41- Even Gods Have Feelings

41- Even Gods Have Feelings
"Come again?" logically Aisha understood the words he said. Knew what he'd said made total sense and it wasn't even the drawer of women that bothered her. It was the number of them. The sheer amount of little representations. Bast's words sank in her. So many women. Aisha was just another name.

How many consorts had the man had? She understood on an intellectual level that he was ancient, a god who had seen several millennia on this earth but, her heart, no, her ego couldn't abide that number of consorts. Surely, with a breadth of experience that wide, her skills in the bedroom, or lack thereof, wouldn't even be worthy of a notation in the margins of his life. It reminded her that the title consort could be just as temporary as it could be permanent.

This was stupid. Aisha understood she was being jealous of people who were dead. Long dead. People who lived in eras she couldn't even comprehend.

And yet, it didn't matter. What they'd done with each other, on two separate occasions now, had been mind-blowing, earth-shattering, fucking cosmic for her. And for him? It was probably just another day. Just another vagina attached to just another woman. She felt a dull ache in her chest that reminded her how little she really was when compared to a god, a god who could have his pick of women. And knowing that, why would he want her? He'd been with a literal goddess. Probably more than one.

Her breathing grew shallow, heartbeat unsteady. Why did everything have to hurt so much?

Imset immediately started rolling the scroll back up just to avoid her strange look, a mix between anger and sadness. It made him uncomfortable and had him on edge. He really didn't feel like arguing, it always made him lose his temper with her and he was desperately trying to be easy with her. He was trying to prove that he wasn't just some angry god who was incapable of being gentle.

He had so much to apologize for. And just like last night, this day was important for earning her trust. For showing Aisha he wouldn't leave her vulnerable again.

She probably thought she couldn't compare to all the years of life he'd lived before. But that was only because she didn't understand how amazing last night had been for him. The nearest competition for the best of his life was their first time together. Both were nearly tied for how intoxicating and addictive she was. But more than that, there was a connection. Some kind of attachment had formed between them and he didn't know what to do about it. There was a silent tether from him to her and it was liable to pull his heart out if it ever snapped.

"You keep pictures of all of them? Oh my god, do you have a picture of ME?!" Aisha yelled pulling him hard to turn around. Her grip and that anger in her eyes were all it took for him to forget his earlier pact with himself about not getting upset.

"No! I don't have a picture of you," he bristled, snatching up the scroll and putting it in its rightful place, "Why would I need a picture of you, you're alive?"

"Well excuse me for assuming since apparently, you keep little keepsakes of all your previous fucks!" She knew she was being unreasonable. Her jealousy, no her insecurities, were getting to her. Aisha had a torrent of emotions flowing through her and she didn't know what to do with it. She actually wanted to yell at him about what really bothered her and yet here she was throwing a tantrum over him having a life before she'd even been born. It was idiotic.

Imset grabbed her hard, completely ignoring all the things he promised himself he wouldn't do. Backing her up to the glass of the bookcase, he growled, "What did you say?"

Aisha felt the heat growing in her stomach, a small fire that radiated through her whole body. This was the god she wanted. Her mind and body were finally in agreement about something. He'd brought her entire apartment here. He said she wasn't going home. His actions were telling her far more than his words ever had. She could believe his actions because they were always clear, always consistent.

"Cat got your tongue, Aisha?" he asked, curling his lips into a wicked grin and he pressed her harder to the glass, careful to keep just the right amount of pressure on her, "I keep a memento of all the consorts who have died. No, I should rephrase that. The ones I have killed. And your photo will not be among them, understand?" He reached a hand up to firmly grip her jaw.

Staring at each other eye to eye.

"Forget everything from the last few days. Say you understand me." He used his hand to nod her head, "You will pass the test."

"I understand. But-"

"But what, Aisha?"

"Why do you want me...to pass? I mean... you've had so many options... You don't have to choose me. I mean you could wait for someone-" She looked away. The pause between her words left a clear impression on Imset. She was confused about them, confused about what he felt towards her, and he needed to make it clearer.

"Better? You think I'd be settling for you?" Imset's eyes set so firmly on hers that Aisha squirmed in place. His hand slid from her jaw up to her hair as he massaged her scalp, "I've made a lot of mistakes with you, I can admit that. Stupid mistakes. What happened at dinner was cruel and even though I agreed to get you riled up, I would've never used Aiko. I genuinely hope you know that. My grandfather and Anubis went too far. I haven't even spoken to either of them since."

He sighed, eyes lowering, "But I have to accept responsibility for the situation as well. I asked him to make you angry because I hoped it would help you pass the final test. It was wrong to manipulate you. I know I've hurt you but worst than that, my actions have told you that you mean nothing to me. Which couldn't be further from the reality."

As speechless as Aisha was, she was overjoyed Imset didn't wait for a reply.

He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips and pulled back again, "I have had many consorts and I understand that it probably doesn't make you feel good but... I have never felt this way about anyone else. I want you to stay with me. I need you to stay with me. Nothing about you is ordinary and I'm positive I could walk this world until it ends and never find anyone else like you. You're mine." The way he stared at her, Aisha almost felt like she could see inside of him to the fragile, scared heart he was offering her. The sincere, forceful look demanded that she take him seriously.

"I'm sorry I haven't shown it enough, but you're everything to me," he said softly.

"That's why you have my soap?" She blurted. Fuck that sounded weird. His eyes twinkled as he took a few steps back, allowing her to breathe freely. She cringed, "Sorry ne-"

"I want you to stay here," his eyes held hers. He was dead serious, "So, I brought your clothes and all your products... and the things you care about." He meant Aiko's belongings.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Which part, Aisha?" he sighed, putting his fingers to his temple. She was beginning to severely damage his calm.

"All of it. Wanting me to stay here... bringing my favorite stuff... I mean, you're not- it's not like you?"

"Did nothing I just said get into your brain at all?!" he snapped before he could stop himself then winced. Asshole might have been a facet of his personality at this point.

"I mean everything to you?" She replied like a robot who didn't really understand its instructions, "So you want me to stay?"

He smiled, "Yes." He made it all sound so simple. Stay. Live here with him and his family in a palace in the old world for fuck's sake. She didn't even really understand what the world was... a time capsule of some sort? A separate realm?

While she worked on her thoughts, he admitted, "It's probably better to just say it now and get it out in the open. I found the drugs in your pocket and destroyed them."

Aisha froze again. What was she supposed to say? He knew about the drugs? How did that make him feel? That he'd helped destabilize her life that much?

What the fuck else did he find in her apartment? Had she taken out the trash? What kinds of dirty clothes had been laying around? Good lord she felt like she was going to throw up. Gods, she hoped he hadn't looked on her computer.

"Where's my computer?" she panicked, ignoring everything else. He cocked his head to the side, confused, "It's in the living room...?"

"Whew, okay. You didn't open it right?" She was actually sweating now, just thinking about the potential embarrassment.

"What? No, although my sisters said they wanted to do something with it. Why are you worried about your laptop anyway? What I just told you doesn't bother you?" Her heart started racing. They would definitely look for porn and if they saw her search history Aisha was pretty sure she might die.

"Which way is the living room? This way or that way?" Aisha had already moved around him to the doorway and was pointing left or right.

"It's right, wait where are you going?" Imset was genuinely at a loss. He'd spent all morning practicing how he would handle her anger once she knew. But she wasn't doing any of the scenarios he'd planned for. Instead she was racing out into the living room, acting as if it didn't matter at all.

She hit the doorway like a moving train. "Where's my laptop?!" She was breathless.

"Oh, Aisha it's so good to see you again!" Serkie jumped up from the couch and embraced her hard.

"I missed you guys too, but my laptop?"

"This one?" Neith smirked, typing away on the very device Aisha was desperately looking for.

"Yes!" She squeaked, climbing over the coffee table towards it but Neith seamlessly lifted herself over the back of the couch to evade her, the smirk growing more defined. She didn't pay any mind to the other men who were watching the amusement from the kitchen.

"What the hell is wrong with you human?!" Imset yelled from the doorway.

"Just wait for it, brother," Mutef laughed.

"Aisha I was trying to show the others all those sites you showed us the other night, but, I found your browser history quite confusing... maybe you could clarify it?"

"Oh my god," Aisha was full-on scrambling now, desperate to snatch that computer away and chuck it in the Nile. They were split on opposite sides of the couch.

"What kind of search is Egyptian + muscles + dreads + zaddy + hardcore... what's a zaddy?" Neith could barely keep her composure as Aisha leaped up and ran the length of the couch.

"Wait there's more... + deep throat + an-"

Aisha finally snatched the computer and smashed it into the hard stone until it was in pieces. Panting heavily, she pushed back a few stray hairs from her braid and painfully dragged her eyes back up to read the room.

Everyone immediately erupted into fitful laughter, Aisha included. Neith snapped her fingers and the laptop appeared on the coffee table. Fully intact.

"Welcome to the family," Nephy gasped between laughs, "Your face... oh gods, that's a classic now!"

"There were easier ways to kill me than embarrassment," Aisha insisted, pulling Neith into a hug, then Nephy, "This is a family of assholes."