Chapter 196: The Pendrive

Chapter 196: The Pendrive
Vida's POV
"Let's go home." Meredith's voice was gentle, careful like he was afraid that even the air coming from his breath is going to break me, I didn't answer, I didn't even say a word, I just sat there, my fingers were curled tightly around the pendrive, my palm trembling as if the small object carried the weight of everything I had just lost and everything I was about to find out. This would had been a happy moment for me because I will finally get to see the face of the woman that birth me but it turns out the other way, maybe if my aunt was still here with me, I wouldn't be this sad, maybe, if I didn't just watch my aunt take her last breath in front of me and I couldn't do anything, this moment would had been different for me.
I grip hard on the drive, like I was holding her, while I stared out the window, but I wasn't really seeing anything, the world blurred past me, trees buildings, cars, people, but none of it registered, all I could see was her, my aunt, her weak smile, and the way her hand trembled in mine. The way her voice cracked when she called me the best thing that ever happened to her, I saw pride in her eyes, she loved me, cared for me, like I was not just some abandoned child but someone she cherished. The memory hit hard, and I swallowed hard, while my grip tightened around the pendrive, "she loves me even when I wasn't related to her," I whispered under my breath, "but why can't I save her?" My voice broke before I could finish and Meredith glanced at me, his jaw tightening, but he didn't say anything, he just reached over and placed his hand over mine, his touch was warm and comforting, I didn't pull away all I did was pull closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder.
When the car finally came to a stop, I barely registered it, I didn't even know when Meredith pulled over, "we are home," Meredith said softly, home again, the word felt just as foreign as a language I just heard, then memory of the first time, my aunt and I had move to our first mortgage house surface, how my aunt had announced that we finally get a decent home of our own, my tears blur. As I stepped out of the car slowly, my legs felt heavier than they should have been, and then the front door opened.
"Vida!" I heard my name the moment I stepped out, when my eyes met Akira, something inside me shattered completely. I didn't think, I didn't speak, I just ran straight into her arms, not caring if my bump was too big for a hug. The sob tore out of me before I could stop it.
"I lost her..." I cried, clutching her like she was the only thing holding me together.
Akira wrapped her arms around me instantly, holding me tight, "Hey... Look at me..." She murmured softly.
"I lost her," I repeated, my voice breaking over and over again, "I tried... I swear I tried to heal her." My chest heaved as the words spilled out, "I didn't want anything to happen to her..."" Tears blurred everything, "but I failed again! The words came out louder this time, sharper and full of everything I had been holding in since we left the hospital. "I failed her!"
Akira pulled me closer, "It's not your fault..."
"It is!" I cried, shaking my head against her shoulders. "It is!" My hands gripped her clothes tightly, "First, the mortgage," my voice cracked, "I couldn't even save her... " Images flashed in my mind, how the mortgage company came and took our home, the last memory I had of my aunt. "And now..." I choked, "I couldn't save her life." My entire body shook, "I'm useless..." The word came out in a whisper, broken and empty.
Akira pulled back just enough to look at me, her hands cupping my face, "Don't say that," she said firmly, her eyes were soft but strong, "it's not your fault."
I shook my head weakly, "You don't understand..."
"I do," she interrupt me gently, while her thumbs brushed away my tears, "more than you think," I freeze slightly, "you did everything you could," she continues, "and sometimes even that isn't enough," her voice softened, "but that doesn't mean you are a failure." She cupped my face, "It doesn't make you useless." I wanted to believe her, I really want to, but the weight in my chest refuses to be lifted. I felt I had gone back to those days of pain, "everything happens for a reason," she added quietly.
I let out a shaky breath, "I hated that reason."
A faint, sad smile touched her lips, "I know."
Silence stayed between us for a moment, and then I slowly opened my hands, revealing the pendrive, "this..." I whispered, Akira's gaze dropped to it, "It was my mother's." Her eyes lifted back to me, "She left it for me." The words felt strange and heavy like they didn't quite belong to me.
Akira's expression softened even more, "We will watch it," she said gently, "but not now, you need to rest." She said firmly and I nodded weakly because I didn't think I could handle anything else right now.
"Meredith," Logan's voice came from ahead of us, I hadn't even noticed him there, "You should let her rest," he said, his tone was calm but firm, "Stress isn't good for the baby,"
The baby? The word grounded me slightly, pulled me back from the edge, I swallowed, "I will rest!" I muttered.
Meredith stepped closer. Immediately, his arm wrapped around me, "Come on," he said softly. I didn't resist. I just let him lead me inside.
I don't remember when I fell asleep, only that when I woke up, everything felt quieter, less chaotic, but the pain was still there. Evening had already settled in, the house smelled like food, warm, comforting, I sat up slowly, my hand instinctively going to my stomach. The baby inside me seems to be the only thing holding my sanity, "Are you okay?" Meredith had asked as he set the table for us to eat, just the two of us. I was glad we were having this meal alone, because I don't think I had the strength to see anyone or even leave the room
"I'm okay," I whispered softly more to myself than to anyone else, but something else sat heavy in my mind.
The pendrive!
My eyes found it where I had left it, still there waiting to be unraveled. We had our meal without a word after that first word Meredith asked me, when we were done, Meredith looked at me, "How are you feeling?"
"Better," I said, it wasn't entirely true, but it wasn't entirely a lie either, my gaze dropped back to the pendrive on the table, "I want to watch it "
He hesitated, "Baby..."
"Please," my voice was quiet but firm. I needed this; I needed to know.
He signed slightly, "Fine, but you had to promise me that you wouldn't cry anymore." I nodded, but I was not sure I could Keep that promise.
We sat side by side as he plugged the pendrive into the laptop, my heart started beating faster, louder, and uncontrollably, like it was trying to warn me, to just go to bed and forget about the video today.
The screen flickered suddenly, then a woman appeared. My breath caught; she looked like me, no, I looked like her. Same eyes, same shape of face, her long, wavy hair fell over her shoulders as she smiled softly at the camera, like she was alive just right there, she was knitting a baby dress, tears filled my eyes instantly, "Hi dear!" She said gently, her voice low but filled with love, and it hit something inside of me, "I know, I must have been gone by the time you find this." My chest tightened painfully, "I don't have much time," she continues, "I don't know when they will come for me..."" Fear flickered across her face, "but I had to keep you safe" my fingers curled tightly against my lap, "I don't want them to find you," her voice softened, "I don't want you to live the kind of life, I had, I don't want your fate to be similar to mine, I don't want your life to depend on someone continuous existence. It's bad enough they know I was pregnant with you" I swallowed hard, "I thought they were family," she said bitterly, "so I trusted them, I told them my little secrets. But it turned out that they weren't family but enemies." Her gaze dropped briefly before lifting again. "You need to know the truth about yourself and your mother." She paused, "I am a guardian and that makes you one. Guardians are made to protect, to lay down their life for their ward," The word hit me, "and they were never supposed to fall in love." My breath stilled, "but I did," her lips curved faintly, "I met someone..."