“You are disgusting” the words rang in my head over and over again as I remembered his face
He wasn’t wrong though, I was definitely the most disgusting person, leading him on that way.
My mind went back to the tears i saw him holding back. The hate that filled up his eyes.....
I did not think someone could hold so much resentment for another, especially when few moments ago, he looked like I was his world.
i sighed, drowning myself in more liquor than the blood that filled my body.
“you are evil.
You do not deserve love.” The words he spat my way were just flooding my mind with no pause button but I did not mind it. I was not going to shove them down, the thoughts. I deserved to be called those words.
“disgusting” I downed a glass
“evil” another shot
Then another
And another.
*
It was past midnight by the time I stumbled out of the club, heels clacking unevenly on the pavement. My head was buzzing from the loud music, the alcohol, and the flashing neon lights that still seem to dance behind my eyelids. I had lost count of how many glasses I had downed.
I laugh to myself, the sound rough and too loud, but the cool night air is sobering enough to keep me upright.
I should’ve dressed warmer, but I wasn’t exactly planning on thinking things through tonight. I was just trying to escape my thoughts.
I don’t know why I went out. Maybe I thought I’d forget for a few hours—forget him, forget everything—but it didn’t work.
I broke him.
I broke the only gut that ever truly loved me and ....
‘there is no use fighting this feeling, i deserved to feel this and worse’ I told myself as I almost got hit by an oncoming vehicle from stumbling on my feet.
I slipped my phone out of my pocket as I reach the corner, my thumb tracing over the smudged screen.
I should call a cab. Or Kellan. He’d come get me in a heartbeat, no questions asked. “No, that isn’t right” I told myself even as I found myself dialling his number.
First ring
Second
Third
Four rings.
Five.
My heart is in my mouth now, “he really did block me” I muttered to myself as I started to pull the phone away from my ear.
“Hello?” His voice is groggy, thick with sleep, causing me to snap my phone back to my ear in an instant.
“Hello?” He called again, background noise sounding through the phone before it got silent again.
“Hey,” I say, my voice coming out small, almost a whisper. “It’s me.”
There’s a pause on the other end, a heavy silence. I can hear him breathing,
“Valerie?” he finally says, and my name on his lips sends a shiver down my spine.
“Yeah,” I reply, trying to steady myself, trying not to let my voice break. “this is pathetic. I feel guilty for breaking up and here you are, sleeping like some fucking sleeping beauty.!” I snapped, wiping the tears violently off my face.
“are you drunk?,” he says, and I can hear him shifting, the rustle of sheets, the creak of a mattress, everything! But more importantly, the way his voice made me feel right now...
“why!” my voice broke a bit. “Your voice sounds exactly like his right now, why could your voice not sound like his own before I broke up with you? Maybe then I would have just closed my eyes and imagined him talking.” I sighed. Wiping off my tears. “he looks good you know, the first time I saw him, I wanted to jump him. Well not jump him per se” I giggled to myself.
I was definitely wasted.
“do you think I am fucked up? He is my mum’s fiancé and all I can think of doing is biting those perfectly sculpted nipples that peek out from those very fitted shirts he wears.
ITS ALL HIS FAULT!! He has this perfect eyes that makes me want to just... AHhHHH” I yelled, causing a few people on the street to look at me.
Another silence, this one longer, more weighted but I could not stop myself. I was finally letting it all out, behind a phone yes. It was cowardly but this was the only way I could do it.
“You are an arsehole you know. I might not have loved you but you were starting to grow on me. You should have fought harder when I said we should end it! Are you not going to say anything??? You just...”
I tripped over a bottle that was on the floor, causing me to fall right into the pile of trash that laid on that side of the road. Although the phone was still in my death grip
“Valerie!” there was a pause for a moment, only his breathing was what I listened to before he continued “whatever you do, stay where you are! And don’t you fucking move” he growled. “your location is on so I would get to you soon” he said ending the call.
“You fucker! Ending the call on me before I can even tell you what I called you for!” I gritted my teeth, trying to retail his number but I could not. I was loosing consciousness fast. “Ahh, sleeping in roadside trash, this is definitely getting into my bucket list” my sorts were getting more and more slurred by the moment.
My mind decided it was time to take aa pause from reality, so I blacked out, not even being able to fight it or bothering to.
...
I woke up to hands touching me inappropriately, the hands were cold and wrong.
They did not feel like his, Hades.
I needed more to drink. Even in my Hazed state. The only thing I could think of was how my skin burned when he touched me that one time.
“Must be my lucky night.” His voice sounded shrivelled. I opened my eyes to see a bald looking man a with his two up teeth missing as he smiled wildly at me.
“Don’t worry love, I would be quick” he said, panic ran through my body as I saw the nightmare in front of me.
I was spent , my whole body was too weak to move and his hands were not stopping as they seemed to reach higher and higher
“I will kill you”....