Chapter 84 84

Chapter 84 84
ADELINE
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Heaven was…warm. Or was I thrown into the endless depths? No angels too, no hymns being sung in the background, there was just a still and a quiet that was both relaxing and unnerving.
A lick of cold air swept through the warmth, waking goosebumps all over my skin. Wait, I could still feel in the afterlife? Who would have thought?
A giggle worked its way up from my belly, inexplicable excitement taking over because I was actually here. Shouldn’t I have gone through the waking up to my body bit of it though? No?
An image of myself passed out, hunched over trying to clench tighter, get a better grip of my stomach, hoping that maybe that would have ease what I could only describe as the most excruciating pain to ever exist. My stomach had tried to turn intensely over from the inside out. It was like bare flesh rubbing against granite and it was unrelenting and so gripping that the moisture that had formed a pool around me was the least of my worries.
My last thoughts had consisted mainly of, to put it plainly, resignation. I was so tired of fighting. For survival. For love. For my baby, for a life I wished I had had while growing up, but never did. There was no way I would bring a child into this world who wouldn’t be loved by his or her father, a child who’d only be exposed to an argument, a possible dysfunction on their first day. I would rather die. Pretty ironic considering I did.
How long had I been gone now? Does Johnny ask of me? Does his constant asking irritate Gray-Mr Archer. Not sure what I was expecting but I thought there’d be more light, more singing, not pitch black.
“Adeline!” A voice echoed in the distance, too far to locate its owner so I ignored it.
Beeping. Lots of it. Constant and almost rhythmic.
“Adeline!” The voice called, this time louder, closer, but still, there was no face to associate it with. Although, it did sound oddly familiar.
“Grayson?” I called into emptiness, not even sure what direction I should have been facing, but turning every which way.
“Adeline, snap out of it! You’re a fighter!” The voice I heard. I knew its owner and this time it was so loud, it was as if he stood right by my ear before screaming.
A strange feeling crawled up my spin, blood rushed to my brain at an alarming pace, but before I could get a grasp of what was happening, I was dumped into an hospital bed, the beeping continued right above me.
“Adeline! Oh shit! You had me so worried!” Grayson rushed to my side, his hand gripped my right one in a tight grip, his eyes scanned my entire body from head down, tilting my neck to one side so he could be settled.
My head was heavy, like someone had thrown in a load of granite in place of my brain, but the worst part was the banging, like someone gave a toddler drumsticks in my head and told them to do whatever they. My entire body was foreign to me. To put simply, I was groggy and I all I wanted to do was lay in that…sponge.
I blinked furiously, my vision blurred by something, I wasn’t even sure.
“Where am I? What is this place? How did we get here?” The first question on my mind popped out before I could stop it.
Grayson sighed. His hand reached for me, but last minute, he stopped. “Where do I even begin.” He looked away, but it was too late. Nothing but guilt and regret filled those eyes. It would have been the time where I would swallow it up and focus on what has his eyebrows in such a deep frown. If he did the same, maybe it would have been the same, but time and again, he had shown me that he wasn’t in the same headspace as I was. Where I cared about his comfort and peace, he didn’t give a shit about mine.
“Where are we?”
Grayson let out a long sigh, heavy with exhaustion, “The hospital, you were passed out on the floor with a pool of blood.”
My hand reflexively went to my belly. Was it still there, was it gone? “The baby?” I tried and failed to keep the panic out of my voice. I shouldn’t care for it, I did almost make the biggest mistake of my life. And for what? A man
“Thankfully the baby is fine . Any second longer and we… no need for alll of that no
I let out a heavy sigh I hadn’t even realized I was holding the entire time.
Looking at him hurt. It was worse because I still wanted him, that stupid part of my heart bjay just wouldn’t listen to common reasoning still wanted to be with him despite it all. I couldn’t trust myself not to reach for him so I did the only reasonable thing to do. I looked away.
“Adeline please look at me.” His voice was butter, melting over my skin easily, sinking in and seducing me to listen to him, but I had done enough of listening, because where did all that get me? Alone with a bottle of pills and he couldn’t even let me have my escape when he already chose Scarlett.
“If you have something to say. Just say it. It’s not like looking at you ever changes anything.” I snapped and it was like the fibers of my heart were snapping themselves. Everytime it was look at me, just to be dished more promises he’d never keep.
“Adeline I…” he trailed off, unable to say anything meaningful. No surprise there.
The hospital drape separating my bed from the mini walkway, wasn’t interesting, maybe the unique pattern on the fabric, but really, the tension in the air grew by the second and I shuffled to find a good position on the bed, but it was like sitting on a bed of rocks with no breathing room in between.
“Adeline, I’m sorry.” He said slowly, like he was testing the words on his tongue. His voice was so low, so uncertain, it was unlike the Grayson I’d grown to know. Grayson was always certain, sure of himself and quick with decisions, but most of all, he would never stoop so low as to be apologetic?
I almost caved. He chose his ex-wife, Scarlett. He saw us both in the kitchen, both surrounded by broken glass, both wounded and he’d chosen her anyways. He made his choice.
“Why?” He asked, barely above a whisper.
I knew what he was asking. The real question was did he deserve a response? He didn’t care just… wait, how long had it been? Whatever. He didn’t care when he was in a hurry to get Scarlett to the hospital, so it was none of his business.
I had never stared at an unmoving object like I did at the drape, it was the ugliest colour too, mustard yellow, but it was either that or look at him and risk melting again, letting my brain go on a vacation and fall for all his fake promises that meant exactly shit.
“Adeline?” He reached for my arm, but before he could make contact, I pulled back. No looking at his distracting face and definitely, no touching!
“What?” I snapped right back, because he was wearing, scratch that, he had succeeded in wearing my patience thin.
“Why would you risk your life like that, the baby’s too.”
“You mean the lives you didn’t give a shit about when you rushed off with your ex wife?!” My blood boiled hotter, anger coursed through my vein like blood itself. He knew he messed up, so why was he coming at me like he was some innocent lad who had no idea what he did wrong. If sympathy was what he was looking out for, I was the wrong person to get it from.
“Adeline, I do care about you and the baby, but especially you.”
“You have a weird way of showing it.” I scoffed, holding on to the sheets, the urge to fold my arms hard to resist.
“I know. I been an asshat these past few days, but I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was so focused on the plan that I forgot you were exactly why I had to make sure nothing went wrong with it.”
Plan? “What plan? I don’t- I don’t understand.”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s in the past now. If it would cost me the most precious person to me right now, it isn’t worth it.” My cheeks burned with awareness the longer his eyes took in my face like he was trying to memorize every outline and curve of it for a portrait.
“While I appreciate that, I still am curious, what plan was so important you had to leave me surrounded by broken glass? You weren’t even ready to hear me out!” I rushed, barely breathing because the words tumbled out, one after the other in a jumbled mess.
“I was going to get Scarlett out of
our lives for good and make sure she doesn’t get custody of Johnny either while at it.”