Chapter 109 - A Truth - Feds
Verónica
"I invite you to devour a box of ice cream," I declared. "Rata called me and said you should have two bodyguards stuck to you like glue, and I agree with him. I'm not letting go of your hand, I don't care if the world thinks you're my girlfriend, and I'll tell you straight, if you need to go to the bathroom, I'm coming with you." I rolled my eyes at her.
"You brought this on yourself, look." She showed me some handcuffs. "From now on, until I trust you again, I'll handcuff you to me every time you go to the bathroom. We're going to a mall, just in case you get any ideas."
She made the comment as we got into the car. Churrusco left on one of the motorcycles and Gustavo sat in the passenger seat.
"Don't you dare, Raúl. I know you're capable, but for your own sake, don't even think about it."
"It's good to have you threatened."
I stuck out my tongue, and my gesture made the men with us laugh. I looked at them; it was strange to see them smile outside the house.
"Where to, ma'am?" I looked at Cereza.
"Any mall, we're going to stuff ourselves with ice cream," Raúl replied.
We sat down to eat the biggest ice cream we could order. My companions sat around us at two tables, giving us some privacy, but I wasn't used to being watched. We had a lot to talk about.
"Now, you ungrateful thing, you fought with your boyfriend, not with me," she said, making a face.
"Vero, I don't even know why I get mad when he was always clear with me. It's true, I threw an immature tantrum, but I really fell in love with him. I wanted to make him fall for me, so I pretended we were happy. Think about it, did you ever see him being sweet with me? He was just attentive. I think I told you once that because of his work, we didn't see each other much, and that was the truth."
"Can I know what happened?"
"His patience ran out because of a comment I made. He always told me he was bisexual, though it was a bit odd." She looked at me. "Do you mind if I get a bit explicit?"
I blushed. I accepted who he was and adored him, but we had never talked explicitly. The problem was that I wanted to help Miguel, and to do that, I needed to know a bit about Raúl's side of the story.
"Leave out the nickname and the name. He's been very private about that, and I don't want to reveal anything. It's his wish to continue receiving respect from the people around him."
"That was the problem. I wanted to tell everyone something we weren't, and he always told me to forget about it. He asked me many times to leave him alone, but I didn't listen. That's why he got really mad. He even confessed his 'condition' to his boss," she made air quotes, "because he knew you already knew and didn't want to lose the trust he had gained. So he got ahead of it. But I forced him to say something he wasn't."
"That's respectable, Flaco, but I still don't understand."
I took a huge spoonful of ice cream while the bodyguards drank cappuccino.
"He never talked about his demons. He only mentioned them twice. He never allowed me to penetrate him, touch him, or give him oral."
Even though my mouth was cold from the ice cream, I felt my face heat up and turn red, my pulse quickening with embarrassment just imagining that situation. My phone rang, and it was Simón.
"Hello."
"Are you okay?" Another call came in, and I saw it was Cebolla. "I'm just talking to Raúl, my pulse spiked for a few reasons. Miguel is calling, I'll see you tonight, Simón."
The other call ended. I saw Gustavo talking while looking at me, and I shrugged. The phone rang again a second after I hung up.
"I'm fine, don't call every time my pulse spikes."
"Understand us."
I sighed. I wanted to yell at them, but if I put myself in their shoes, I would do the same. I had tried to kill myself twice.
"I do, now I'll continue my chat." Raúl smiled, touched my rings, and I nodded, hanging up the call. "Go on, even if I turn all shades of red, get it off your chest."
"He never kissed or touched me, nor did he let me do it. You know what I mean, it was only penetration from him, and with a lot of force, a lot of anger. It hurt me, then he locked himself in the bathroom for a long time, and then he left. After that, I was in a really bad place."
"While he was trying to have something with me, he also had his women and frequented several others. A couple of times I saw him kissing them and entering the houses of those old ladies." I frowned. "I followed him."
"I imagined something different, and they didn't have a good relationship." He shook his head several times. "I'm sorry, Skinny."
"Don't be sorry, although for now, I don't want to see him. It's not because we ended badly; we were never anything. It's just that his words were so harsh. He gets angry when people fall in love with him. He must have a problem with receiving affection, except for Roland and Rat. To him, they're his brothers, Inés is like his mother. He also cares for more of their friends and admires you as if you were a saint, my friend."
"Don't say nonsense."
"It's not nonsense. You bring light, sweetheart. You're that good part of the people around you. Even an angel appeared to Roland because of you. You're special. The fact that they approached the church has caused him a lot of dissatisfaction and made him think. To be honest, long before your wedding, we hadn't been intimate. Although I've never been with anyone, I was only the receiver of his... well, you know, a couple of times. The third time, he couldn't even get it up; he was rather disgusted." My pulse quickened again.
"Not even that time, when we got drunk with Roland, did he let me touch him. He doesn't like men. He must have some trauma that surfaces and tears apart... well, you know, because he left me in the worst way. I couldn't sit for days, and going to the bathroom was traumatic."
"Don't be so explicit! Please."
I pleaded, and my friend laughed when he saw my face. He received a call; it was someone named Camilo.
"Friend, I got a great job this week. I'll be on a trial period for a couple of months, and if I pass, I'll be traveling around the world."
"I'm happy for you."
"Now, I'm all ears. Tell me, what crossed your mind and how are you coping with the absence?"
No matter how hard I tried to be strong, it was impossible. My mood dropped, the tears came again, and when I looked at Raúl, that unconditional look confirmed my foolishness for attempting to take my life, forgetting about the people for whom I am important. The hardest part will be forgiving myself. I had so many people by my side showing me how valuable I was, and I only thought about my pain. The hours passed, and he just listened to me, wiped my tears, and my pulse quickened several times.
When we finished talking, I felt so much better. This was part of my self-therapy, accepting that he would no longer hug or kiss me because he wouldn't be by my side. We were heading back to the parking lot when I saw Simón and Miguel. Seeing them, I ran like a child and jumped to hug them both at the same time, hanging between them like a five-year-old girl.
"You were part of the love of my life. I love you. Thank you for staying by my side."
I kissed each of them on the cheek, aware that Cebolla swallowed hard and Simón's color changed a bit.
"Everything's been quiet, boss."
Arnold spoke, and Cebolla made them feel like they didn't do their job well. He kept calling them all the time.
"I know, it's just that the pulse was intermittent, and I decided to come. I met Cebolla in the parking lot."
Simón shook Raúl's hand, and then Miguel did the same. These two men had become a kind of pillar for me. I didn't feel any attraction to them; it wasn't that. It was as if the pain from Roland's absence was minimized a bit when I was with them. And by taking care of me in my darkest moment, a fraternal loyalty, a brotherhood, had formed between us. I could live far from my father and brother, but from these two gentlemen, I couldn't at this moment. Not for now. They were the only tangible connection to the memory of my husband. It felt like he was traveling and had left me in the care of his brothers.
"Well, I'll say goodbye to you." Raúl said.
"When will you visit me?"
"Now I can only do weekends." I confirmed. "I hope we can go dancing soon." I shook my head with a slight smile.
"Not for now."
"Vero, save the black for a sexy dress and a party." I gave him a sharp look. "Mourning is in the soul."
"Well, my soul is black..."