45- And Death Was A Kiss

45- And Death Was A Kiss
"Come forward child!" Osiris boomed. Then Bast was before them. Osiris outstretched his arm, "My offering for a strong union. A good pairing, I believe." An opposition to Aisha. A challenge. A replacement. Bast was to be Osiris's choice for his grandson. The sound seemed to filter back into her ears again. She hated that it made sense to her. Imset was a god that had known hundreds like her before. A god that had spent years and years and years, too many years, killing the good and the bad. Killing his own consorts. Of course she was supposed to be different but did it matter? His brothers had all taken human women as wives but they were not set to rule the underworld. Surely, she wouldn't be ideal to rule beside him? A twenty-two year old human with no family and chronic depression...

"And as he already has a consort we must be fair, for fate has chosen her," Osiris smiled like a snake, everything but a forked tongue wagging at her, "Or shall I say, my son chose her. We will let her attempt to pass the final test as Ra has written it. And as is custom, Imsety shall not be allowed to intervene."

Horus. Horus had sent her a son. That was the original plea. And though Imset had said it a time or two, it had never sunk in. Horus had forced him to take her bond. Practically selected her for his son. Chosen her. Why?

"The final test," Anubis whispered so close to her neck his lips nearly touched her, "Is to show mercy. To the last on your list of retribution. You must show mercy." Mercy. Mercy. Mercy. The word clanged in her head like a bell. Aiko's words welling back up inside her. She hated it. Rejected it. Where had her mercy been on the library floor? Where had Aiko's when they drugged and raped her? When someone mudered her...

The sound of gasping and yelling came again as Evan was dragged forward by Tai. She smelled the urine on his legs before she saw the staining, her stomach reeling in a new, more horrible way that it already was. Her mind slanted to the left, then the right. No. It wasn't her mind but her body. Though even though her swaying, Thoth held firm on her wrist. Her stomach sloshed, all her reason disappeared. She was drunk. But also spiraling out of control. Evan was a trigger for her. Just like Aiko. His presence sent her emotions all over the place.

Aisha knew it and she welcomed the feeling of rage that rose up in her as she met Evan's eyes.

Rage. Not mercy, never mercy. His lips were quivered, eyes wild and filled with terror. He mumbled to himself as he was shoved to his knees. Sharpness pierced through her intoxication. Purpose. Retribution. He wasn't mumbling, Aisha realized, but begging.

She stepped from behind Thoth, her eyes turning fierce, her pulse even but throbbing. Tai cocked his head, regarding her from across the room as if in mocking come on little human, will you fight?

"P-pl-please, g-g-god p-please, I d-didn't- I-it was-wasn't my i-idea, I-I-" Imset's knife crashed down beside Evan, as if his grip had slipped for a moment. Worry. He was worried because he knew she'd fail. He always knew she'd fail, in his heart. And he could not intervene.

"Shut up," Aisha swore, her voice barely above a whisper and yet, so vengeful it nearly knocked him over. Even Imset's eyes widened. Relief? Was it relief? Or hope? Or some other emotion she couldn't make sense of?  She couldn't focus on him right now. Or the way Tai watched her with intrigue. Or Osiris' wicked smirk. Not Bast tapping her long fingers impatiently against her folded arms. Or Imset's siblings who looked pained and hopeful and scared all at once.

All she could make sense of was the crushing sense that she was going to die tonight... because she could not spare him. She could not look at Evan and see mercy. And that was fine. Her life was forfeit. It always had been. Imset had distracted her, made her want to live, after making her want to die, but she remembered now, what she already knew: she would not survive and if her soul were destined to be eaten by Ammit, at least she would send all of them there first. She could do that, for Aiko, for her sister. 

Thoth released her wrist as a jackal-headed god stepped into view beside her. Anubis... In his divine form. His face was horrible: long and full of dripping, sharp teeth. Horrible and yet, beautiful in its terror. Divine and full of power. He reeked of it--of dirt and death and things of old, his sigiled cuffs flaring. He sniffed the air, long ears twitching as he turned his gaze upon her.

His wary eyes surveyed Aisha carefully, sniffing at the air as he snapped his long, agile fingers. And then a shadowy form appeared beside him. Aisha's heart stopped and on instinct she snapped her head away. The living cannot look upon the dead. He had not warned her this time. Was that what Osiris hoped? That she would be unable to look away? That she would be too wound up and emotional...

"Aisha?" the whisper of sound was so faint, she strained to hear it. She didn't even feel the tears slipping down her face. A wounded animal sounded, it's echo reverberated through the room. Something like agony and terror clawing that sound forth, something dying. Aisha forced herself to look at anything else. Not Aiko. Not Evan.

She found her gaze locked with Tai's, his eyes softening. Have mercy.

"Was it Evan that drugged you?" Aisha asked, her voice like broken glass.

"Knowing the answer will not change my fate."

Aisha felt ill. She was going to vomint all over this floor. That sound again. And yet no animal appeared. Aisha's eyes closed, "Did he kill you?"

Silence.

"You have to forgive him," Aiko whispered as Aisha drew closer to Evan until she stood only a few steps away. Evan was still begging, bleating, sobbing on his knees. He had never stopped talking but Aisha had tuned him out. He had been for some time but her mind couldn't register it, couldn't give him even a moment of her attention once Aiko appeared.

Mercy. She couldn't. She didn't have any.

"You can. You are good, Aisha," Aiko answered as if Aisha had said those things aloud. Maybe she had. "You are my sister, my friend, I miss you. If you cannot forgive him, we'll never see each other again," her voice broke off a sob. It crushed Aisha, threatened to bring her to her knees. Crushed her so thoroughly she considered it. Could she spare him? If it meant she'd see Aiko again? If it meant, she'd get to live--to walk away from this room without being slit from ear to ear? Could she? If it meant she'd see Aiko walking in that field of reeds?

Her decision was so cloudy. If he did not kill her, his father did. Zach had no reason to lie as he watched his friends die around him. Imset had seen his words were true.

"You can," again Aiko whispered, "You are sweet and you are good. You are the best person I know."

No... Slowly Aisha regarded the strangeness of those words. Aiko never thought that about her. Because she wasn't those things. She was moody and bitter, a fact that they had talked about countless times. It didn't make sense for her to feel that way now. And the more she thought about it, it was strange for her to ask Aisha to have mercy. She knew her better than that. She understood how dark Aisha was. How hard it was for her to end a grudge. She accepted that...

"You can drop the illusion, Anubis," Aisha whispered, her heart sinking. Had any of it been real? Was Aiko even dead? For an instant, her hope soared before she realized the only way Anubis could know how to create a perfect illusion, was if he had seen the soul firsthand. So... Aiko was dead. But she wasn't here. And she likely never had been. Aisha blinked her tears away.

"W-what?" Anubis' face had gone back to a mortal one, his eyes unsure and glossy.

Aisha didn't answer, turning slowly to look dead in Aiko's eyes. Imset gasped. But nothing happened. And now that she could look, she realized the eyes weren't quite right. Not the right shade of green, not the proper brightness. It solidified everything she already knew. Osiris was playing yet another game with her emotions. She flicked her eyes back to Osiris, happy to see his smirk had faded to a clenched jaw.

So she couldn't trust Anubis' advice about the test. And she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. Slipping out of her heels, one by one, she stepped up until she was right in front of Evan. Aisha collapsed to her knees before Evan. She didn't know what she was expected to do... what she even wanted to do.

Aisha then became aware of how silent the room was, no breathing or fidgeting to be heard. Imset stood rigid as ice, eyes hardened in a silent plea she couldn't read. Everyone was waiting for her choice. What would it be? Pass or fail? Kill or be killed? Mercy or wrath? Or some third option she hadn't even thought of...

"P-pl-please I-I w-want-t to l-liv-ve," Evan wept, bending his neck so far forward he seemed like it would break. Aisha stilled. Because we hurt together. Aiko's words. Her last day alive they hadn't hurt together. She had hurt alone. She had died, without anyone who loved her, alone. She'd wanted to live too. She'd wanted to see Japan and China, take a tour of the Eiffel tower, meet a Billie Eilish, skydive, jetski, get a bikini wax, have a threesome, fall in love, get married. She wanted to live, she wanted her life. And it hadn't mattered.

Silence crashed around her. That's all she'd had most of her life until Aiko. Silence. And it was all she had now. The mighty absence of sound. That hollow, aching point in her life, in her chest, in the world. How could she fear dying? How could she fear anything, when that silence had seized it all in a vacuum?

"I forgive you," Aisha whispered, then in a flash she picked up the dagger beside Evan's body and slit her own palm. Magic and emotion and intention. She offered her blood to Ammit. A soul. She offered it with enough rage and devastation to burn the world as she had once told Horus. He did not deserve to be judged. He did not deserve the chance to be found suitable for the reeds. He deserved misery and cruelty. To have drugged and used... Aisha couldn't even bring herself to think it again. She shook Zach's words away.

And then, as the ground beneath them blackened, a vortex of darkness and misery swirling below, Aisha laughed in relief and plunged the dagger into his heart.

It made a sucking sound as she pulled it out. Wet and soft. He did not even scream. The death had been quick and that was unfortunate, but his eternal punishment would be long. Evan slumped forward in a great heave, and clattered against the stone ground. Not a soul moved. Not when the blackening swirl produced a dark haired monstrosity of a woman, dragging the clanging chains of her bindings to the underworld. Not when she sniffed and studied Aisha first, baring her nubbing, broken teeth. Not when she hissed and stuck her hand into Evan's chest, dragging his soul forth.

And then they were gone.

Aisha didn't care. She didn't care about dying or about living or about anything. Her life was forfeit and it had been worth it. To snatch his light, to pay that forward. She closed her eyes and awaited her fate. Her only unresolved issue was that his father lived... And like a blade, it gutted her. The man would live when he deserved to suffer. No. It wasn't fair.

Death was a kiss, it would seem, because suddenly hot softness was against her lips. She opened her eyes to find Imset's mouth on hers, then he shot up to his feet, triumph in his eyes.

He was the kindly one. The fucking savior. Her fucking savior. The god who had come and rescued her. Had wiped away all the people who meant her harm. He'd saved her. He'd also wrecked her. No, she didn't want to think those thoughts. That he'd gutted her several times before putting her back together. That he'd dragged her into oblivion. Back into drugs. That he'd sent her sprawling through darkness. That he promised to protect her only to let her down again and again. No, she wouldn't think of it. She wouldn't consider it. There was an explanation. There was-

"Well, father," Horus boomed across the room, "It would seem my choice was fate's choice in the end, was it not?" Aisha snapped her head up. He was smiling at her. Imset was smiling at her. Osiris' look could have been best described as a promise: a promise of pain.

It all happened so fast, she hardly had time to react. Imset reached out his hand for her but she couldn't move. Pressure built in her head, slamming into her brain. Liquid leaked down her nose. Then the sound of fists flying, bodied being thrown. People gasping and clearing away.

"Release her!" Imset yelled, blurring away from her vision. In an instant, Osiris had tightened the pressure on her head. Her whole existence was about to crack open and leak out onto the floor. Bast lunged for her, fingers wrapping around her throat before being snatched back by Imset's sisters.

Aisha hit the ground hard. Her mind went away. It just got up, and left her paling, unable to move or shift or breathe as she stared at Imset, his hand wrapped around his grandfather's throat, screaming. She saw her heart cracking open. Someone pinned Horus, Imset's brothers were locked in a fight with several other gods. Aisha watched everything in slow motion, unable to comprehend anything outside of the crushing of her brain.

She scanned the crowd, frantic. She had no idea what she was looking for, no idea what she would do to stop this. She couldn't find a single face she knew that wasn't already locked in a fight. Even Imset and Osiris had begun to trade blows as her vision browned out.

In the corner, Tai watched her, his dark eyes shaded in something so angry it felt like teeth on her skin. But she begged him anyway. Not with words but with her eyes, begged him to help her. Laid what was left of her soul bare for him to see. Help. She screamed in her eyes. She saw him falter, saw the twitch of his eye. She couldn't go with him. She couldn't. It repeated like a chant. But she would die if she stayed.

Already this world had wrecked her too many times to count. How many more blows could she endure? Tai slowly cleared the distance, never breaking her gaze.

From across the room, Imset swore and reached for her. She could see Osiris' delighted eyes, his lips quirking a wicked grin. Like he loved when a plan came together. How many plans did he have to have in place for this single course of action, Aisha wondered. One way or another, he would remove the obstacle. His smile had told her that much. His hatred at the dinner. And now, his power squishing her head.

Imset never reached her, only the empty air of where she had been. Only the blood that she had left behind. And the room went cold with the roar that ripped from Imset's chest.

Within a moment, Horus had beaten his attacker and had Osiris pinned by the neck, pressed hard enough against the wall that cracks began to spider away from his body. Osiris was far weaker than he once was, the purpling around his face where Imset had beat him, proof enough. Imset raged across the room.

And Horus knew his father could not take them both. Eyes red, raw power thrumming through his veins as the final transfer from Osiris seeped into him, Imset could taste his anger. This night was not supposed to go this way. Games of seduction and power? Of course, he'd expected those. Hell, he'd even known Bast would likely make an appearance. As bloodthirsty and desperate for a crown as she ever was.

But he had not expected this. He had not thought his grandfather capable of such a thing but Aisha was gone. Imset gritted his teeth. She would have died, if she stayed. Osiris would have seen to it if it was the last thing he did. And yet... Imset hated that Tai had been the one to do it. There was no guarantee he would bring her back and no one knew enough about the war god to track him.

"What did you do?" his voice dripping with lethality.

"Horus, perhaps you could remind your son, of respecting his elders?"

"Unfortunately, I'm inclined to agree with my son," Horus growled, "What did you do, old man?"

“I. Removed. An. Obstacle.” was all Osiris said. Imset sucked in a breath, against the pain in his chest. He rubbed at the area, releasing his grandfather. Aisha. His Aisha was somewhere with Tai. And he didn’t know how to find her.

Horus moved around to brace Imset as he fell to his knees. He hadn’t even known he was swaying. He had not protected her. That shattered him, wrecked him so thoroughly he felt a tear down his cheek. He had been too happy to see her pass the final test. He had not looked for anything wrong. Had trusted his own senses… had trusted that his grandfather understood what she meant to him. But…

“Thoth?!” The rough yell startled Imset but he searched the room for his friend’s face. When he was met with only silence, and the shifting of Osiris to stand from the wall, Imset snapped to his brothers, “Find Thoth.”

Then turning to Horus, “Chain him in Ammit’s pit.” Imset’s hand didn’t shake as he pointed it to Osiris, the man whose face had gone pale and sickly now that Imset had siphoned his power away.

Then Imset was up and moving into the palace towards his father’s office.

“Where are you going?!” Hathor called, catching up with Imset’s determined stride.

“To find my wife.”
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Author's note:

Hey gang, I'll keep this short so you don't pay too much extra. This completes book one of dark desires. I've added about 55k more words so I hope you'll appreciate the extra attention. I have chosen to stop writing chapter to chapter because it only stresses me out, frustrated you and makes the story more choppy. So I'll be posting book 2 under book 1 when it's complete. Unfortunately I can't give a timeline on when that will happen but I'll be working as fast as I can. I hope you'll all understand <3. Please feel free to follow my instagram (@the_unlikelyoptimist) for more information on what I'm writing and where it will be available, or to shoot me a DM and say hi. I'm transferring over to amazon starting December 2021, so look for me there =) I won't be bringing any new stories here. I'm so grateful for all your support and love as I've grown in my ability and confidence to write! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo