Chapter 19

Marcella

I snapped upright as soon as I heard the door opening and felt relief seeing it was Killian. He did not look at me or stop and went straight to the bathroom.

I heard the shower running and quietly stepped down off the bed. I had this weird need to go see him. I stood out of the bathroom door and slowly turned down the handle.

Killian was standing under the shower buck naked with his hands on the wall and his head down. He looked completely tired and it was not a look I have seen on him. Decision made, I quietly removed my clothes and moved to stand behind him. The water was ice cold and I had to steel myself as I wrapped myself around his waist from behind.

“What?” Killian jumped as soon as he felt my arms. And that was concerning. He was more intune to his surroundings than anyone.

"Killian, it's me," I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "Are you alright?"

He didn't respond immediately, his body tense against mine. I could feel the tension radiating from him, a stark contrast to the ice of the water cascading over us.

“I'm just... I'm not myself today." His words was whispered.

His words sent a shiver down my spine, and I tightened my embrace, offering what little comfort I could.

"It's okay," I whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his shoulder. "You don't have to explain if you don't want to. Just know that I'm here for you, no matter what."

Killian leaned back into my embrace, his body finally relaxing against mine. For a moment, we stood there in silence, the only sound the steady rhythm of the water falling around us.

He slowly turned around and and his eyes turned dark as he moved them over me. My own breathing turned heavy looking at his sinful eye. How can it be so warm and sinister at the same time. I still wasn't able to contemplate when everything changed with us. But there was no going back. He was a man hell bent on saving me .

“I need you mia belleza.” he whispered again.

“I need you too Killian.” He was on me before I could complete the words.

Our kiss was fierce and passionate, fueled by the raw intensity of the moment. The water continued to cascade over us, its chill forgotten amidst the heat of our desire. I lost myself in the sensation of Killian's lips against mine, his hands exploring every inch of my body with a hunger that left me breathless.

I felt his hands at the back of my thighs and I immediately jumped to wrap them around his waist. He did not waste any time as he slammed my back against the shower wall and thrust into me in a single move.

“Killian!” My scream was muffled by his mouth again as he started moving inside me harder than ever before. I felt a sense of urgency building within me, a need to be closer to him, to merge our souls as completely as our bodies were now entwined.

As the water continued to pour down around us, I surrendered myself completely to the moment, to the man who had stolen my heart and claimed it as his own. In my heart of heart, I knew I had fallen for my husband. I just hope he felt the same way by the end of this war.

_________

We both were now in bed hours later. Killian took me way too many times for me to count on every furniture and spot in our room.

“Don't you dare touch me Killian. I’m dead.” I felt more than heard his laughter as I laid on my back on the bed and Killian moved on his side to wrap his arms around me.

“Fine. I’ll let you be. But soon, I'm taking you to our honeymoon and no amount of begging is going to stop me from ravishing you again and again.” he said as he placed small kisses on his cheek, jaw and all the way down to my neck.

“Tell me something about yourself.” I whispered to him as my breathing hardened from his small kisses. This man just had to look at me to fire me up.

“What would you like to know?”

“Anything. Something no one knows.” My request was met with utter silence for a few moments and I felt I crossed some invisible line. I felt myself tensing as silence expanded each passing second.

“You don't have to, you know. I just felt like we were going ahead together.” I could feel burning behind my eyes and starting to blink rapidly to make sure the tears dont fall.

But nothing is missing him. I felt his fingers by the corner of my eyes and he gently turned me to my side so we were face to face. “I don't know how to share myself with someone.” I closed my eyes knowing we have come to a stop with any discussion we could have had.

I would never force him to share about himself forcefully when he doesn't want to.

I felt him move closer and wrap both arms around. “But I would like to try amore. Only with you.” my eyes snapped open and widened at his words.

His mouth lifted in a smirk at my reaction. “It is only fair considering I know everything about you.”

“You don't know everything about me. It's impossible.” I scoffed at his claim.

“I do. Like I know your favorite color is lavender. You like to have something to eat and drink whenever you are watching a movie or your favorite show. How you always cut your hair when you are bored or depressed.”

My eyes widened comically at the last part. There was no way for him to know that. He laughed at my reaction again. “I know how much you love your bakery and Lexi, your employee. Almost as much as a sister. And I know how much you love your own sister. Even though she fucked your ex and even though she is responsible for you being held captive here. Even though you had to be forced to marry a brute like me.”

I looked at him as he finished that and something close to hurt flashed in his eyes. I wanted to tell him I was falling for him but I didn't. I wasn't sure of my own feelings at this point. “I’m starting to feel glad about the last part.” My voice was barely audible but I knew he heard me. It wasn't a confession but they weren't just words as well and I knew Killian felt the same way when he tensed. He heard them and understood the significance of those words.

Silence again surrounded us but neither of us moved to break it. I cuddled closely to his chest and was just about to fall asleep when he spoke the words that came from the bottom of his dark soul. “I was raped when i was ten.” My entire body turned to stone at his words But he didn't stop. “Well i dont know if rape is the correct word but I think this would fall in the category. I was about two months away from turning ten when I was moved to a house where I met Jonah and Dom. Dom was a sweet boy, always laughing and playing when I met him. Jonah was one of the serious ones but he would too come play with Dom when insisted. Dom would usually try to include me but I resented that. I didn't want to play or have fun knowing I would soon be moved again.”

I kept listening to him. “But after a few weeks, Dom and Jonah started to grow on me. I started to hang out with them and started to finally enjoy my days with them. But suddenly a month before my birthday, I noticed Dom pulling away from us. His laughter disappeared each passing day, his jokes lessened. If it was Jonah I would not have noticed that much but it was Dom. The happy kid. His change confused both Jonah and me. But we ignore it thinking he might not be well. When we asked him, he just shook his head and left. The couple we were living with were good. The woman was very warm and sweet and the man only used to be home after work and stay in his office until bedtime. So it was just us three most of the day.”

I was starting to feel bad about Dom even before knowing what happened. It was the context where Killian was going with this story that I was not prepared with. “It was the day of my birthday when Nancy, our foster mother, made a big cake and had banners and balloons. That day Dom was back to his normal self. Laughing, playing and both Jonah and I were relieved about that. That night I could not sleep. It was around two in the morning when I went to drink some water. I saw Gary's office door open slightly. So I moved to see if anyone was there so I could turn off the light if it was empty. I saw Dom sitting on the table completely naked and Gary was standing in front of him, abusing him.” I gasped at that. Their own foster dad. Fuck.

“I rushed inside and pushed Gary away and I wrapped myself around Dom but he fainted. So I carried him to my room and locked the door. I fully planned to tell Nancy what happened the next morning. Jonah was still in their room sleeping and I was so confused about what to do.”

“How old was Dom?”

“He was five.” a tear rolled down my cheek at his answer. “The next morning, when Dom woke up, he told me how it started a month ago and what all he did. I left to tell Nancy but she wasn't there. But Gary was. He took me in the room and told me that Nancy wont do anything as she knew too and He was willing to let Dom go if I took his place. I was scared that he would go after Dom again or even Jonah so I agree, It continued for a year. And the day I snapped was when he bought his friends as well. Nancy had taken Dom and Jonah out for shopping when Gary came home with his two friends. After they were done with me and left. I went to the kitchen, took a knife and stood behind Gary where the fucker was drinking his beer and slit his throat. I don't know how long after he died I sat there and Nancy and the twins found me sitting next to Gary's body. When I looked at Nancy. I knew she knew. She cried and cried but I felt nothing for her. I immediately took Dom and Jonah and left their house and we stayed on the streets for so long. That was the worst year of my life.”

I moved on top of him and straddled his hips. And laid down on his chest and just cried. My mind stopped working and I had no other question. I knew we were both exhausted after this session. I lifted my head and moved to his scar at his temple knowing there was another story that awaited with that scar. I placed a long kiss on his lips and vowed to myself that this man right here was it for me. Even if we didn't end up together. I was totally and wholeheartedly his.