Chapter 35 The Truth Of Arden
Lana's POV
My dad and I walked into the campus building, all the way to the admin department block, where we had the hearing yesterday. I never spoke to my dad after leaving my apartment. If I had just opened my mouth, then I would've cried. I am still trying to keep it together. I have to.
When we rounded the corner to go to the boardroom where we were in yesterday, Arden's eyes met mine as he stood outside of the boardroom in his black suit and his hand was in his pocket, he was talking to his colleague again. Professor Manis. He was a short man, but they seemed more like friends. He looked at Professor Manis again as he spoke.
"It is best if we keep our distance," my dad advised. He was used to attending these things seemed that he was on the educational board around the world. He knows everything about what could happen and what to do, even what not to do in this situation. The other members of the board came from the opposite direction.
My dad and I were the last to enter the boardroom, Arden was sitting in the same seat as yesterday and I sat down on mine. He just didn't look at me. At least I know that he will come over to my apartment after this outcome.
"Professor Moses and Miss Stern," the older man said. My hands were in my lap but I felt like I was holding this huge breath. "We have come to our conclusion. Professor Moses, the board and I have decided to terminate your job as Professor at NYC Stern effective immediately," my heart sank and I looked at Arden, his hands were clasped together, resting on the table. His expression was hard and of pure sadness. "Miss Stern," I looked at the old man. "We have decided to give you another chance," he said.
I looked at my dad, he was looking at the table in front of him. It felt as if I would break down from trying to keep it together. "Is there a way of getting Professor Moses his job back? I will transfer to a different university, but don't take away his job," I tried to fight back with a suggestion.
"We have already made our decision, Miss Stern," the old man replied, and my heart sank further. I blinked away the tears that were welling up. "You are dismissed," I remained seated, just taking in what was said as the rest were leaving the room.
"Lana," my dad crouched beside me. I turned to see if Arden was still sitting there but he was gone, it was just my dad and I. I needed to see Arden. I looked at my dad but he looked concerned.
"Were you in on this too?" I asked.
He looked down. "I had no choice," he looked up at me sympathetically. "The rest of the board decided. I couldn't give my answer because I'm your father. If I wasn't your father, then I could've made a decision. What they decide is final," he said, softly.
I got up from the chair, I wanted to get to my apartment so that I would be there before Arden showed up. I walked out and I saw Arden taking a little baby from a woman. She was blonde and pretty. She looked as if she had love oozing from her as she made sure that the baby's little top was now pulled down as Arden held the baby gently in his arms. I was glued to my spot.
His attention was so intently on the baby, I felt my dad standing beside me as I looked on. Professor Manis went over to them and spoke. The woman was smiling. It seemed as if Arden had completely forgotten about me. "I told you that he has a wife. That is her and that is their baby. The baby is two months old. When I asked him to join this university, they did have problems in their marriage. He was unhappy, but then the next thing I knew was that his wife had recently given birth. I haven't really spoken to him since I asked him to join.
It was like I was going to be sick. He had a wife while he f^cked me. I hurried out of there, without looking back. I was shattered, he had a baby and he told me that he didn't want kids. Why was he living alone?
I got inside of the car and my dad took me to my apartment before he left for the hotel, but I was a zombie. I tried to keep it all together because I didn't want to cry. Taking a deep breath, I took my car keys and some cash, I went to the pharmacy. I needed to know for sure that what my dad had said could be wrong with me was true, because when I think about it, I cannot remember when I last took my birth control pills. Arden and I had been going at it like rabbits.
I hope that I am not pregnant. I am way too young and I am not ready to be a mother. I went to the pharmacy and I bought three pregnancy tests. My hands were trembling, I was not ready.
I got back to my apartment but then Arden was leaning against his car as he waited for me while he was scrolling through his phone. "How are you holding up?" he asked as I unlocked the door with trembling hands, the brown paper bag of three pregnancy tests in one hand.
"I don't know," I said in a clipped tone. I was not going to breakdown until I knew what was going on in his life. We entered my apartment and then I placed the brown bag in my bathroom vanity cabinet drawer. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was someone that looked like the life had been sucked out of her.
" I'm sorry about all of this, I saw that you left in a hurry," he said, taking in a deep breath as I looked at him. He was standing in the bathroom doorway.
"Was that your wife and baby?" I asked, getting straight to the point.
"My ex-wife and yes, that is my baby," he said with sad eyes. I couldn't give a f^ck about that now. "My two-month-old son, his name is Charl." he said.
"Why the hell would you keep this away from me? When I asked about babies, you kept that away from me, you chose not to tell me," I hissed at him.
"My divorce was finalized before she gave birth, before you and I met. Our marriage was over a long time ago. She was depressed and she pushed me away the more I tried to be there for her. She was a sweet and brilliant wife and something in her changed and you know why? She miscarried the previous year and she took it hard. I wanted to become a father and she wanted to become a mother so badly. She kept on pushing me away but I still stayed by her side, we would have s^x and that didn't help. I lost my wife because of that. It got bad with her that, just before we found out that she was pregnant, I would make her some dinner to eat but she really didn't want to. I would try to encourage her, she would take the plate and throw it against the wall, glass shattered and food everywhere. She ended up burning things that were valuable to me that my grandfather gave me, which were photo albums of our family that were burned, my clothes and anything that she could find. I was teaching that day. I came home and I was barely left with clothes. We found out that she was pregnant and she was more calm. I was happy that we were going to have a baby, but we were still not happy. We decided to file for divorce. I had already moved out because I couldn't live there. I bought my apartment, she gave birth and I was there to support her through the whole process." he took in a deep breath, but I was not happy in this moment.
"I'm all ears," I said so that he could continue as I folded my arms under my breasts. He looked at me still with sadness.
"She wouldn't allow me to see him that much, she would come over when it suited her so that I could see Charl. That is what hurts me. She was keeping him away from me and she knew what she was doing. I have decided not to have anymore kids because of this. I don't want anymore kids and that is my reason, so now you know. She gave me an ultimatum when we got back from Maui: either I move back to the house or I won't see my son again. When I told you that I have a battle that I am fighting to win, it was to do with my son. I have court dates coming up because I want half the custody of my son. I would do anything for him," he held my gaze, his eyes darkened.
I swallowed, "You should've told me from the beginning." I shook my head. "Your son needs you, I don't want to see you right now," I said.
"Lana-"
"No, please leave, I don't want to see you ever again. You can't even talk to me when I ask about something that was so important. What happened if I fell pregnant? Would you still have felt the same about not wanting kids anymore?" I asked as tears blurred my vision.
"There is no baby with you, you are not pregnant. Stop asking these things as if you wish to be pregnant. I am serious when I say that I do not want any kids with anyone for that matter. I don't want to be a father again. After what has happened in my marriage and with my son to this day, I don't want to go through the same thing and be trapped with another baby. So no...even while we are dating and one day get married, there will be no baby whether you want one or not," his jaw clenched.
"I don't think that there will ever be a marriage between us," I said.
"You're breaking up with me," he stated.
"It is far too late now, you had the chance to talk. Please go and be with your son. He needs both of his parents. Don't bother to come back here, don't bother to call me or text me. So, please leave," he looked shattered.
"Just remember this one thing...I love you," he said, tears welling up in his eyes. "I have already lost more things in my life. A wife, then a son whom I am fighting for, my job and now my girlfriend, who has made my life brighter and happier. I love you, Lana," with that he left and the tears just ran down my cheeks.
I clutched at the basin as I will myself to take deep breaths as I sobbed and it just wouldn't stop. I was hurting, I was shattered. I wasn't expecting this from him. I am broken, split in half. I loved him.
As I controlled my sobs, I splashed water on my face and I damped my face dry with a towel. I took the pregnancy tests out of the drawer. As I took them out of the brown paper bag, I took in a deep breath before I sat on the toilet pot and peed on them. Please, be negative, please, be negative.
When I was done, I placed it on the vanity cabinet...waiting. I was numb of my emotions and all the hurt that just happened. I felt light-headed too.
I eventually looked at all three of the pregnancy tests and all three of them were positive. Tears ran down my cheeks and I walked out of the bathroom. I can't be a mother. I can't do this. My baby's father doesn't want this, so I'm all alone. I sat on my bed and I dialed my dad's number.
"Lana?" my dad answered.
"Dad..." I said between a sob, "Please take me back home with you to Seattle. I can't be here anymore."