a way here. But I’m not sure how.”

“I’m pretty sure I know what he’s up to,” Asher responded, still gazing over Sarai’s shoulder as the guard started on the path toward them.

“I told him what happened and then he stopped talking.” I continued, not reacting or acknowledging Asher’s statement.

Asher noticed the pain in my eyes. “If I know Rory, it only made him angry and jealous. He isn’t angry with you, but with himself. I’m sure he is more motivated than ever to make it here.”

Tears began to run down my cheeks. “I told him I may essentially have feelings for Silas.”

Asher remained silent.

My sobs broke through the quiet.

“Sarai…” Asher started. “You cannot allow Silas to do this to you. Trust me. He is only trying to confuse you. You are meant to be with Rory.” He tried to reassure me.

“You told me he was…”

“Shh… The guard is coming.” Asher whispered, cutting me off, before disappearing.

“Lady Sarai, is there something wrong?” The guard questioned when he finally made it to where I was, looking over my shoulder to look at the bush I had seemingly been staring at.

“Yes. Everything is fine.” I replied quickly, wiping my face of the tears. “I’m just admiring the flowers on this bush.” My voice was shaky. “The foliage in my realm are beautiful, but they are nothing compared to the ones in this garden.” I continued my lie about my sudden sadness.

“Very well…” The guard responded suspiciously. He glanced back at the bush one last time before turning around to leave.

When the guard was enough distance away, I walked a few feet to another bush and began again, “Asher?” No response. “Asher, are you still here?” I asked again, but I still did not receive a reply. I walked closer to the bush to peek around the other side to find Asher was no longer there.

I glanced around the garden trying to find some sign of where Asher could have gone, but there was nothing to indicate he was ever there.

I was disappointed that our conversation was cut short. Even though Asher and I do not get along, for some inexplicable reason being able to talk to him about everything, just being able to talk about what happened with Rory, really made me feel a little better.

Continuing my walk around the garden, I cherished the different plants, the pond, the birds, the fresh air, and the small amount of freedom. It was quiet in the garden, except for the birds chirping in the background which had basically become white noise. I continued to spend a couple of hours alone wandering the garden with nothing but my thoughts.

Although I wanted to enjoy this peaceful scenery, talking to Asher made me contemplate the situation I found myself in with Rory and Silas. I love Rory and know with every fiber of my being that I am meant to be with him. Silas is just a distraction who is completely wrong for me. Even if it turns out Silas is my true soulmate somehow, I choose to not allow this fact to override my decisions. I must follow along with Silas’s decisions for now so I can become close enough to him to help those poor townspeople, my best friend, and free myself. It is also extremely important that I free the rightful heirs of this realm.

At this moment, I found myself more determined to change things for the better. This isn’t about me. Regardless of what Silas and everyone else says, this is ultimately about thousands of innocent lives. No matter if I become consumed with intense feelings for Silas, it doesn’t change the fact that he is playing a game with me. I’ll play and I refuse to play into his trap.

With all of this running through my mind, I grudgingly choose to marry Silas. I will act happy and excited for the big day to arrive, no matter how much I detest his character and the whole idea of Silas being my husband. A chill shot down my spine as the idea of it all sickened me.

“Lady Sarai,” the guard speaks breaking my attention. I had been sitting on a bench next to the pond, watching the birds swim as I became lost in thought. “Lord Silas requests your company.”

The guard escorted me back into the castle and headed toward a different corridor. I studied all the halls, taking note of another staircase that appeared to go down from the first floor. That must be the way to the dungeon, I thought to myself as I obediently followed the guard.

This side of the castle was decorated differently from the rest of the places I had seen. There were mirrors, paintings, and knick-knacks hung on the walls. The décor looked outrageously expensive.

We passed large windows that allowed sunlight to come into the corridor and provide an immense amount of natural lighting. From this corridor, was an excellent view of the garden as well. Silas could have been watching her from this window the entire time she was out in the garden.

I followed the guard up a flight of stairs to the third floor.

I wonder where Silas wants me to meet him… I thought as I continued behind the guard.

Normally, when Silas wanted to see her, they would just meet in the dining hall. But this was odd. My heart started racing as butterflies started fluttering in my stomach, making me feel nauseous once again today.

When we made it to the third floor, we continued our journey down a dimly lit hallway. The candles were placed precariously, creating an ominous atmosphere. I did not have a good feeling about this.

I tried to push the fear that was growing inside me down. I tried to clear my head and brace myself for anything that could happen once I was face to face with Silas.

The guard and I walked past four wooden doors in this hallway before standing in front of two tall wooden doors with elaborate decorative designs carved into the wood. The guard opened the doors and ushered me inside.

My mouth dropped open when I saw walls of books touching the twelve-foot ceiling. There were shelves and shelves of books. I could not believe the castle held such a large library within it. The room was enormous!

Three walls contained nothing but books, while one held an extremely large window that had a lounge area situated next to it. Besides the walls, there were also three tall and very wide bookcases which continued to house more books. I felt like I was in heaven!

Silas and Asher were heatedly discussing something in the lounge area. They were so absorbed in their intense debate they did not realize that the guard and I had entered the room.

“But my lord, what would be the point?” Asher questioned, anger rising in his voice. “She wouldn’t stand for it!”

Silas was about to reply when the guard cut them off. “Lady Sarai, my lord.”

Silas stared lustfully at Sarai. “Leave us.” He said to the guard and Asher as he continued staring and smiling at me with intense, longing eyes.

I smiled back at him, slightly blushing as I became self-conscious, glancing at Asher who looked annoyed. Asher held my gaze for just a moment, and in that split second, I saw desperation, he wanted to tell me something. I was confused by Asher’s look but shook off any emotions I had at the moment to focus on Silas.

“How are you feeling?” Silas asked me when they were finally alone.

“Better, thank you,” I replied, gazing into his eyes.

“That’s good.” He responded walking to a chair to sit. “Please, sit,” Silas states as he motioned to a chair across from him.

I took a seat without saying anything.

“So how do you feel about our engagement now that you have had some time to think about it?”

“At first, I wasn’t so sure… But now I’m feeling a lot better about it.” I responded, trying to sound convincing with a smile. I wasn’t happy about it, but according to Asher and Rory, what other choice did I have? However, Silas’s face drew a hint of suspicion after my words. “I mean, who wouldn’t like being married to a handsome king?” I countered, with a compliment.

This statement caught Silas off guard. He began to blush a little and continued to look a little suspicious of my sudden change of heart.

“It doesn’t hurt that you are king.” I stammered, knowing I should keep quiet, but unable to make myself shut up. “I mean every girl dreams of meeting a prince.” I continued nervously. Clearing my throat, I stood up, making myself appear smitten with him, which was a lot easier than I’d like to admit. I walked over to him and sat in his lap. My action caught him off guard. Catching myself off guard as well. What am I doing? “So, have you been thinking about that kiss as much as I have?” I questioned, my breath washing over his face as I flirtatiously played with the button on the chest of his shirt.

That should distract him, I thought to myself as he stared at me dumbfounded.

“How much have you been thinking about it?” Silas breathed.

I moved my face close to his. My face inches away from his. I could feel his heart start beating faster. “All day,” I whispered, preparing myself for what I was about to do. Without putting a lot of thought into my actions, I pulled him in for a long and passionate kiss.

Silas’s hands slowly moved to her waist. I hugged him around his neck, feeling him harden. To make him more, I nibbled his lip, causing him to let out a moan and grab my breasts. Within this instant, I put everything out of my mind and allowed myself to just let go. I was intending to distract him, but I also unintentionally diverted myself. The electric fire that I felt with every touch, the burning intensity, desire that I experienced with Rory, I could feel with Silas, triggering lustful thoughts.

As I started unbuttoning his shirt, I continued kissing his neck. I could feel he was at full attention when he began to slowly undo my dress.

“Excuse me, my lord.” Asher’s voice broke in, startling me. I jerked away from Silas breathing heavily. What was I doing?

“I’m terribly sorry to interrupt.” He continued his voice bold and direct.

Silas stared at him irately.

“You are needed.” Asher finished. He glanced at me with bewilderment and suspicion as I continued to try and compose myself.

“Really Asher?” Silas burst aggravated. “Right now?”

“It is urgent my lord,” Asher replied.

Silas let out an aggravated sigh, caressing my cheek while giving me one last kiss on the lips. “Until later, my darling.” He said with lust in his eyes.

While Silas walked out, Asher looked at me, as I slightly blushed. I felt slightly embarrassed, ashamed, and incredibly remorseful at the judgmental stare Asher threw my way. I felt sick.

After the passionate encounter with Silas in the castle library, I returned to my room and remained there until late that evening. Eleanor came in to provide me with food, Silas must have a lot to deal with and assisted with getting me out of my dress. It was unusual for Eleanor to be so silent after I had broken Eleanor of her quietness.

As Eleanor helped me undress, I started, “Why are you so quiet tonight? Did something happen?”

She stopped what she was doing and looked into my eyes with sincerity. “I’m just trying to figure out what you are doing.”

I looked confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Today, you were seen making out with Lord Silas in the library. What were you doing that for?” Loathing filled her voice.

My face became red. I didn’t expect this place to be like a high school with all the gossip. “Oh… Well…” I stammered. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

Eleanor stared at me doubtfully.

“I’m just trying to figure things out…” I admitted, not trying to reveal too much.

“So… You don’t have feelings for him then?” Eleanor questioned with hope in her eyes.

“Of course not!” I lied.

“Good. I have to admit, I did become a bit worried there for a second.” Eleanor said before finishing her duties. “Is there anything else you may need?”

“No, thank you.”

“Ok. I’ll leave you to it then.” She replied while heading out the door.

I sat in bed, thinking about what happened in the library. I really enjoyed Silas’s touch, which made me feel sick. Why is this happening? How did that monster get under my skin? What am I doing? I continued to wonder, while mindlessly fingering the amulet around my neck.

Asher came barging through the door flabbergasted. “What the hell did I walk in on in the library?” He questioned disgusted.

I was taken aback by his sudden intrusion. “I’m just doing what you said to do,” I replied defensively.

“I said to stay on his good side, not fuck him!” He yelled reproachfully.

“I didn’t do that!” I yelled back at him, ashamed.

“If I didn’t show up that’s where it would’ve headed Sarai, and you know it!”

I felt sick. My cheeks burned as my eyes filled with tears. I felt so angry by Asher’s allegations, but I knew if Asher hadn’t interrupted, I would probably feel a lot worse about myself at this moment than I already do.

Asher let out an irritated sigh. “What about Rory?”

The mention of his name felt like a knife sliced my heart. “He will understand one day…” I said quietly lying to myself.

Noticing the look on my face, Asher held his tongue. “I’m sure in the long run, he should understand.” He stated in a monotonous tone. “Look, I just… I just want to make sure that nothing else is going on.”

“All I’m doing is making sure I gain his trust!” I argued. “He was becoming suspicious of my sudden acceptance of our engagement, I needed to do something!” I stopped looking at Asher and turned my attention to the window, gazing at the night sky.

“Sarai, I think you are getting in way over your head here.” Asher continued. “You told me earlier that you think you may have feelings for the guy… somehow, which I really don’t want to try and figure out. But what I am concerned with is if you start acting on your emotions, rather than the importance of everyone’s life, rather than this whole realm?”

“I’m not going to forget what is at stake here,” I remarked emotionless as I continued to stare out the window.

“How can I be so sure?” Asher questioned a bit aggravated by my nonchalant attitude.

“Because I just can’t.” I started as I looked Asher in the eye sternly. “With everything he has put me through, everything he has probably done to Ruth, and everything that he has done to the poor people in this realm. I won’t allow anything to get in the way of doing what’s right for this realm.”

Asher let out a defeated sigh while sitting down next to her. “So what’s the plan?”

I didn’t say anything at first. What is my plan? “I don’t have an idea hashed out yet. All I know I am doing is trying to keep Silas’s trust so I can be let in on a few different little things and be close enough to foil his plans.”

“That’s all you’ve got?” Asher replied incredulously. “What is that supposed to accomplish? You haven’t thought about trying to find Ruth? What about the possibility we get found out? I have been risking my very existence for you!” He ranted appalled. “Do you even know what any of us have to go through for you? We have had to put our lives in your hands!”

“I never asked for this,” I remarked. “I never asked for any of you to do that.”

“Yet here we are.” He responded bitterly.

I didn’t know what to say, as I felt even more mortified of myself and my actions.

Asher let out a loud exhale. “Look, whatever is going on with you and Silas, I cannot help you with. No matter how much I protest this unusual relationship, no matter how much I scream at the top of my lungs that he is only trying to break Rory, you will do what you want. However, you need to remember Silas is the enemy of a lot of your loved ones.” He paused as he scratched the back of his head in contemplation. “There are a few abilities I can help you to learn. We still need to train you to better maneuver in others' minds. I can even train you with mental combat.”

I stared at him confused. “Why are you doing this now? What if Silas finds out?”

“I’m doing this to show you that I trust you will make the right choice.” He responded. “Also, you are going to be in close quarters to Silas a lot for a long time, with you being his wife soon and all… It couldn’t hurt digging around in his head to know a few things. He ordered me to teach you how to do a few minor things… But it won’t hurt to go a little beyond that without him knowing.”

I smiled weakly at him.

“Now, I can only help you with things I know how to do. If there are things you want to learn and train at that I wasn’t born with, then I cannot help you with those, okay?”

“Got it.”

“Let’s get started.”