Chapter 53 – November 6th

I grabbed my books from the locker and was startled when Amelia greeted me. I look at her with an annoyed look as she plasters me an innocent smile. She grabs my books from my hands and returns them inside my locker.

"What are you doing?" I asked her as she arranges all of my books and notebooks according to my schedule. She memorizes my schedule, but she doesn't memorize hers.

"Didn't you hear? All students are helping to arrange the gym for the homecoming. Apparently, the officers of these schools want us all to participate, or else we won't be able to join the homecoming," She said as I roll my eyes.

"Oh yeah, how was Trevor?" She asks as my heart sinks in. I looked at her without uttering any word. How did she know about Trevor? I didn't even mention Trevor's name to her.

"What?" I said as I laugh sarcastically, sounding a bit scared at the same time, "Ho-how... What? What are you talking about? Trevor who?" I said as I look at her. A look that's begging for answers.

"You know, I sent you a message yesterday. I told you that he was at my house and was looking for you. He told me he needs to tell you something important, and so, being a good best friend of yours, I sent him your address!"

She smiles at me, "Isn't that great? I did something good?" She placed her hands on my shoulders as she starts jumping up and down as I shake my head, wanting to bang my head on the wall.

"What the hell. Why did you do that?" I said as I remove her hands from my shoulders, "You should've told him nothing at all. Like, what kind of person who's going to tell a stranger her friend's address?"

"Well, apparently, he's not a stranger to you. Plus, I know that he's not because he knows your name," She defended herself as I roll my eyes at her and looked at her with an annoyed face.

"Just because he knows my name, it means he's not a total stranger already!" I said as she was startled at what I just said.

"It looks to me that he's not a stranger because it's like you are saying that you know him so well," She said, "And stop being mad for what I did. I just helped you," She added as I take a deep sigh.

"Well, you're not helping," I said as I locked my locker and left the hallway without her. I bumped into someone as the person grabs my wrist. I stopped in my tracks and turned around. The mad version of me was gone and was replaced with a sad version.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Cayden said as he caresses both of my cheeks with his soft hands. I tilt my head, touching his hand on my cheek, closing my eyes. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

I might be crazy at this point. I should be ignoring him right now, but I just can't. Because whatever I do and wherever I go, he's one step closer to me, and every time I avoid him, he keeps on appearing in front of me.

I look at both of my left and right sides, looking a bit paranoid. "I just want to get out of here," I told him as I look into his eyes, and he nods his head. His hand drops as he holds my hand.

"Just tell me where and I'll go wherever you go," He said as I plaster a sad smile on my face. He kisses my forehead as he drags me outside the school.

***

We both got out of his car. I felt the breeze of the last winter caressing my skin as I walked towards the beach. This is where he brought me the first time. The night where he told me about his family and the night, I was supposed to tell him what happened to mine.

"Tell me what's wrong," He said as he grabs my hand as we near the bench. He sat down, and I sat down beside him, watching the waves of the beach.

"Trevor."

"Trevor, the guy who killed your dad and your grandmother?" He asked. I looked at him and nodded my head.

"I thought we did our best hiding from him as much as possible, but he keeps on finding us. Trevor went by at Amelia's house the other day, and Amelia said she texted me that Trevor was looking for me and I don't know..." I said as I hide my face in the palm of my hands.

"Amelia told him where I was living. She told him my address," I said as I sighed. "I don't know what to do. I want to tell my mom, but I can't because I don't want her to leave your dad because she loves him so much, and I just..." I looked at him.

"I just want to see her happy again, you know," I said as I looked deeply into his eyes. "And on the plus side, your dad is happy with my mom, and I want to see them happy," I added as I look away.

"Hailey," Cayden trails off as I look at him, "I know you've been going through a lot right now, and trust me when I say this, I promised to protect you, and I will do everything I can to do it. Even if it means I should sacrifice everything for you," He said.

I looked at his eyes and didn't say something, "And I just want to ask that..." He starts as he moves a bit closer to me, "Do you think that we'll be able to be happy too? Like your mom and my dad?" He asked, leaning his head closer to mine.

"And do you think... We'll be able to have the chance to get a happy ending as well..." His words turn soft and quiet as his lips touch mine. I felt both of his hands caress my cheek as I open my eyes.

I stood up, wiping my lips. "This is... I shouldn't... We shouldn't... Oh god," I said as I pace back and forth in front of him, "How many times do I have to tell you that this is not right?"

I felt his eyes watch me as I paced back and forth, "Hailey, just calm down," He said as I roll my eyes.

"Calm down? I can't. You can't just keep on kissing me while our parents are engaged."

"What do you want me to do to show you how much I'm willing to do so much for you?"

He stands up from the bench, "And how many times do you want me to tell you that I love you and that I'm ready to fight for what we have, just to convince you to fight for me too?" He asks. I stopped pacing, and I look at him. My eyes start to pool.

I shake my head, "This is wrong. Maybe," I said as I look away from his eyes, "Maybe, we're not just meant to be for each other. Maybe, you are destined to meet someone else, or maybe, our parents are good for each other, and we will never be as good as them."

Maybe there are choices that I have regret making for the past few weeks, and maybe, this is one of them.

From the bottom of my heart, I know it still longs for Cayden. But, I have got to do the right thing for those people whom I love to gain the happiness they need.

"I love you, but we need to stop right now before we start hurting people that we love," I said as I start to walk away, leaving him in his spot.

"Can you just start acting selfishly for once?" He shouted as I continue walking, feeling the tears escape my eyes, "Can you just do something that will make you happy and not be selfless?" He shouted again.

I stopped walking and turned around, "I tried!" I shouted as the tears trickle down on my cheeks, more and more, "Okay? I tried. I tried my best, but I just can't. I fear for those people I love who might hate me for what I am doing."

"Well, fucking try again!"

"I want my mom to be happy! I can't stand seeing her being sad, not anymore," I said in a soft tone.

"Can you just fucking stop saying that you want your mom to be happy? Okay, what about you? Your happiness? Me?" He said as he walked towards me as I keep on crying.

"You won't lose your mom even if you are with me. But I know that you will lose me if you choose your mom's happiness over yours because that's your life. You control what is yours. You fight for what is yours."

"I am fighting for you this time, but I guess for you, I'm not worth a fight," He said as he proceeds to walk, this time, leaving me alone. He walked towards his car as I looked at him, "I love you. I hope that's enough to change your mind."

He entered his car, and I watch him drive away from this place, leaving me standing in this spot. I sat down on the sand as I continue crying, sobbing even. The sky starts to go dark, and soon, it starts to drizzle.

And next thing I know, it's raining. "Great, this is great," I said as I stood up from the sand and walked towards the parking spot. I wipe off the sand that's sticking on my pants and walked towards the highway.

I walked and walked as the rain continues to shower over my head, still feeling the tears trickle down my cheeks, camouflaged by the rain that's washing over my face. I think of the memories that I've made with Cayden, the happy moments that I never thought that will make me happy again after knowing that my dad died.

I think about the times that Cayden has always been there for me when I needed someone and when I needed him as much as he needed me. All those times that he was there to make me smile, make me laugh, and always encourage me and be who I am.

The person who I need the most is slipping through my fingers, and I don't know if I should ever do the most selfish thing, just to make myself happy, again.

Should I fight for what I deserve? Should I fight for my happiness? Am I ready to face all of these obstacles? Am I ready to fight for him?