(Winona)
This is my second night in the hotel and I'm expecting Lisa to come visit. But I need a shower because I've slept half the day, too sad to get out of bed. I had the hotel restaurant make her a cake and stock the mini bar.
Although I won't be drinking alcohol, I'll mix the drinks and pretend. I fly out tomorrow. I'm not even telling her I'm pregnant. I can't tell anyone. Not if I want to keep my baby.
I need her to believe I'm okay because I can never have her come and visit me. We probably won't see each other again for a while, unless I am sure Jayden's mother won't do anything to the child.
It's my only hope right now. It's fifteen minutes until she arrives. I text to say the hotel door is unlocked and to come right in, I'm having a shower. I get back a thumbs up.
The hot water cascades over me and I rub my hands over my belly. Soon enough I'll start to show. I need to go where no one knows me or my past and reinvent myself and my story. I could stay here forever but I know I better get moving.
I turn off the water and grab a huge white fluffy hotel towel to wrap up in. I pull a thinner hair towel out of my toiletries bag and wrap it around my head. I grab the basin as I stand up because I feel like I'll faint any second. Maybe the water was too hot or I bent over and stood up too quickly.
I can't go to a doctor here. I'll have to wait until I find somewhere to live in my old city, but nowhere near where I used to be. No one can remember who I am.
My other hand goes protectively to my abdomen as I hold the basin for support.
"You better not be pregnant."
I opened my eyes in surprise. That isn't Lisa's voice, it's Ashlyn.
"Oh my God, what are you doing in here? Get out!"
Her face twists into something I've never seen before. "The door was unlocked, you should be more careful."
"You shouldn't be snooping around trying doors. How did you know where I'm staying?"
"I guess I'm more resourceful than you think." Her eyes follow my every move.
I do not feel safe right now and I'm glad Lisa will be here any minute. "You better leave before Lisa gets here." I push past Ashlyn and go to the living room and open the door for her to leave. "Are you pregnant?" She says as she advances.
"None of your business, is it?"
"I'm making it my business."
I laugh to put her off her guard a little. "Feeling threatened, are we? Scared you might lose this man that loves you so, so much," I say sarcastically.
"If you think a baby will change how he feels about you now, you are dead wrong. Jayden loves me now and I love him." Her eyes are burning with hostility.Content is property © Nôdaisynovel.com.
I could just slap her. Maybe she's desperate enough to try anything to keep him with her. Maybe she already has.
"I'm not pregnant, Ashlyn." I say in a bored voice. "Nothing would be worse for me right now. I just want to leave here and forget everything about Jayden. So just leave."
She eyes me suspiciously.
"You better not be lying." Her crazy eyes glare at me.
We've been friends for almost as long as me and Jayden were together. She was like a little sister to me. I taught her everything from schoolwork to relationships. Now she's giving me strong stalker vibes.
Her family is rich too, but she seemed so different to them all. An only child like me. She wanted my friendship. I've never had anyone to look up to me like that.
It felt good to be a role model. We met at a cocktail evening Jayden's mother was having. I went and said hello as she was alone in a corner. She's three years younger than me and we talked about her struggles at high school. I offered to help her out.
She always copied me in everything. We did our makeup and hair together, we went shopping. I thought it was cute, but now I suspect she has been in love with Jayden for a long time. Probably from the start.
Since I'd recovered from my coma and been trying to convince Jayden about our love, Ashlyn was very supportive. But she was obviously shocked to see me back and they were obviously a lot closer than I was comfortable with.
She seemed so calm and loving to him, making him believe that she respects our marriage if that's what he decided. Soon after I came back to find him, I realized they had more than a friendship and that his family, especially his mother, much preferred Ashlyn over me. "Are you afraid of the day he remembers me?" I counter as she passes me to go out the door. "Afraid he'll want what you and I both know we had again?"
Seeing her face turned as white as a sheet, gives me some satisfaction.
But then her face hardens. "Won't matter if you're not going to be alive when he remembers." Her expression now really scares me. I stop myself from talking back because I have a baby to think of.
Unlike me, they all come from powerful families and endless money.
Without the Jayden I knew and loved, there's no one to protect me or this child.
"Ashlyn, I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm not pregnant and It's obvious Jayden loves you now. I accept that. Just let me go and live my life. I hope the two of you are very happy."
"What in the hell is she doing here?" Lisa is storming along the hallway towards us in the doorway.
She grabs Ashlyn by the sleeve and pulls her out of the doorway away from me. "I should slap you silly. How dare you be here. You got what you wanted. Leave Winona alone or you'll be picking gravel out of your perfect white teeth." "Lisa. It's okay. She was just leaving."
"Damn right she's leaving." Lisa has her hands on her hips.
Ashlyn goes past her and we go inside and shut the door. I lock it.
"What was that about? Why did you let her in here?"
"I didn't. I'd left the door unlocked and next thing she was in the bathroom with me."
"I'm telling you, she's a strange one. I always thought that. Stage five clinger."
"Look, let's just enjoy our night. Forget her. Forget Jayden. This is a new start. Let me go and get dressed then I'll pour us drinks."
"Sounds perfect."
I'm not going to cry but I want to. Tonight may be the last time I see my best friend in the whole world and I can't even share the most amazing experience of my life with her. She would make such an awesome aunt.
But tomorrow is the start of the rest of my life. I'm giving up so much. My friends, my very best friend. My whole life as it was has changed. The more I think about existing here like this, the more that a change appeals to me. There's really nothing but reminders of a life I can never get back here. I know my foster-mom will love having me there and she'll love doting on the baby. I can't go anywhere else and start new. I need to rebuild myself. Above all else, I need to fade away and not have anyone come looking, so not even a sniff of me being pregnant can get out. I'm quite sure everyone here will be glad to say goodbye to all the drama I've brought lately.
None more than Lisa. I've constantly asked her about the night Jayden and I slept together two months ago. She was there, so was Lance, but they swear they can't remember anything. I may never find out who drugged Jayden that night or why. But I'm prepared to let it go for the sake of the baby. Jayden and I are divorced and he is getting married to Ashlyn. That's all the information I need right now.
I've never been so unsure about anything, but I'm not afraid to do it.